Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a loyal friend, I spend a lot of time at a job I love, I
prioritize pleasure and honesty. I have a lot to give and love
helping others. I'm culturally aware, thoughtful, silly, physically
active, independent, loving, sweet, funny, scary smart, emotionally
secure, and I like to meet new people. I'm also really psyched
about who I am at this point in my life and looking for an equally
I'm looking to meet someone IN PERSON who is relaxed, intelligent,
culturally curious and sexually assertive. I've got room in my life
for some new excitement that can last. I'm seeking out connection,
attraction, and ease.
PLEASE I will not respond to messages coming from outside
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have an excellent job, fabulous friends, and take advantage of
the cultural and natural advantages of the Bay Area as much as I
can. I'm a writer by profession and I love it. I work for a
cultural institution and I believe my work is meaningful and helps
advance people's lives. I dance and/or exercise nearly every day,
eat well, take long drives by the ocean, sleep and generally
maintain a healthy emotional life. I like to be active. I spend a
lot of time with my friends who span a range of academics,
activists, non profit professionals, artists, burners, parents,
healthcare workers, techies, sex-positive educators, and other
progressive professionals. I'm attracted to friends and lovers of
different races and backgrounds. I'm most attracted to men who have
an active professional and intellectual life.
In the past few years, I've dated multiple people simultaneously,
but when I'm committed to someone special, I spend more time with
that person than anyone else. I'm not at all insistent about being
open, but I haven't been monogamous in years. The style of
relationship I'm in really depends on who I'm dating and how well
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening and being thoughtful about what I'm hearing as well as
giving honest feedback. Kissing. Editing other people's writing.
Putting a beautiful home together. Critiquing art. Finding fun
stuff to do with friends. Setting boundaries.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty damn engaging and my eyes sort of sparkle. Plus I've got
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Right now I'm mostly reading fiction. I enjoyed the Hillary Mantel
series about Thomas Cromwell and the Maddaddam trilogy by Margaret
Atwood. I also really like Junot Diaz' book on the life of Oscar
Wao. Now I'm reading Murakami. Sometimes I read the nonfiction on
my shelf, but mostly they collect dust unless, of course, I'm on an
extended vacation. I love to read. The award-winning movies I most
liked last year were 12 Years a Slave and Dallas Buyers Club. This
year, I wasn't that impressed but Selma was at the top. In general,
I love watching films and often find action flicks very
entertaining as long as there's no blatant misogyny. I'm not a
documentary lover, surprisingly.
I love to hear live music though I haven't had the budget for it in
a while. I'm open to learning about what's current but I tend to
rely on what I've known, friends who play or something with a great
beat. I go out dancing at least once a week. If I seek out music,
its usually part of an alternative music scene that mixes genres
and uses odd time signatures. I listen to a lot of different stuff
at home but I'm solidly a 70s child so CSNY, Zeppelin, Hendrix and
Joni Mitchell are always on my favorites list. Other than those, I
generally listen to classical, celtic, jazz, rock, reggae, or
electronic dance music depending on who I'm with and what we're
I'm not entirely a "foodie" but love going to nice restaurants,
especially trying something new in Oakland. If we go out on a first
date, I'll probably want to go somewhere with a good cocktail.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Ocean, Friends, Writing, Sex, Art, Dance
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I like the idea that we are always improving our lives and our
circumstances. I've worked on myself a lot and I'm grateful. But
there are always going to be places I want to go, to improve.
Relationships are one of those places. I like how when you get to
know someone new, you often learn something new about
I also spend a lot of time thinking about the responsible shit.
Making enough money to stay in the bay area, serving my community
to the best of my ability, taking out the garbage so you don't
attract vermin into the house, treating the people I love well and
not getting taken for a fool by the ones who aren't paying
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Taking a long walk in nature to help let go of the week. Most free
nights I go out for dinner with friends, see an art show or a
performance, cook at home, exercise, go out dancing, go on a date,
or just hang out alone entertaining myself.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to meet someone awesome!
You love my pictures, think the smart woman thing is a total bonus
and the curves look just right!
I'm generally looking for this: You think you're a cool guy, you
like yourself. You can write in full sentences and have a good
command of the written language in english. You have a creative,
intellectual, and emotional life. You have enough financial
security that you can pay for your own meals, get your car/bike
fixed, pay your rent, and go out a couple times a week. You are
looking for a fun, friendly, sexual connection with potential for
something deeper. You are not set on getting married or having more
kids. I'm looking for someone who is pleased with his own life and
who likes life in general, without a whole lot of struggle. I'm
also looking for a man who's made a conscious decision that he
wants to actually think about another person and treat her well.
I'm looking for someone who knows how to ask questions so that he
can learn about the person he's trying to get to know. Even if its
just a sexual thing, I have a low tolerance for lateness, flaking,
lying, and other crappy behavior. Human consideration, honesty and
bold communication are really important to me.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.