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44 Alexandria, VA Genderqueer


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 30–66
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Jun 17
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
A little extra
Buddhism, and somewhat serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Rather not say
Doesn’t want kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
An admixture of thinker, musician, writer, wirehead, mostly vegetarian, Buddhist, queer, genderqueer,kinky, sex-positive, bookish vagabond.

My serious relationships have mostly been polyamorous -- I'm not interested in sleeping around with lots of people, but I do recognize (and love!) that there is a whole spectrum of possible relationships in between "just friends" and romantic partnership, so long as there's honesty and communication and thoughtfulness on all sides.

I am keen, humane, and perverse.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Making music (I produce electronic music, and play surf punk on a pink paisley Telecaster), writing (prose, essays, and software), deconstructing gender, getting educated about and speaking out against oppression.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Turning nearly anything into a piece of art or a musical instrument. Flirtatious sarcasm. Clothes shopping. Figuring out technology. Writing absurd sonnets and short stories. Shivasana. Aeolian arpeggios. Sidechain compression. Gear ratios.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My hair. Once engaged in conversation, I have a dry, eccentric sense of humor that comes to the surface pretty quickly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.

(a) Currently I am lingering at the event horizon of both Don Quixote and Infinite Jest, trying to decide which one to dive into first (any opinions?) The fiction section of my bookshelf includes the likes of Kathy Acker, Ballard, Balzac, Brecht, Burroughs, Raymond Chandler, Fitzgerald, Genet, Irving, Flannery O'Connor, Neil Stephenson and Wodehouse. Also I read a fair amount of non-fiction, ranging from social theory and politics (Foucault, Barthes, Chomsky) to practical texts (music theory & audio engineering) to all-around wunderbrains like Douglas Hofstadter.

(b) I tend to follow directors more closely than actors, a few perennial favorites are Woody Allen, Altman, Godard (I love Truffaut too), Kurosawa, Scorsese, Welles, Billy Wilder, Zhang Yimou. I have a special love of noir (my fave is probably either The Big Sleep or Touch of Evil, though Blue Velvet is pretty noir) and artsy-trashy directors like Almodovar, Jodorowsky and John Waters. I've been trying to get more acquainted with some of the quintessential rugged American filmmakers like Fuller and Pekinpah, both of whom are pretty interesting.

(c) Lately the playlist includes: UK garage mixes, Gossip, Baroness, Black Flag, Eric Dolphy, Ravel, Erik Satie, Keith Jarrett's recordings of the Shostakovich preludes & fugues, an assortment of Indian classical music (which is still new territory to me). Other folks who have played a big role in my musical upbringing, a brief list includes Blondie, Captain Beefheart, Coil, De La Soul, Dead Kennedys, Diamanda Galas, Geto Boys, Iron Maiden, Jesus Lizard, Melvins, Pixies, Public Enemy, Rush, Smiths, Social Distortion, Sonic Youth, Frank Zappa.

(d) Banana or coffee yogurt. Palak paneer, thai hot vegetable pad thai, or homemade chana masala. Vegetarian black bean chili with jalapenos off the vine. New England clam chowder (no corn or bacon). Good hot & sour soup and spring rolls. Thin crust pizza with sun dried tomato and crushed red pepper. Seedless grapes and sliced melon.

The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Music, friends, alone-time, language, fresh air, a sense of humor.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Analyzing the social mechanisms of power. Obsessing about whatever song fragment has been stuck in my head for the past two days. Getting back into being more involved with Buddhism and contemplating the balance between compassion and detatchment that makes Buddhism so appealing to me. Harmonic theory and psychoacoustics. Remembering whatever good movies I've watched recently, and which of my friends I'd like to share them with. That I should write more.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Recording music, watching movies at home, doing something low-key with friends, or goofing off online. I love to go out dancing every now and again (contra dancing or house music) but usually am a pretty low key person socially these days.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm on FL
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're a fairly like-minded person with a good heart and conscience and an active mind. Nice manners are also a big plus.

I ultimately want to find somebody I can connect with intellectually, sexually, creatively, socially, spiritually -- to eventually build a relationship and home with. That's not something you can predict or that happens overnight though, so right now I'm just generally wanting to make new friends for conversation, shared interests, and especially if you want to talk possible creative collaboration (if you're a graphic artist or pixel artist looking for a pet project, we should definitely talk!) So if you see something that catches your interest, please say hi!