When I am out running or hiking I sometimes spend so much time admiring the view that I forget to look up at what is right in front of me....unfortunately, it occurs to me that this might be a rather apt metaphor for how I live my life at times......

I don't know if I can ever have another dog......

I read last night that Freud said, "We must love or grow ill". What struck me about this statement was that he did not say "We must be loved," he stated, "We must love". I believe we often think that what we truly need and desire is someone to love us, care for us, and maybe even more importantly, understand and know us. But I agree with Freud, I would argue that the most primal need we have is to actually love. I know that as I have gotten older, my capacity to give great love, especially self-sacrificing love, the kind that exists without thought or need of return, has grown exponentially.And that is as it should be. Perhaps, as John Lennon said, "And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make".

I am sick of this taunting me every time I am on here.....add journal and get to whatever-the h*&&-percent....
so here is one of my all time favorite poems....
I KNOW the relentless milkman....sigh....all too well...

Living in Sin

She had thought the studio would keep itself;
no dust upon the furniture of love.
Half heresy, to wish the taps less vocal,
the panes relieved of grime. A plate of pears,
a piano with a Persian shawl, a cat
stalking the picturesque amusing mouse
had risen at his urging.
Not that at five each separate stair would writhe
under the milkman's tramp; that morning light
so coldly would delineate the scraps
of last night's cheese and three sepulchral bottles;
that on the kitchen shelf amoong the saucers
a pair of beetle-eyes would fix her own--
envoy from some village in the moldings...
Meanwhile, he, with a yawn,
sounded a dozen notes upon the keyboard,
declared it out of tune, shrugged at the mirror,
rubbed at his beard, went out for cigarettes;
while she, jeered by the minor demons,
pulled back the sheets and made the bed and found
a towel to dust the table-top,
and let the coffee-pot boil over on the stove.
By evening she was back in love again,
though not so wholly but throughout the night
she woke sometimes to feel the daylight coming
like a relentless milkman up the stairs.

Adrienne Rich

I read a quote today I loved..."Perhaps there is more understanding and beauty in life when the glaring sunlight is softened by the patterns of shadows. Perhaps there is more depth in a relationship that has weathered some storms. Experience that never dissapoints or saddens or stirs up feeling is a bland experience with little challenge or variation in color. Perhaps when we experience confidence and faith and hope that we see materialize before our eyes this builds within us a feeling of inner strength, courage and security...."
Very simplistic stating of the obvious, perhaps....but sometimes simple truths are the ones we most often lose track of....