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44 Oakland, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 37–56
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 8:03am
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Graduated from masters program
Art / Music / Writing
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a loyal friend, I spend a lot of time at a job I love, I prioritize pleasure and honesty. I have a lot to give and love helping others. I'm culturally aware, thoughtful, silly, physically active, independent, loving, sweet, funny, scary smart, emotionally secure, and I like to meet new people. I'm also really psyched about who I am at this point in my life and looking for an equally confident partner.

I'm looking to meet someone IN PERSON who is relaxed, intelligent, culturally curious and sexually assertive. I've got room in my life for some new excitement that can last. I'm seeking out connection, attraction, and ease.

PLEASE I will not respond to messages coming from outside California.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have an excellent job, fabulous friends, and take advantage of the cultural and natural advantages of the Bay Area as much as I can. I'm a writer by profession and I love it. I work for a cultural institution and I believe my work is meaningful and helps advance people's lives. I dance and/or exercise nearly every day, eat well, take long drives by the ocean, sleep and generally maintain a healthy emotional life. I like to be active. I spend a lot of time with my friends who span a range of academics, activists, non profit professionals, artists, burners, parents, healthcare workers, techies, sex-positive educators, and other progressive professionals. I'm attracted to friends and lovers of different races and backgrounds. I'm most attracted to men who have an active professional and intellectual life.

In the past few years, I've dated multiple people simultaneously, but when I'm committed to someone special, I spend more time with that person than anyone else. I'm not at all insistent about being open, but I haven't been monogamous in years. The style of relationship I'm in really depends on who I'm dating and how well we communicate.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening and being thoughtful about what I'm hearing as well as giving honest feedback. Kissing. Editing other people's writing. Putting a beautiful home together. Critiquing art. Finding fun stuff to do with friends. Setting boundaries.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty damn engaging and my eyes sort of sparkle. Plus I've got great hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Right now I'm mostly reading fiction. I enjoyed the Hillary Mantel series about Thomas Cromwell and the Maddaddam trilogy by Margaret Atwood. I also really like Junot Diaz' book on the life of Oscar Wao. Now I'm reading Murakami. Sometimes I read the nonfiction on my shelf, but mostly they collect dust unless, of course, I'm on an extended vacation. I love to read. The award-winning movies I most liked last year were 12 Years a Slave and Dallas Buyers Club. This year, I wasn't that impressed but Selma was at the top. In general, I love watching films and often find action flicks very entertaining as long as there's no blatant misogyny. I'm not a documentary lover, surprisingly.

I love to hear live music though I haven't had the budget for it in a while. I'm open to learning about what's current but I tend to rely on what I've known, friends who play or something with a great beat. I go out dancing at least once a week. If I seek out music, its usually part of an alternative music scene that mixes genres and uses odd time signatures. I listen to a lot of different stuff at home but I'm solidly a 70s child so CSNY, Zeppelin, Hendrix and Joni Mitchell are always on my favorites list. Other than those, I generally listen to classical, celtic, jazz, rock, reggae, or electronic dance music depending on who I'm with and what we're doing.

I'm not entirely a "foodie" but love going to nice restaurants, especially trying something new in Oakland. If we go out on a first date, I'll probably want to go somewhere with a good cocktail.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Ocean, Friends, Writing, Sex, Art, Dance
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I like the idea that we are always improving our lives and our circumstances. I've worked on myself a lot and I'm grateful. But there are always going to be places I want to go, to improve. Relationships are one of those places. I like how when you get to know someone new, you often learn something new about yourself.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about the responsible shit. Making enough money to stay in the bay area, serving my community to the best of my ability, taking out the garbage so you don't attract vermin into the house, treating the people I love well and not getting taken for a fool by the ones who aren't paying attention.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Taking a long walk in nature to help let go of the week. Most free nights I go out for dinner with friends, see an art show or a performance, cook at home, exercise, go out dancing, go on a date, or just hang out alone entertaining myself.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to meet someone awesome!

You love my pictures, think the smart woman thing is a total bonus and the curves look just right!

I'm generally looking for this: You think you're a cool guy, you like yourself. You can write in full sentences and have a good command of the written language in english. You have a creative, intellectual, and emotional life. You have enough financial security that you can pay for your own meals, get your car/bike fixed, pay your rent, and go out a couple times a week. You are looking for a fun, friendly, sexual connection with potential for something deeper. You are not set on getting married or having more kids. I'm looking for someone who is pleased with his own life and who likes life in general, without a whole lot of struggle. I'm also looking for a man who's made a conscious decision that he wants to actually think about another person and treat her well. I'm looking for someone who knows how to ask questions so that he can learn about the person he's trying to get to know. Even if its just a sexual thing, I have a low tolerance for lateness, flaking, lying, and other crappy behavior. Human consideration, honesty and bold communication are really important to me.