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27 M Saint Louis, MO

My Details

Last Online
Jul 4
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), Other (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Seems like everyone's first sentence is them trying to justify why they are on this site. I don't get that. You're here because it's 2013, and this is how you meet people now!

It's been brought to my attention that while I thought my last profile was really funny, it kinda seemed whiny. If you read it and you're a lameass. The cost of having a dry sense of humor, I guess.

What is E.T. short for?

Because he's got little legs.

I was a pro wrestler for 3 years, which explains the pictures of me in tights. Now I wear them to church on Sunday mornings. I would like to get back to wrestling in the next year.

I also spent some time DJing on my college radio station. That's interesting shit, right?

I'm a Libertarian and an Atheist. Which means I can piss off everybody!

I still own EVERY single book in the Animorphs series. Keeping my fingers crossed for a movie soon!

I watch too much news and read too many books.

I'm a grammar stickler.

I got my first (and so far, only) tattoo the day after Christmas.

I will hopefully show you music you've never heard before.

I've been to 49 states.

I'm funny to me!
What I’m doing with my life
Working right now to save up enough money to accomplish my three short term goals:

1. Get back into wrestling
2. Coach kids hockey
3. Do some freelance writing

My long-term goal is to be named Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World".
I’m really good at
-Super Smash Brothers
-Not being afraid to sing in public even though I suck at it
-Being funny to nobody else but myself
-Quoting The West Wing
-Getting by on my good looks (despite not looking that good)
-Pretending I know what I'm doing
-Being surly ("Surly" is a very underappreciated word)
The first things people usually notice about me
I look like I have a nefarious plan. Which is only true 32% of the time.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Oh boy....

Music: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, The Rolling Stones, The Black Keys, The White Stripes, The Decemberists, Johnny Cash, the Distillers, Spinnerette, The Clash, The Ramones

Shows: The West Wing, Californication, Community, Sports Night, Penn & Teller's Bullshit, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Chuck, Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld, Deadliest Warrior, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared

Movies: Grosse Pointe Blank, The Wrestler, High Fidelity, Charlie Wilson's War, The Social Network, Top Gun, The American President, Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Kick-Ass, Slap Shot, Tremors, A Clockwork Orange, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zizzou, The Royal Tennenbaums, A Mighty Wind, Transformers (1986 Animated), Almost Famous, Walk the Line, Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, Donnie Darko, Good Will Hunting, Away We Go, (500) Days of Summer, Young People Fucking

Books: Killing Lincoln, Declaration of Independents: How Libertarain Politics CAN FIX What's Wrong With America, God No!: Signs You May Already Be An Atheist, High Fidelity, God Hates Us All, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
These days I read mostly nonfiction. I'm always in the middle of at least one book, usually 3 or 4. Lots of autobiographies and lots of political books. People who don't read scare me.
Oh, and Calvin and Hobbes is always fantastic.
I also still own every book in the Animorphs series. Fuck yes.

I just finished all 3 books in the Hunger Games trilogy. Send me a message and we'll talk about 'em.
The six things I could never do without
1. My leather jacket
2. My West Wing DVD sets
3. Bandanas & Belt buckles (Is it cheating to count those as one? Probably.)
4. Free Markets & Capitalism
5. My thick skin & sense of humor
6. A creative outlet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
All the places I wish someone would pay me to perform at. And how I can make that happen.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working, exercising, or watching TV at home. I used to be a partier, but that's pretty much behind me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm a straight guy who's seen every episode of Sex & the City.

I like Spider-Man 3 and I will fight you if you don't.

There's not much I'm not willing to admit. I'm shameless.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–27
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
I'm bad luck, so you probably shouldn't unless you're brave.

Oh, and if you're a girl who wears glasses, you absolutely should. Glasses are amazing.

Or if you're a girl who gives good backrubs. A life of wrestling and hockey has turned my back and neck into shambles and I need them pretty often.

DO NOT MESSAGE ME if you say "could care less" instead of "couldn't care less". And don't know the difference between "your" and "you're".