Also: be clear that when you criticize a racist fruit, that you are talking very specifically about the fleshy seed-bearing structures of plants. Otherwise you come off sounding a little bigoted.
…I am a rotten liar. Which is to say: I’m lousy at lying. Incidentally, I suspect that this is probably why I am single. That and because I regularly behave like this profile reads in real life.
I have received a lot of messages from people who thought that my profile was entertaining. And I appreciate the feedback and attention. Admittedly, I have not had time to respond to all of them because I am the kind of hardworking, blue collar, real American, Randian Objectivist that your Dad always kind of hoped would offer livestock and land in exchange for your hand in marriage. So, I thought I would respond here. This is really a two birds with one stone maneuver: my profile was several years out of date and in dreadful need of updating, and these ladies (and gentleman) deserve recognition for the time they spent reading my profile and sending me messages. To make things more interesting, I have deleted the profile that they are commenting on so that their words (and maybe a few self-referential quotations) are the only record of its existence. I suspect that these women (and gentleman) will either appreciate their role in this public art project, or see it for what it is: a warning to transgressors. That is to say, heads on pikes.