Happily seeing someone amazing. Thanks okc.

(October revision) The longer I keep up with online dating, the more I've learned. I've learned that most guys want a scrawny modelesque, rocket scientist who would make a nice 50's housewife and inflate their male ego.

I am not her.

I've learned that the guys who say they don't want that ^^, really do but lie.

I've learned that saying I'm a work in progess means people expect me to a morbidly obese, emotional wreck who has 16 cats and no friends.

I am not her either.

I am real. I am a fabulous person. I have ups and downs. I have good days and bad. I get sentimentally attached to silly things. I like jeans and sweaters and comfortable shoes and sitting at home watching the Avengers on friday nights. I love going to the bookstore for coffee and book-buying. I am a ballet dancer who doesn't have a ballerina body. On sundays, I don't like change out of my pajamas. But on that same note, I have to get out of the house sometimes and just go DO something, even if it's just shop for groceries. I am real.

I've learned that people expect what my profile says to be a facade and that I'm really different. (untrue) I've been accused to unrealistic expectations because I ask for what I want, and I know that he's out there. I just haven't met him yet. I ask for someone kind and thoughtful, someone I can hold conversations with about anything, even about nothing at all. Someone who can readily admit they aren't perfect and laugh at their faults like I do mine. Someone who can be ok with my close relationship with my family, both nuclear and extended. Someone who can handle the drama life throws at you, because it will come with me. I'm not a drama queen, not at all, but I have my share of baggage and drama like most people and I'm not going to hide it away. Someone who likes long blond hair, small carny hands, a seemingly endless run of non-sensical observation which seems to be inspired by nothing at all. I really want to meet someone with whom I can cultivate a solid friendship and let things be organic. I want to take things slow. Like glacial-pace slow. Gotten this far? Impressive. Read on New Person.

I am what some consider an odd person. I did classical ballet growing up and then went home from class to play video games. I can be fine in a room full of people, chatting and telling stories or sitting in a corner reading a book, ignoring the world. I make lots of jokes, some funny, and can be very silly. I love my pets like furry kids. My bedroom consists of 3 things: bookshelves, a bed, and an easel. Oh, and dirty clothes.

Just realized: I only have a twitter account so that I can say things that aren't suitable for my Facebook friends and family. Because my twitter account is questionably inappropriate. #dirtytweets
#rudeobservations #bitchycomments

Right now, I'm just enjoying it. Working as a dance teacher. Love my job, love my students, but I make very little money at it. On a the search for a second job. Spending time with my family and friends. Looking for somone to spend my life with. Buying too many books. Playing with my dog. Just being me.

And since I have chronic insomnia, I'm not sleeping much. So I check this thing and write ppl at odd hours. It's not that I am without a life. It's that I am without sleep.

Making up words. Bad jokes. Reading books. Dancing. (I'm ok at painting) I'm great at being a friend. At telling my honest opinion, whether people want to hear it or not. I'm good at seeing both sides of certain arguments. I'm a decent cook, a great baker, and an amateur seamstress. I have a pretty decent memory for trivials but always forget birthdays. I'm really good at caring about my loved ones. And apparently I'm bad at sleeping.

My hair, my eyes, or my dorkiness. All three are pretty outstanding, in my book.

Books? Fantasy/Sci Fi. Classical Fiction. Getting into some contemporary fiction. Manga. Some Comics. Trivia. Entertainment weekly (don't judge) I enjoy reading about serial killers. Not looking for role models per se, but not limiting my options either.

Movies? Comedy. Classics. Science Fiction and Fantasy. Some horror. Anime.

Tv Shows? Warehouse 13, Grimm, Castle, Bones, Big Bang Theory, Once Upon a Time, Supernatural, Classic Doctor Who. Silly shows from the BBC that I grew up with. MST3K. Loved SGU, miss it passionately. Loved Firefly too. Stop canceling all the good tv plz. And more anime.

Music? Anything but rap and country. I grew up with classic rock. It's always going to be my favorite. Lots my favorite music is british- I have lots of friends who go across the pond and share their finds. I love instrumentals and musical soundtracks too.

Food? Anything vegetarian that isn't salad and isn't tasteless! I love breads, cheeses, vegetables and fruits, and junk food. And I LOVE to bake so I will make cookies, cakes, brownies, ice cream, all sorts of things that are bad for your thighs and good for your soul.

~BOOKS!! It's an addiction. I can't help it. There is no cure and I wouldn't want one anyway.
~A sense of humor. If I couldn't laugh at myself and my circumstances, I wouldn't get through the day.
~My family. This includes the family I choose. They made me who I am.
~Chocolate. It may be a female stereotype, but chocolate is important to happiness!!
~Comfortable shoes, jeans, and a sweater and then a LBD and high heels. The staple for any wardrobe. Any girls wardrobe anyway. I hope you don't have a LBD and stylettos. But I suppose I won't judge if you do. Just don't think about borrowing mine.

Just did some math. That was only five.... So number six would have to be a calculator I suppose.

The universe. My place in it. Or how I can budget things so that I can go out with friends for drinks and buy another book... or 10. And everything in between.

Lately? At home, watching a movie. Or reading. I don't mind doing these things but spending time with an interesting guy might be a nice change of pace.

Oh and not sleeping. Naturally.

I'm a rape survivor. My fiance dumped me a year ago and got married to the girl he cheated on me with 10 months later. Naturally, I'm still angry at the idea that I could be replaced so easily. My cousin committed suicide and I'm still angry with him.

These aren't things I feel easy talking about but they are real facts about me. I don't wear my pain all the time but these things have affected me in large ways. I will and can discuss them if asked but I don't mention it otherwise because it's not stuff that makes me proud. I mention them now because I feel like its information that a potential suitor deserves to know. You are, after all, dealing with what has been left behind by others. But I like to think I'm worth it.

Oh, and I'm not always right, even though I like to think I am.

You understand girls come in sizes other than size 2.
You won't make me watch sports every day.
You don't mind my hair getting everywhere- it's long. It gets everywhere.
You like real girls.

If you are honestly looking for a kind and decent soul to spend your time with.

If I messaged you first. I dont message people often so it means I really would like to talk to you. Please reply in some form, even if it is "No thanks" or even "leave me alone weird girl."