Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
**Starting January I'm moving to West Seattle. Not changing my name
since Ballard will always be in my heart or some junk. Also, I like
to re-write all of this when I'm bored since I never feel the words
describe me well correctly**
I was born in California, raised in Bellingham, schooled in
Pullman, whored myself out in Japan doing ESL and am now living the
dream in Seattle.
I dance like a hobbled Fred Astair
Sing like a city falling
Cook like a dream
Party like a lemur
Love like a thing...that...loves...good? No. Well. The word is
Describe like a simile
Also pretty fond of puppies and cocktails.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Using proper grammar.
Acquiring new skills to pay ever increasing bills.
Doing techy stuff at a tech company where I tech. Not bad at it
Career, friends, sometimes travel. Occasional self
discovery/improvement. Some times getting overly worked up about
nonsensical things like how David the Gnome was the best show of my
childhood, proper cutting technique when dicing vegetables, how
terrible the Transformers movies were and why I can't find a decent
soy latte that doesn't taste like liquid diabetes.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Saying things. Even some of them are funny.
Using the term "Whoopee" in a non-ironic fashion.
Christopher Walken impressions. No, really, it's not bad. Stop
hating before you have even heard it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a very deep voice. It's awesome.
I've been told I sound like Brendan Fraser when I talk. This is not
intentional, but is hilarious. Though this might belong under the
"Embarrassing Thing" section.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I don't really have favorite authors beyond some of the
basics like Vonnegut and Lovecraft, I'll read anything honestly. I
found my old graphic novels so re-reading Old Boy and working
through Snow Crash and some other loaners.
I'm big on Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Horror and whatever is recommended to
My favorite films are probably the Lone Wolf and Cub series,
followed closely by the Revenge Series, then it becomes a blur of
Godzilla, Fight Club, Dark City, Guillermo Del Toro, Tarrantino and
pretty much anything involving the Goddamn Batman.
Also I'm really a big fan of offbeat documentaries, kids movies and
classic dialogue heavy dramas. Truthfully, I have a hard time
watching most blockbusters now and I think The Transformers movies
are about the worst thing I've ever seen and that makes me a little
sad for some reason.
Television and I have a strange relationship. I think it's mostly a
wasteland of vapid, empty drivel and it keeps punching me in the
face with Archer, most things on Adult Swim and How It's Made. Also
spent a lot of time watching Law and Order but that's likely
because my folks are lawyers and they got me in to it. I haven't
had cable for years but my Netflix account gets a workout.
Music is such a weird topic for me. I rarely listened to it growing
up and sometimes go a couple years before I really expand my
library. I go mostly for electronic, a-typical rock, nerd-core and
things like nerd-core and stuff that gives me a massive case of
"the feels". Justice, Electric Six, Jonathon Coulton, Childish
Gambino and Tom Waits are good examples.
And I'll eat anything on this earth. I'm moving towards a much more
vegetarian diet these days but that's not going to stop me from
eating whatever random things I come across. I just can't stand
fast food or eating the same meal constantly.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I'm going to try and take over the world tonight
God-DAMN steak is good!
What is the Lich doing this week on Adventure Time?
What kind of dog do I want to get and how awesome will it be when I
Cthulhu. Don't ask why.
It's a quick way to get me to talk.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
doing the electric slide to music by Turquoise Jeep.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I won a game tournament in New York when I was 13, my folks
suggested I enter. Got a bag of DKNY cologne and to meet the
This is the only trophy I've ever won.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think you are a Bad Enough Chick to help me rescue the
President from Ninjas in a foreign land on a regular basis.
You are ready for a Badass gentlemen to use proper grammar on you
until your clothes fall off!
You identify as nerdy in some regard. It seems every nerd I've ever
met is intensely passionate/knowledgeable about at least 1 thing
and that is far and away better than apathy. I have my passions,
you have yours, and we both have things to talk about.
You agree that good-natured banter back and forth is damn sexy. If
you can figure out a way to make the topic of "Monsanto cucumbers
cause genital baldness" in to 30 minutes of off-color jokes, we'd
get along just fine.
You have a very loose definition of what it means to be "an adult"
or "grown up". Odds are I'm going to build a blanket fort at some
point then crunch data for the office in it, so be cool with that.
Who are you looking for?
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