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38 Lewisville, TX Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-48
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 5:51pm
5' 7" (1.70m)
Body Type
Average build
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
Has dogs
English, C++
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a little rough around the edges. Maybe that's an understatement, could be I just have big edges. I'm generally a good person. I'm generally courteous. My sense of humor may not be for everyone.

Sometimes this profile changes. Not always for the better.

Some things I like and/or enjoy:
Women, motorcycles, dogs, guns, music, titties, pin-up girls, burlesque, rockabilly, cats - if they are cool, vaginas - if they are hot (and wet), MotoGP, supercross, flat track, WRC, rallycross, F1, tastefully done resto-mods, tasteless rat rods, and I would like to go to a roller derby - seems legit.

If I had to pick one word to describe my balls, then it would be "nutrageous."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to be happy. Trying to get my KZ400 and/or ZR550 up and running. Trying to ride my dirt bike when I can.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Turning premix into smoke and roost. Cutting things with a 16-5/16" Makita circular saw. Overthinking things. Keeping a sweet ass farmer's tan year round. Getting the loudest, squeakiest, wobbliest shopping cart ever.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
How fucking awesome I am. Or my birthmark. Probably that.

I tend to border between INTP and ISTP, depending on the day.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Movies: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

Shows: The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed By the Inmates of the Asylum at Charneton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade

Music: I Wrote Haikus About Cannibalism in Your Yearbook, Flagitious Idiosyncrasy in the Dilapidation

Food: Tacos al Pastor con limón , cilantro , cebolla, cotija y salsa verde en tortillas de maíz blanco
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Your vagina. It's so awesome that it counts for all six.

Although absurd alliterations are admittedly awesome and amusing, annoying asshole acolytes are always advising against adopting abundant attempts and assure abstaining absolutely attests at abilities attributed amorously among admirable academics affably adopting agendas aimed at anal arousal.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Jordanian, a Kiwi, a Swede, a Finn, a Canadian, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, an Argentinian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, and an African went to a night club.

The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai."
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Wondering when will
Those tasty tender tacos
Find friendly faces?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hoping the weather is right for going riding Saturday.

Taking the dogs for a walk, although they just want to smell stuff and act like they are going to pee, and then have to go smell somewhere else because it's important to pee in the perfect spot. You know, dog piss feng shui and what not... Shit, that's a good name for a band!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a lard can. I prefer to cook my eggs in bacon grease. I do this as a service to your children or grandchildren so that if I happen to be in their Soylent Green, it will be extra delicious. Also, it makes the eggs extra delicious. Win-win fo sho.

Edit: Butter is putting up a valiant fight to bacon grease for the medium of choice for deliciousness...

When I was a kid, my favorite Sesame Street character was Oscar the Grouch. He still is.

The following is in iambic pentameter:
"I like it when I get to see your tits."

"I want to club the baby seals today."

"How fun it is to tie you up at times."

"I love to give you cum stains in your drawers."
Depends on if you consider "drawers" a single or double syllable word. Inflection is a little iffy as well.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.