I'm a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma covered in chewy caramel and thick, thick chocolate.

Being a mother at the moment takes up 99 per cent of my time.

Currently pondering what to do with the remainder of my working life seeing as I'll have to go back and work for 'the man' in the near future. Do I settle for the checkout at Asda or retrain as, erm, something I haven't thought of yet. Advice work/counselling is probably where I'll end up.

I'm like a boat with no oars just drifting on the tides and getting bloody nowhere.

Doing as little as possible, getting my children to perform menial tasks and then moaning that I have to do everything myself. I'm good at being both motherly and a completely immature, giggling buffoon but not always at the same time. I'm very good at acting the giddy goat.

I tend to be pretty quiet when meeting new people and probably come across as a bit snooty. Not intentional just insecurity.

Favourite music - see here www.last.fm/user/doobrey

Favourite comedy - I'm Alan Partridge, Saxondale, The Office, The Day Today, On The Hour, Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers, Blackadder, Peep Show, Fast Show, French and Saunders, dinnerladies, Screenwipe, TV Burp, QI, Peter Serafinowicz, Family Guy, and more I can't think of right now

Favourite books - mostly light fiction and anything with little or no literary merit - doing English at degree level put me off most serious stuff for life.

Favourite films - Trains, Planes and Automobiles :: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels :: Personal Services :: The Shawshank Redemption :: The Green Mile :: Gone With The Wind :: Gypsy :: Whatever Happened To Baby Jane :: Frenzy :: Rear Window :: The Whicker Man :: This Happy Breed :: Billy Liar :: Kes :: Best In Show :: This Is Spinal Tap :: Big :: Groundhog Day :: Terms Of Endearment :: Stalag 17 :: WarGames :: The Producers :: Blazing Saddles :: Young Frankenstein :: Some Like It Hot :: When Harry Met Sally :: Silkwood :: Life Of Brian :: Freaks :: Monty Python and the Holy Grail :: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind :: Pulp Fiction :: Shaun Of The Dead :: Quadrophenia :: The Elephant Man :: Brief Encounter :: The Family Way :: Tootsie :: Rain Man :: Midnight Cowboy :: Ghostbusters :: Goodfellas :: Back To The Future trilogy :: Scrooged :: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind :: Dark Victory :: Now, Voyager :: One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest ::

Children (just mine, I can do without the other few billion), coffee, the interwebz, forbidden foods, my comfy bed and my freedom (!!!!!!!!)

Would my bum *really* fall off if I undid my belly button?

doing what I do every other night of the week

you don't take it personally if I don't respond.