Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"Pants are for public." - Me
I don't really have a motto per se, but examinations of my speech
patterns would show the above to be at the top of the list. I
developed the above litany a couple of years ago when my housemate
I simply don't like to wear pants at home. (Yes, even with a
housemate.) Pants are only something to be worn when I am at
NOT-home. If I'm lounging around at home, I'm usually in my bed,
and no one wants to wear pants in bed, do they?!?
I even have what I call "my Mr. Rogers chair" placed near the front
door of my apartment. This allows me to take off the coat and then
hang it up; take off the shoes and socks to store them under the
chair; and take off my pants. It's a natural progression, I'm sure
Pantslessness can have its own problems though... What if there's a
fire? Also, how does one get motivated when getting out of the
house involves putting pants back on? I'll admit to bailing from
attending a non-zero number of house parties because I couldn't
broach the pants-event-horizon.
I do also like to break my own rule sometimes, though somewhat
strategically. If we do end up meeting, ask me to tell you about
the little 'game' I play with the TSA.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
1) Pranksterism - I came to the Bay Area in 2007 a specific social
goal: to start a group in SF of good-natured public pranksters
modeled on NYC's Improv Everywhere. I actually did manage to corral
a group of people into doing 'missions' with me for a couple of
years (search: SFShenanigans), but that went by the wayside once I
got plugged into the much more amorphous but long-lived SF
institution: Cachophony. Since then my involvement has taken on a
nuanced bent towards art, enablement, social and political
2) Sailing - A couple of years ago I decided to take a couple of
sailing lessons to prepare for a vacation I was taking. I expected
to take one or two low-cost lessons and call it good. But then I
started sailing dinghies at a co-op club in Berkeley and I fell for
sailing like an oversized anchor. After three months of taking
lessons, I ended up giving them. After a year and a half, I had
graduated to skippering on the club's keelboats. Now, I am signed
up to do one leg (1/8th) of a circumnavigation race ("Clipper Round
the World") from SF to NYC via the Panama Canal and Jamaica.
3) Recreational Programming - I know that I am a very fortunate
person, for unlike too many people in this world, I *really* enjoy
what I do for work. I like it so much that I willingly, gladly,
happily do programming stuff in my free time. Maybe it's reading a
book or a blog post about new techniques or patterns; maybe it is
searching out helpful new Open Source projects to incorporate at
work; perhaps I'm volunteering as a mentor for newly minted
programmers. I love that the knowledge I learn and build can affect
so many people, hopefully in positive ways.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing the part of the bodyguard or bouncer. I've got a pretty
good 100-yard stare, and enough "Public Safety" background to sound
Consuming food/drink - Though this can also be a life-long drawback
at least I can proudly declare that I was the anchor on a college
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Visibly: tattoos and piercings, all-black wardrobe
Audibly: my tendency toward foul language, or my borderline
maniacally evil laugh
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have an addiction. I am addicted to big-budget films. And maybe
even mid-budget films. I love going to the movie theater to see the
latest guns / chases / action / adventure / spaceship / aliens /
crime / buddy / comedy / spy / explosions. They don't even have to
be all that good, but I still love the experience.
For *classy* movies, I actually like (well-done) slowly paced
Another thing to note, since my relationship with my dad has always
been a bit strained, ANY father-related plotlines have a tendency
of getting me a bit misty.
I have also been known to go on Netflix/Amazon benders of decent
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) My laptop - No for realz. I literally just married my laptop at
my friends' wedding anniversary where we flash-mobbed the Academy
of Science building and everyone got married to someone/something.
Computer access is the main tool I use to make my mark upon the
2) Showering - I love being in the shower. The warm water falling
on me is just so damn relaxing. I do most of my best thinking in
3) A hat - I'm actually not that good at remembering to bring a had
when I leave SF for... ANYWHERE ELSE... that has sun. But I need
it. Because sloughing sunburned skin of a bald head isn't really
all that fun.
4) Passport - I haven't done nearly enough international travel
5) Cuddling - I really love waking up next to a loved one.
Hanky-panky is seriously great, but I end up feeling more connected
when falling asleep and waking in my partner's presence.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Frequently found volunteering at a sex-positive event space.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I'm in a relationship, I sometimes have difficulty
distinguishing between what I want and what I think my partner
wants to hear. I wish I could be better able to parse out one from
the other, but empirical evidence shows that this is a significant
challenge for me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
... you are serious about exploring non-traditional relationship
structures. I have sworn an oath to my dating consigliere that I
will not date outside of the greater non-monogamy tribe.
... you honestly consider yourself a nice person who is concerned
about least and the greatest of us all.
... you are interested in real communication, even the sticky,
messy, FEEEEELINGS stuff (when we get there, that is).
The next bit is kind of "Choose Your Own Adventure":
... you are looking for a poly-friend, i.e. a relationship where we
could take each other out on test runs of a new date
location/adventure. Maybe someone that you'd be interested in
exploring a new club or party with, but not necessarily "be there
... you are looking for up to a 1-2 night/week partner, i.e.
something potentially a little more substantial than
"recreational", but not as immersive as a 4+night/week
relationship. [A "secondary"-type situation *might* be appropriate
for me... The time I went to the movies, and my girlfriend was
holding my hand and her husband's hand at the same time, was a
poly-transformative moment for me.]
Who are you looking for?
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