I'm a trumpeter, a professional musician who regrets that most of his income comes from something other than music. I wrestle with questions about morality and the nature of existence, which is why I'm not merely an atheist but believe that religion is one of the greatest threats facing humanity today. And I generally consider ``few'' (as in, ``a few sentences'') to mean ``three'' unless otherwise specified, which is why you'll have to read the rest of my profile to learn more about me.

I am creative, moral, and godless

Well, my stock answer when people ask me this kind of question is, ``I'm really a trumpeter...but you can't make a living in the Valley of the Sun playing trumpet, so I do all sorts of things to keep my cat in kibble.''

Those ``things'' have included, over the years, teaching computers at colleges and in corporate settings; database programming and various kinds of computer consulting; a stint as a helldesk operator in a call center (yech!), and--including currently--graphic design. Almost all of those jobs have been as an independent contractor or part-time (and mostly both).

Right now, I've got a part-time gig doing graphic design production in the Marketing (meh) department of The Arizona Republic. The hours are pretty good, the pay's not bad...and the people are wonderful. The work itself is okay; nothing especially exciting, but it keeps me busy enough to not get bored while I'm there. And I forget about it the moment I step out the door. And the people--on both personal and professional levels--make me look forward to coming in to work.

...which is why, before long, I'll probably be doing something that had previously been all but unthinkable. The Republic is in the middle of one of those annual hiring freezes that large corporations seem to be fond of. When that's over, I'll most likely be offered a full-time permanent position. And I'll most likely take it. (GASP!)

Why? Well, as far as day jobs go, this is about as good as they come. I really don't have anything I can complain about. And the pay would be such that, assuming I continue to live as modestly as I currently do...well, I'll be able to ``retire'' at a shockingly early age, assuming again that I keep my current lifestyle. Which means I'd be able to, say, take a gig in a small orchestra that doesn't even pay rent--but not have to worry about the money. And lots of other possibilities....

In the mean time, I'll be spending much more time than I want to at a day job, which--all things considered--I'd really rather not do. But, hey, that is how most people live their lives, no? And most of them still manage to juggle job, family, outside interests, and life, right? So shouldn't I be able to do the same, at least for a handful of years?

Tune in to find out....

...playing the trumpet. I'm a professional...but, as I wrote above, you can't make a living playing the trumpet in the Valley of the Sun, which is why I've got a day job.

And, by ``good,'' I don't just mean that I do it better than other things that I do; I mean it in the sense of being one of the best (but certainly not the best) trumpet players in the region. I've subbed with the Phoenix Symphony, and I've played principal trumpet with more local orchestras and other ensembles than I have fingers. I regularly get sincere and enthusiastic complements from fellow musicians. And...well, I have very critical standards for musicianship, and on rare occasions I almost manage to satisfy them, myself.

Aside from the horn, my other big thing is photography. I'm relatively new to it, and I'm nowhere near as good a photographer as I am a trumpeter. But, I enjoy it, and I like to think I've taken a few pictures worth looking at. I'd put some of my better ones in my profile, but OkCupid frowns on that....

Oh--and I enjoy cooking and baking and I (usually) like eating the results; others around me (such as when I bring something in to work) seem to, too. I'm at least a competent graphic designer, as that's what's paying the bills. I'm reasonably good at database programming and building dynamic Web sites. It's been some years since I've been in the classroom, but I should still be a pretty good teacher (college / corporate, not kids). I seem to have some sort of facility with words--though you should be able to judge that for yourself by now. But, in all those cases, ``good'' is in relation to the general population, not necessarily in relation to real pros--in that sense, I'm lucky to be average.

Should I admit this? Sure, why not. I'm good at procrastinating, too....

Beats the heck out of me. What did you notice?

Books

I'm gonna take the cowardly road here and not name any books--just list a bunch of the authors on my bookshelves. In many (most?) cases, I have most of that author's major works, and probably really enjoyed most of them. So, without further ado, I give you: Adams, Anderson, Anthony, Asimov, Bach, Barrie, Baum, Bova, Bradbury, Brunner, Burroughs, Card, Carroll, Clarke, Crighton, Dietz, Doyle, Faust, Foster, Gibson, Grahme, Haldeman, Hawkins, Heinlein, Herbert, Hogan, Homer, Ing, Ingrid, Kesey, Keyes, Kipling, Kornbluth, London, Michner, Niven, Orwell, Poe, Pohl, Pournelle, Shakespeare, Steinbeck, Stevenson, Stoll, Swift, Tolkein, Twain, Verne, Vinge, Weber, Wells, Williamson, and Zahn.

Movies

I enjoy movies, but I've never been passionate about them. I'm not too picky, though I will say that I don't care for the supposedly-comedic ``Look at how stupid these idiots are!'' ones, and that sappy romance flicks don't do too much for me, either. Hmmm...probably the best way to answer this would be to describe a weekend a few weeks ago, when I did nothing else but nurse my cat back to health (she gave me a really serious scare, but she's fully recovered by now). I downloaded a bunch of movies and watched them with her: The Seven Samuari, the complete Star Wars double trilogy (and I polished off Zahn's trilogy later that week), Dr. Strangelove, THX 1138, Brazil, and a few Mel Brooks classics. A few of the movies that stand out in my mind from the past are Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, and To Kill a Mockingbird. Oh--and I'll watch anything with Jackie Chan or Charlie Chaplin.

Music

Well, seeing how I'm a professional musician, it shouldn't surprise you that I love music. But I really, really need the hard stuff--my tolerance for ``easy listening'' is fairly low. That means that the Classical period is actually my least favorite of what y'all call ``classical music''; my favorites are Bach, Stravinsky, Brahms, Mahler, Berg, Verdi, Wagner, Moussorgsky, Ravel, Shostakovich, Strauss, Berlioz, Dvorak, Ives, and the like. I don't need to hear any more minimalist music, thankyouverymuch. For jazz, I'll take Miles, Dizzy, Coltrane, Brubeck, and friends. (And most any trumpeters. Duh.) There's a good amount of popular music I like, too--The Beatles are the obvious choice, but I'll also go for Pink Floyd, Rush, The Who, Jethro Tull, and others. There's plenty of country that I like; I'm especially a sucker for story ballads. I love the blues. I enjoy listening to world music--folk music of all cultures (including American folk music). Most top-40 music that I hear is worth listening to...once, maybe twice. Not several times a day, in a constant stream of similar, nearly indistinguishable songs. At this stage in my life, the best music is usually something I've never heard before (for example, Beethoven's 5th symphony is a truly brilliant work...but I really don't need to hear it again for a few more years). Oh--and I mostly play in orchestras, though I've also loved playing in: pit orchestras (opera and Broadway); concert bands and brass bands; brass quintets and brass choirs; various other chamber ensembles; jazz big bands; Mariachi bands; and probably more that I'm not remembering at the moment. And I have a decent choir voice, though it's been some years since I've sung in a choir.

Food

I've yet to come across a style of cuisine that I didn't like. I'm pretty adventurous, and will try (almost) anything at least once. There're really only two things I don't care much for: eggs recognizable as such, and bananas. I'm not sure what the deal is with either, but I suspect a bad experience when I was very, very young--I can't remember a time that I've liked either. It's not an allergy, and I certainly don't avoid eating them--I made a quiche for breakfast this morning, and I won't automatically reject banana bread (though I'll pick something else, given a choice). Finally...I can't write about food without mentioning chocolate, cheese, and garlic. It would be a very sad world, indeed, if Scharffen Berger were to stop making their 100% cacao chocolate (and, yes, I do eat that straight as well as cook / bake with it). I love all types of cheese from really sharp cheddars to triple-cream Cambozola to Gruyere to Gorgonzola to Romano to feta to...well, you name it. (Just so long as it doesn't come in a spray can or individually-wrapped slices, really.) And, while I very rarely do...I could easily eat a head or two of super-slow-cooked garlic, and I'm sometimes accused of using too much garlic in my cooking (though I've yet to experience such a heretical thought, myself.)

I've actually given this a lot of thought. And, put most simply, there aren't six things I could never do without. There's only one--but we'll get to that in a moment.

My first thought, of course, was to pick from the usual suspects--family, music, my cat, that sort of thing. But, to be brutally honest...well, my parents will die some day, for example. And I'll be devastated, won't know what to do, and all the rest. But, like it or not, I will do without them (eventually). They've done far too much for me; I just couldn't throw all that away. I owe it to them to ``do without'' them when they're gone. As much as it'll hurt to do so. And if I can do without (for example) my parents, surely I could do without music, too (if, say, I suddenly lost all my hearing). Same deal: I can't imagine it, but--honestly, now--what other choice have I?

It's probably no surprise that my second thought, then, was to go with one of the smart-alecky responses, like ``oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and most of the rest of the periodic table to one extent or another.'' But that's not an honest answer, either. I'm no transhumanist, but I've done enough thought experiments to realize that, though my body is an incredibly important part of who I am, I could still be me, even in some other completely different universe that even lacked matter as we know it. (Yah, that's ``universe'' in a very loose sense, more than bordering on woo-woo. And purely hypothetical.) I'd be different, sure, but I'll be different tomorrow, anyway--and more different still in a few decades. ``The only constant is change,'' and all that.

So, with all that in mind, I hope you won't think me selfish or conceited--rather, simply honest and (perhaps overly) analytical when I tell you that the one thing I can't do without is, quite simply, me.

Well, there're three kinds of things, mainly, that I tend to think about.

You've probably already figured out that I tend to think Deep Thoughts about The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything. That can get pretty thick at times, and it can range pretty far over the map. There's politics and current affairs, of course...but that's been far too depressing lately for me to dwell on--there's not all that much more I can do about it, so I try to avoid beating myself up over it. The nature of morality is a big favorite, and atheology and related subjects are always fun. And the thread that connects them all is, of course, ``Just what the heck is this Universe thingy, anyway?''

The other kind of thing I'll think about is whatever I happen to be working on (or what I'd like to be working on). That's rarely my day job--it's nowhere near deserving of that kind of intellectual attention (at least, not when I'm not at work). But it might be an orchestral excerpt I'm working up on the trumpet, or something I want to photograph (or what to do to a picture I've already taken), or a letter I'm planning on writing to a friend, or even just how I'm gonna deal with all the chores I've gotta plough through. Recently, it's been this profile and other things OkCupid-related.

...usually not doing anything earth-shatteringly exciting. I'm not fond of crowds, and the bar / club scene really doesn't do anything for me. Occasionally I'll have a concert or a gig, but those tend to be on weekends--and rehearsals (especially regular ones) are mid-week, mainly to avoid conflicts with concerts. But, otherwise, it's probably just a typical evening at home, practicing, playing with my cat, cooking (and eating!) dinner, catching up on whatever I'm behind on, reading a book or surfing the Web, that sort of thing.

That's not to say that I wouldn't go out on a Friday (or whatever) night--not at all. Just that I'd need some reason to do so. If you have something interesting and / or fun in mind, I'll probably quite enjoy being dragged along. But I'll also be delighted with a quiet evening together wherever, just talking or romancing or simply luxuriating in the pleasure of each other's company.

What? You mean I haven't already done exactly that, over and over and over and over again? Jesus tittyfucking Mary motherhumping Christ on stick, what in YHWH's godawful name more do you want from me?

[That's also to say, I'm the BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy on USENET, though I've been avoiding the 'froups lately. They don't call it USECRACK for nothin'! If you check my posting history, you'll come across lots of christer abuse. I won't say that it's not serious...but I will say that it's the same kind of seriousness that you'll get from George Carlin. And, before my BAAWA posts scare you off completely, do please take a moment to try to find some of my monologues on morality, articles on atheology, and treatises on the true (i.e., mythological) origins of Christ and Christianity. And think of alt.atheism as a combination open-mic comedy club and private party in a public park...a raucous, boisterous party where a rubber chicken is required for admission. (My chicken, she may be small. But she's a flying rubber chicken. Just so's you know.)]

...you want to, really. An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

But I'd really hope that you'd message me if you think we'd like each other, and especially if we agree on The Big Picture. (If you think I have a soul that needs saving, save your time and energy instead.) If you understand the logic of my answer to the ``six things'' question, and why there is absolutely no hint of implicit selfishness to it, we really oughtta talk. And, if you'd like to take me along with you to neat places or things, especially outdoors...well, that'd be spectacular. Oh--and super extra bonus points if you know lots of neat stuff that I don't and vice-versa (and are willing to share).