I'm a babyfaced day dreamer. I have a quick wit, a half decent smile and a face crafted by the finest efforts of a youth spent falling firmly face first onto skate boards.

I suffer from an over inflated sense of wanderlust. I have a need to see whats over the next hill and around the next corner. Recently I've found myself staying longer in Kent than I ever intended to. I like the people and enjoy the views.
I have an irreverent attitude towards life. Normally when people first meet me they think I don’t take anything seriously, before realising that beneath it all I have a serious and reflective side. Eventually though they realise I really am just as simple as I first appear and all depths are just shadows cast by my hidden shallows.
If you really want to get a feel for me the best place to begin is probably my journal entries. They probably reveal a little more of my character than any form filling ever would.
Some people accuse me of being a flirt. These people are quite correct.

Edit: So I had a small incident with my pc catching on fire due to something to do with the fan deciding it didn't want to work. While it was both an emotional and warm moment, it also lead to me being away from the internet for what seemed like an age. If I haven't responded it's not just because I'm rude. I'm going to try and catch up on my backlog over the next few days.

I'm a struggling writer, the apprenticeship for being a successful writer. Before this I was an advertising wunderkind. I wish I could pretend that this was a lifes calling, when in reality it came down to being the first place that would employ me with a useless degree. After years of taking writing jobs, I've finally started doing what I always wanted to do. Writing for myself (and the money) as a way to express my vision (of a life with money). I also do a little stand up along the way, mostly for fun.

Edit: I'm now less struggling as a writer and more an intimidated by the possibility of being successful. I have little to no desire to be famous, just to be read.

I may be the best in the world at being me. There was someone else who came pretty close but he retired last year.

Stand up comedy, its the hobby I enjoy the most. Observing the absurdities of the world. Drinking coffee. I used to be a fantastic runner, now what I lack in speed I make up for in stamina. I write pretty well. Most importantly I pay attention to people and know theres a time to listen and a time to speak.

I give myself very good advice, but I seldom ever follow it.

My accent is a strange mishmash of Scots, Canadian and Irish, and so stands out a wee bit. I have wandering pigment in my eyes which other people seem to notice a lot more than I do. Also I have disproportionately large feet.

I often get told I look like "that guy who does that thing." As of today I have no idea who that guy is nor what that thing he does is. Maybe tommorrow I'll find out.

It turns out that guy is a hobbit. I have no idea.
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..... apparently also my nose.

Books: Lets get the shameful out of the way first: I really like Jane Austen novels. I know this will make it hard to keep my head raised in polite and not so polite company, but sadly its true. Louis De Bernies Captains Correlli's Mandolin is a fantastic book and always has a space on a shelf where ever I may end up staying. Then I also enjoy Rushdie's novels and the trashiest pulpest airport novels you could happen to come across, so my tastes are many and varied.

Movies: Blade Runner, Empire Records, The Princess Bride, Intermission, The Damned United, Grosse Point Blank and Bullit. I also love terrible movies the more unbearably cringeworthy the better. The Room may be the best movie ever made.

Shows: Nothing has really come close to the Wire, although I do have a huge soft spot for The West Wing. Also Misfits is a tremendious show that is better than it should be. Nothing will ever be as funny as Spaced. From what I've seen so far, Broadwalk Empire looks to be a fantastic show that will soak up too much of my free time. I also find myself watching shows about shows. I find myself watching Charlie Brooker while making this strange smiling nodding motion that can only be tempered by the deep setted sense of jealousy that he gets paid to do what I do while watching TV.

Music: I was a punk rock skater kid. Now I pretty much listen to everything, and dance terribly to most of it. Give me Ska in the Summer and Reggae in the Winter and I'm a happy lad. Dutch and Afrikaans hip hop is fantastic, in particular The Opposites and Flinke Namen, as there are few more rythmic languages perfectly suited for rap. Also Cinnamon Chasers is always on my MP3 player, the video for Luve Delux may be the best I've ever seen. My love for "Does It Offend You, Yeah?" may be bordering on the obscene.

I have a soft spot for terrible 80's songs. One of my earliest memories is break dancing to The Final Countdown by Europe. I think I was 3 at the time. 26 years later and not much has changed.

This year I have been constantly humming "Ghost Town" by the Specials. Its worth doing for the way the humming rapidly spreads along a tube carriage.

Food: I love Thai, Sushi and bananas. I was a fussy eater as a child and had to be tricked into trying new things without the actual true nature of what I was eating being revealed to me. As a result I'm still hunting for what I was told was spicy brontosaurus.

I have come to terms with the fact that I am addicted to fruit. It's reached the point where my local greengrocer knows me on a first name basis. (His name is Tim, he's a hell of a guy.)

My running shoes, an mp3 player, a bed that loves me as much as I love it, laughter, blueberries and hope.

Also CAKE. No seriously, I love me some cake.

The older I get, the wiser I'm not. If I have realised anything as I get older it's that there are a lot of things in the world that I don't know and puzzles that I will never be able to solve. Recently I'm starting to come to terms with this, and know that this is alright.

I do find myself wondering what tommorrow will bring. How I can turn todays events into something to make someone else smile. Politics. Whether Satre would've been a cool person to have coffee with, or if he would just have stared off into the middle distance stirring his latte wondering about bad faith. How best to put one foot in front of the other.

Whether Sam Becket ever made the leap home. (Update: I have been reliably informed that Sam Becket never got home. This makes me a little sad.)

Standing on a stage with a mic in my hand trying to be funny. I'm making an effort this year to do more open mics and try to take the comedy thing almost seriously. There is an equally high chance of sleeping.

Those time I do go out normally end up with me drinking a lot of pepsi and becoming increasingly huggy at a rate directly related to how drunk my pals are getting. Its a good thing that I'm a happy passive drunk.

When I was a wean I knew exactly what I wanted to be. While everyone else wanted to be train drivers, space pirates and famous explorers, I settled upon one dream. I enjoyed reading, it appealed to me as a shy and quiet wee lad, and so I settled upon one day creating something that would be read by people the world over. However I was not the smartest lad in the world and didn't quite grasp the concept of an 'author' or a 'novelist'. So instead at age 6 I decided very loudly to announce to the world then when I grew up I would be a book.

I like to think I'm well on my way.

Furthermore: I am slightly creeped out (read completely freaked) by a muppet. In my defence it's a pretty creepy muppet.

If You like people who like people. If you want an amusing story to pass the time or have one that you need to let out.

You have a brain that you use to its fullest. This is because I'm a closet zombie and need something to munch upon. If you make me giggle I'll probably like you instantly. I mean giggle in a manly way clearly. Also helps if you can explain why everyone keeps stealing my beanies in London (currently the leading theory is that its London and you gotta pick a pocket or two.)

If you can explain why I would rather walk round with a pebble in my shoe than take it off and shake it out...

I have a soft spot for redheads so that will probably get you bonus points.

I love hearing absolutely useless facts, so if you have knowledge that serves next to no purpose please feel free to tell me it. The more useless the fact the better!

People trying to convince me that God wants to save me has already gotten a wee bit old, so unless you have an absolutely amazing argument I've not heard before just assume I'm a heathen who cannot and will not be saved. Whatever you believe is cool, just don't expect me to sign up for your news letter.

Finally, if you know the answer to the age old riddle "how many creatives does it take to change a lightbulb?"