Let's just get it out of the way. I suffer from micropenis. My penis is tiny. Okay? Every other relationship can start out with "Hi my name's Jeff can I buy you a drink?" but nooo it gets to the bed stage with me and suddenly the girl is shouting about throwing a lawsuit at me because they weren't warned. Well here you are! My penis is very very small! Can I buy you a drink? If you want a shot I could stir it with my dick!

After letting my condition affect me for far too long I have started a support group for micropenis sufferers, the motto is "even little penis's need support", where me and my fellow brothers can come together and talk through our problems and know that we are not alone.

It hasn't been all smooth sailing though. During the first few years a new member came in and when they showed us their condition we all behaved foolishly by jumping on to the chairs laughing and hollering that we had finally found someone with a smaller penis then any of us. Turns out it was a woman who had come just to make fun of us. Bitch.

We are currently lobbying the Government for funding to create our own line of hard-core pornography that will show the world that making love to a micro-penis sufferer does not need to be filled with childish giggling and repeated requests to know where my lucky charms are. One of our older members made a website full of his amateur home footage to express our side of the penis debacle. Within a week people were uploading videos on youtube of their reactions to the footage which was mainly screaming and vomitting. Why are people so unkind.

Not pressuring women into sex.

The small penis. I don't know how they even see it. But they always sense it. They just look at me and suddenly on their face "Oh God look at his tiny tiny penis I am instantly filled with utter disgust!"

Sausages

I'd rather tell you the one thing I could do without!

(Hint: It's about my small penis)

My screenplay. It's a semi-autobiographical fantasy piece. It's an adaptation of Pinocchio where the doll tells a lie and his nose grows. Which is great because his nose previously was ridiculously small and assholes would make fun of it all the time. But now, NOW, they just see it and drop to their knees in awe. Men want to be him and women want to be on him. Noone would ever make fun of Pinocchio anymore. They all loved and respected him. And he was NEVER UNHAPPY OR LONELY AGAIN. THE END.

Screaming in impotent rage whilst throwing myself into my ceremonial brick wall.

I'm a pretty private person so I don't think it's necessary or apt to fill out this section.

you enjoy the taste of misery. A taste is really all it needs.

Or you can visit any of these fine men who OKcupid is saying are similar to me. Fight the good fight my tiny dick bretheren!
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