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32 M Tualatin, OR

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:36pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Atheism, and laughing about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Working on university
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Okay)

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My self-summary
Here is how I initially responded to this prompt:

"Yeah, so I am going to save responding to this prompt for last. You have (as if you needed it) my permission to think what you like about the degree to which I'm already summarized by having made that decision."

I want to add a little bit to that now. This is the first profile I have ever made on anything like a "dating" site. My first impulse is to be mega-thorough and make an opus that represents every minute, sexy little crevice of my being. I am a person who could tippy-type feverishly for hours about pretty well anything, even if I just decided 10 minutes ago that it interests me, but Imma flex my willpower and NOT do that on these "About" essays. It's all silly stuff that I'd much rather chat with you about in a setting that's just uncomfortable enough to make it fun. You know, like, in a cafe. While assisting with childbirth. Because we just stole the new mother's car. I mean, why didn't she say anything?? I didn't see her back there, did you?

Recently, I am having fun with this site by adding the phrase "while having sex?" to the ends of match questions. It was inspired by "Stereo on while having sex?"
Do you believe that the global flood (Noah's Ark) actually happened while having sex?

Lastly, my education about, and deconstruction of, patriarchy, gender, class, and race has 1)sent me spiraling into a chronic identity/anxiety crisis spanning more than 5 years so far, and 2) improved my fucking skills.
This means that, as my partner, one probably must be willing to openly/patiently discuss their desires with me (and their philosophies that do or don't line up with them), and also slap on a strapon and pound me with it. Not both at the same time, though. Unless you wanna... I'll try anything once?
What I’m doing with my life
I am rebuilding it.
The good news is that this means I am doing a thing with my life- as opposed to my life doing things with/to me.
Yes, now that I have typed it out, I do see that the previous sentence looks like I found it on a flyer advertising a 12-step program group that meets in the basement of a church. Really, though, I just came up with it so maybe I should be creating flyers. Also, it's true. Right now it's the start of summer 2013. 2012 was hands down the worst year of my life, and 2013 is shaping up to be the toughest.
I am on a mission, and it is one that honestly leaves very little time for you, the prospective buddy/date/hookup/phishing algorithm that's currently reading this. Also, full disclosure: technically I am married. Technically. Please, ask away if you want to; I'll tell you everything. Most important detail put as concisely as possible: she came out lesbian and moved out of our house 18mo ago. I still miss her like crazy sometimes and hate her some other times, but obviously I have decided to make life keep happening. We are separated and will not be getting back together; she is 100% gone as a partner, but of course is still relevant as the other parent of my wonderful child. If you're good with that, then by all means drop me a line. Even phishing bots need love sometimes.
I’m really good at
rattling off lists of things that I used to be really good at but haven't practiced in a while. Oh, wait, grammar! I actually am wicked good at English grammar. Thanks, Sallie Mae, for making that possible!

Also, the things that Boy Scouts can do. Yep, I am an Eagle scout. I wrote a letter, but then made the *extremely difficult* decision NOT to send it to the National Council along with my pin and other Eagle Scout accoutrements when they decided that gay kids could not be scouts, and again when they decided they could, but gay adults couldn't be leaders. There is one, and only one, reason for this: I was not the only person involved in reaching that rank. Friends, who could not be reached for their consent in a timely manner, made that possible, including my insane fundamentalist parents- I was a kid at the time. The badge belongs to them, not to me, and CERTAINLY not to that committee. I hope that this tells you something about how I roll. Life is a punk ass bitch sometimes and being an idealist hurts. If you follow the path far enough, the "logical end" of every ideology is death. Death= the logical end. You. Are going... to die. WHEEEE!
The first things people usually notice about me
People notice right away that I am interested in things. Also, that I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm. An actual worm.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My degree is in English. You don't want me to go down the book rabbit hole here. The novel I have found to be the most re-readable so far is Moby Dick. Weirdly I never took a college class with it on the syllabus; but maybe that fact plays a big role in my loving it so much. I also wish I had read Catch 22 much earlier in life than I did. Ever since I did read it four years ago, it has reminded me that I am not alone and kept me calm in the face of several absurd and evil situations. That's all you get here on books. My favorite film is Joe vs The Volcano. No, I do not like any of the other films where they put Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in a mason jar together with air holes and then start poking/shaking the jar. I'm nerdy about Hitchcock, and I love Kubrick but who doesn't? I like really clever documentaries. Werner Herzog is both engrossing and totally fucking hilarious.
In the last couple of years, AMC has shown me that television can be pretty cool. Unrelated to that but possibly important: I have watched all of Battlestar Galactica. It is neat, but the last season suddenly turned insipid and the last few episodes left me feeling angry and insulted. Because of this, I hold it at arm's length.

I like food that educates me, and would like to experience that more often than I do. I only do meat when it's something really awesome. I wish I could say otherwise, but I should admit that 6 days a week, food is mostly utilitarian for me. It keeps me strong for other things and does not get much direct attention from me as a part of life that wants to be enjoyed in and of itself. Having said that, once in a while on a special day when I do hand the microphone to food, I appreciate it as one of the art forms that is just naturally very accessible to me. Inspirational, even. I have mad respect for a good chef, and I treasure the couple of experiences I've had that involved dropping nearly a whole paycheck on a meal and getting to talk to the chef a bit afterward. i.e.: Willows Inn on Lummi Island. If I really really want to have nasty sex with you and can't find any other way to make it happen, in lieu of entering the dreaded "friend zone" I might spend $700 on us at Willows. That would be very irresponsible of me, considering that $700 was the price I paid for the car I currently drive, but life is happening right now, right?

I said I was not gonna talk about books but then I did. I really do refuse to talk about music here. Message me, or go out to a bar or on a hike and start a music convo with me, and I will quackitty quack about tunes until you start visualizing all the different ways you might murder me and get away with it!
The six things I could never do without
Hope, a little bit of fear, and stimulants. Watch me make everything else.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My incredibly clever, beautiful, and FUNNY 2.5 year old daughter.

And armadillos. Why are they?

And here's one on behalf of my little girl: there's Brown in a rainbow, right?? brown? What about when it's Double?
On a typical Friday night I am
furiously carving scores of complicated little objects from blocks of aluminum and steel, using awesome robotic machines at my job. I'm a machinist!
Most of my days off are weekdays. I just moved back to Portland(ish)- to stay this time- in April (2013) after some time in Texas, and I spend my free nights by myself designing motorcycle bits on my computer, reading, or sleeping because I have not made any friends yet! Let's remedy that, shall we?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not actually sure I am bisexual. I'm... intellectually open to the possibility. I've never had a same-sex encounter. In fact, I have only had sex with two different people in my whole life, both very long term, both women. What the blazes got into me?! As of today, I am done fucking around; it is time to start fucking around!
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You have a pulse. No zombies.
Really, though, I cannot imagine anyone contacting me whom I would not find valuable, exciting, and worthy of a response. I mean, I work 60-65 hours most weeks and have to sleep 8 hours a night, so I'm keenly aware that no one is more boring than myself!
Caveat time: if deep down what you are really hoping for, regardless of what you tell your profile/friends/self, is a long term partner, then for me you'd have to be the sort of person who is likely to fall head over heels for my 2.5 y/o little girl way before deciding whether you give a damn about me or not. If you have a child around this age already, that is even better. Again, though, that only applies to the mentioned subset of individuals.