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Benjiman89

26 M Heidelberg, Germany

My Details

Last Online
Jul 29
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Black
Height
7′ 5″ (2.26m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Smokes
Drinks
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Fluently), French (Okay), Chinese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Hey, my name is Ben. I am German. And I don't believe in online-dating. These are some of the rare things that are true on this page :-P

Ok, so let's this!
What I’m doing with my life
Before breakfast, I like to stroll at the beach and feed seagulls ... to the sharks. I have a university degree in Creeping the Hell out of People and with a major in Jumping Naked out of the Bushes when You have Picnic with Your Parents.
I’m really good at
I scored/scared the Guinness World Record as the guy with the biggest penis after having bathed for twenty minutes in ice water: 0.9 cm! By the way: I beat your boyfriend at that competition. As a revenge he wanted to beat me, physically, with his thang, iiiiieeee! - but there wasn't anything left ;-). You don't believe me? Google "inverted thang ice naked dude" without the filter daddy added to your browser and you will see. Oh, I forgot, you won't see anything :-D. And chances are high that there is a pic of your daddy, so please don't google it!
The first things people usually notice about me
My cologne. It is illegal in most countries, including yours. It is dangerous for guys who can't handle it because it works like crazy: One drop on my body and you want to rip off my skin and fucking EAT it.
I did one drop on my underwear once. The girl... well... she ate my underwear. And then left :-(
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I write a very exciting book called Life at the moment and you have a small role as a stranger checking me out on a dating website that can't be named due to copyright protection. Let's call it okstupid. If you are willing to sleep with me, are fun and pay me coffee sometime - not necessarily in this order - I will consider to extend your role a little bit ;-)
The six things I could never do without
- the striking beautiful portrait of me that ages while I remain eternally youthful
- picking up pale girls at graveyards
- religion. I wouldn't have fun without it!
- my mother. If you don't like that, go fuck yourself!
- I like .... THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, PERVERT!!! :-P
- the imaginary friend who laughs at my jokes
- breaking the "six things"-rule
I spend a lot of time thinking about
having sex with Halle Berry and Salma Hayek @ the same time. But every man does, right? ;-)
On a typical Friday night I am
Last Friday night I spent at the hospital, healing, because I hugged poison ivy while nude-hiking in the hills. But don't worry: Normally, I am digging potatoes at the local graveyard. Afterwards I join an Advanced Screaming class at the zoo with my relatives from the primate exhibits and throw graveyard-potatoes at strangers. Well, I THINK these are potatoes...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I really think that girls are humans, too, which means that I am helplessly romantic. Oh, and I am a male stripper.
I’m looking for
  • Straight girls only
  • Ages 20–26
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
...you shower once in a while and you have never been in any kind of relationship with a girl, dog or banana. If you laughed at least once during the last five minutes. And if you are NOT just pretty. See, a lot of really beautiful girls are spoiled by their perfect genes. Don't get me wrong here: Looks DO matter, but I met a lot of girls that are DROP DEAD GORGEOUS from the outside, but DROP DEAD GARBAGE when it comes to character. On the other hand, most ugly girls are... well... ugly still and bitter about it and become overly-serious-life-hatin'-men-eatin' feminists who think everything is evil that can count to 13 in the shower without using the feet (don't ask).
That leaves the cute ones that are guilty of having character and don't take themselves too seriously. If you, my dear, are one of this exquisite species, if you don't have grandkids or syphilis - and if you are not in prison at the moment - we should meet in the church to marry and have a couple of kids sometime. Or coffee, alternatively.

And you should be smart and intelligent and able to finish a sentence properly. Because I really hate people who can't finish their