I am Jesus Christ. You're all saved! You're saved and you're saved.
And you and you and you. Everybody is saved! It's a goddamn
What I’m doing with my life
Water into wine, healing the sick, nbd.
I’m really good at
What? Brag a little? Hello, the son of god. No, even better, I am
god. Wait, no, I'm confused. That doesn't actually make sense. You,
geisha, bring me a bible.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fifty shades of THE BIBLE. C'mon son...
I saw The Passion of the Christ in iMax 3D four hundred and eleven
times. But then you petulant humans took it out of theaters... And
for WHAT? Vin Diesel's The Pacifier? Jesus Christ! I mean, I don't
want to sound vindictive, but he's going straight to hell. Do not
pass go. Do not collect two-hundred dollars. Hell.
So... I bought the blu-ray and am repurposing the sun to be my
private projector. Hope you weren't using it.
Satan has been using one of his wholey-owned subsidiaries, Comcast,
to throttle and otherwise extort my Netflix. I am displeased.
Water. Fish. Bread. Occasionally dirt. I have an overwhelming
aversion to wine and crackers. That's all I'd like to say on the
The six things I could never do without
Crosses. A thousand times, crosses.
Wait! I misread the prompt! Noooooooo
I spend a lot of time thinking about
When I was a kid, people used to come to my school that
professionally yo-yo. Then they would peddle their yo-yos to the
kids. Maybe I could ditch this messiah thing and you know, pivot. I
On a typical Friday night I am
I don't spend Fridays on Earth anymore, they haven't been Good to
me. Worst. Pun. Ever. I won't apologize. Fuck you.
You should message me if
I hated my profile. So I destroyed it. For now it's been repurposed
as a sketch pad on to which I vomit nonsense. I won't mess with my
questions, details, or pictures. I'm hoping the next picture is of
me as a dalek so I can rewrite my profile with EXTERMINATE!