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26 Brooklyn, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20-35
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 1:48pm
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Dropped out of University
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My friend once told me that I'm like an old cast iron skillet covered in a decades worth of bacon grease. Sadly that is probably the best description of myself I've ever heard.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I tend bar in Greenpoint and have consequently formed pretty strong friendships with old Polish men. It also means I occupy very strange hours with very strange people.

I also write a lot, currently working on a show for the PIT, and work on a monthly show in Bushwick with some fellow dumb dumbs.

When I'm not doing that other stuff I do stand up all over the city. (But mostly in brooklyn. You know? Because I'm lazy.)

That said. Please don't ask me to tell you a joke.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making pumpkin martini's.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I don't own many outfits.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like Sciance fiction books by sad old men, high old men, funny old men, smart old men, crazy old men, drunk old men, and a few Russians that happen to be old men.

I'll have to limit my self on movies, so this is pretty much my desert island list:
Four Lions, Old Boy, Kill List, The Thing, Gozu, Night Of the Hunter, Yojimbo, High Plains Drifter, Happiness, King of Kong, The Thin Blue Line, Repo Man, The Shining, Miami Blues, Kentucky fried Movie, The Tenant, Brazil, Blade Runner: Directors Cut.
Anything and everything Horror related. If campy was a tangible substance I that could bathe in, I would every day.

Louie, things Chris Morris and Armando Iannucci make, Arrested Development (not season 4), Kids in the Hall, Breaking Bad, The Home Box Office, Community (also not season 4), Bob's Burgers, The Venture Brothers etc...

Music wise I'm all over the place. I will say that the last show I went to was Weedeater and it was fucking amazing!

Food is god.

I'm also a BIG craft beer enthusiast. (See beer belly)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What David Bowie's bathroom must be like?

The prog-rock band Alejandro Jodorowsky and David Lynch should form.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Berating my roomates cats while drinking bourbon, about how they don't want to drink bourbon with me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've never kissed a horse.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, and watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.