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Bert4FemaleErnie

41 M Toronto, Ontario, CA

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Add Josh Rachlis to facebook if you like :)

Note: I changed my profile name from BertSeeksErnie to Bert4FemaleErnie, because I've been told that my name made it seem like I'm gay. Honestly, I just thought it was a cute way of saying I'm looking for a romantic partner who is also a best friend and who would share jelly beans with me and who maybe has a silly, optimistic side to counterbalance my sometimes grumpy, sarcastic side. The names are referring to the Bert and Ernie muppets on Sesame Street. Heard of them? I hope so. Otherwise this still makes no sense. Anyway... So hopefully the new name clears things up and doesn't now introduce transgendered confusion into the mix. I'm just trying to say that I like girls. And muppets. Internet dating is so complicated!

What else is there to know about me other than my sexy, virile heterosexuality? Well, I would say I'm a Renaissance Man. But I would say it in a cute voice, so that it didn't sound arrogant or douchy. People tell me I live a pretty interesting life. And I hope to keep making it more interesting. I'm a writer, actor, filmmaker, comedian, cartoonist, songwriter, radio host, politician and one time cupcake judge.

I recently ran with the Green Party for Member of Provincial Parliament. It was a beautiful experience - I was so touched by all the people who came out to debates to have their say and get involved. It was moving when people thanked me for contributing. I can't wait to run for office again. It was also fun when a song I wrote for the campaign made it into the newspapers - It's great to reach people with a positive message.

For my regular day job, I'm a writer at an ad agency, which I enjoy as I get to use my brain all day. The highlight of my job so far was shooting a Visa commercial with Leslie Nielsen in Miami.

I act. I was the tiny Scottish man in the commercial for Kellogg's Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. But that’s just a "character." In reality I'm not Scottish. Not that quite that small, either. I was also the voice of the claymation Dan The Chameleon in a commercial for Hubba Bubba Max.

I care about the environment. Racial equality. Gay rights. Women's rights. Basically, I just want everyone to get along and live long, healthy lives. I do stand-up comedy, including a special brand of eco-comedy that I've invented. I've been written up in major papers about it. I've hosted award shows and community cable shows. I write humourous articles and draw cartoons for a newspaper. I like making short films. I write what on my YouTube page I call Cozy Love Songs. One song that I wrote is on the soundtrack of a short film I made about a towel who falls in love with the girl who owns him. Yes, sometimes I imagine what feelings things would have, if they had feelings. Maybe I'm too sensitive.

I did some talk radio hosting and I loved talking to the public. These days I'm doing the occasional story telling appearance on CBC Radio, and I'm talking about my life on a popular world-wide morning radio show. I love entertaining and informing the public.

I was on a recent episode of a reality dating show, and everyone I meet - from a teller at the bank to the security guard at my condo - tells me that (spoiler alert!) the girl should have picked me. So that's kind of like an endorsement for dating me, right?

I wrote an eco love song for the Green Party leader during Canadian federal election, and it went viral. It encouraged people to think about the environment during the election. I'm pretty happy about that. I'm also happy that CTV Newschannel sent a limo to take me to their studio and interview me for 5 minutes about my song. It looked like they were talking to me elsewhere, but (spoiler alert!) I was really in the next room. I'm not so happy that I decided to put in eye drops just before going on air, and a drop dripped down through my make-up and it looked like I was crying.

Every day I look forward to doing and learning new things. I'm inspired by my mom who started running at 50 and now runs marathons and triathlons, as well as paints and writes and does charity work. I'm inspired by my dad, who seems to be treating retirement as a chance to help more people in ever more ways. And I often think about how much my grandparents loved each other. There's an old photo of my Baba holding my baby cousin while my Zaida takes advantage of the moment to sneak a kiss onto Baba's cheek and Baba's face lights up. I aspire to being in a photo like that.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm working at an ad agency, writing commercials. In my spare time, I'm pursuing every creative project I can think of. Acting, screenwriting, cartooning, radio hosting, songwriting. I feel the need to be creative and I love to share my creations with the world, hopefully making people laugh and cry. Depending on what the goal of the piece is, that is. This essay, for instance, will hopefully make you laugh more than cry.

I recently bought a condo that has cool facilities in the building, like a pool and a movie theatre. But I haven't really had time, or a partner, with which to take advantage of said things. Maybe you'd like to take a break with me to take a dip or watch a flick? Or watch a flick about dips? I don't even know what I just said.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
writing online profiles about myself. As you can tell. Right? Right? ;) I'm also good at encouraging people to go after their dreams and be their best. To help more people, I've started a consulting business where I teach people how to pursue the creative jobs of their dreams. I'm also really good at getting along with dogs. They love me. And I love them. I'm a man of science, but man, if I didn't know better, I'd say that dogs and I have a special connection and that they know something about me that humanity has yet to discover. But I know better. Woof woof.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm usually told that I'm funny. If I'm not told I'm funny, it's because the person does not have a good sense of humor. ;)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I prefer to think about writing my own movies and music. And also, should anyone be judged by what books, movies, shows, music and food I like? Would you love me less if you found out I liked Tom Kha soup? (That's the creamy coconut type of soup you can get at Thai restaurants. Wait, now you don't love me anymore? Sigh. I knew I shouldn't have put anything in this section.)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My acoustic guitar
My HD camcorder for filming YouTube videos
My voice-acting microphone
A black marker and paper for drawing
Running shoes to run off the steam
Trees
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how I can most help the world. Not that I'm arrogant enough to think that the world needs my help, but, well, ok, yah, the world really needs my help.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
tweaking this profile to make it perfect. Yes, perfect! And yet... And yet... My dream girl has not yet responded!! Argggh!!!

Or, I'm thinking about writing some comedy but probably just wasting time on Facebook. Save me! Do you have some project you're working on? Let's work on our stuff in the same room or in a coffee shop, to keep each other honest! Then we can reward ourselves with something fun, like a movie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm too good a lover, and this spoils women for other men. I'm so
sorry.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If I seem at all like someone you could have a fun conversation with over a, say, Rooibos tea, for, say, 20 minutes, why don't we just try it out? At the very least, you'll have enjoyed some caffeine-free antioxidants.