20ish pseudo intellectual, self sanctifying sense of humour.
I don't know, what's that line in that The Verve song...
As ever with these sorts of things I don't know what to write. I
believe I am a decent human being, somewhat jaded, but on the whole
a good egg.
What I’m doing with my life
Decaying, which is to say doing the things I enjoy (when I actually
enjoy them, which unfortunately isn't always), those things are
nothing astounding. I paint, I write, I pretend I have some sort of
importance when all the while I think about how futile it all is
and if there's anything I could do that would make a difference in
I’m really good at
Self loathing, baking, convincing myself not to study, pretending
to be a Mossad agent and waffling on like I know what I'm talking
I have various skills and talents that I employ on occasion.
Basically I'm probs alright at most things.
I'm good at banter and erroneous conversations, so if you ever want
to discuss the moral implications of the British bake off, I'm your
The first things people usually notice about me
You'd have to ask them, half of my body is in the ionosphere. It's a bit inconvenient, but on the plus side I don't have any trouble with shelves (yes I am aware this joke doesn't actually make sense, nobody has shelves at 1,000 km in feet, I'm not a mad man, you don't have to have me committed, crisis averted).
Physical trait wise... I have a mostly symmetric face and eyes that are blue. That doesn't stop me looking like spam after it's come out of an dietitian's arsehole though (I have been informed that this is a poor metaphor as it is unlikely that a dietician would eat spam).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Oh fuck this noise, just ask or something.
Things that are not shit for $600 please.
The six things I could never do without
28 of 65 episodes of Brum recorded onto a stolen collection of
Countdown VHS tapes dated between 1994 and 2002.
A wig once owned by the tour manager of the failed Northampton
nightclub act "Fister Sledge".
A collection of shiney pokemon cards.
The Welsh parliamentary body.
The right to exchange bodily fluids via the postal service.
The foreskin of the twin I absorbed in the womb, I wear it as a
Or in reality:
The desire to love and be loved (yes I am a sappy sod)
Vegetables and seafood (which are the prime components of my
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I can actually become King Diamond.
Far far far too many topics to even broach, throw me a line would
On a typical Friday night I am
Asleep, reading, painting, getting my groove on, time travelling, the mad complexity of the world mankind has built both around itself and entirely in it's own head.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've got a collection of Peter Sutcliffe's pubic hair.
I am not quite as mental as this dumb as shit profile might
You should message me if
You don't mind that during sexual congress I am likely to recite
the bill of rights in a rolling impression of all the cast members
of On The Buses.
You know where I can find the second skull of Touganda is located
and are willing to help me recover it.
You're an intellectual scatterbrained wunderkin and you fancy my
oddly shaped head and confused prose.