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23 F Glenside, PA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 11
White, Other
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
I like string and lip balm, and I get really happy when I see loose change and when I hear The Safety Dance on the radio. I knit like a sailor and make ridiculous Italian pasta dishes. I rarely share.

I'd rather spend a night staying in, eating candy, and having unhinged conversations with someone cool instead of going out, getting shitfaced, and peeing on mailboxes. And I admire people who invent their own somewhat psychotic versions of small talk.

I enjoy talking about things I hate just as much as things I love.

I'm in a relationship with a wonderful guy, so I'm just in the market for good buddies of any gender- cool, genuine people who make decent coffee, very rarely use texting acronyms, and are comfortably introverted. Maybe with some sort of adhesive element of their subconscious slightly loose. If things work out I will buy you a bag of Skittles and shake your hand.

I kind of have a thing for redheads but I'm trying to avoid them cause they keep stealing my DVDs. Points for anyone who can get back my copy of Muppet Treasure Island. I think it's somewhere in Phoenixville.

If you think in a pirate voice when you're angry, we're probably kindred spirits.

I enjoy bed in general.

Roller coasters are pretty sweet too.
What I’m doing with my life
Diving for change in couch cushions.

Inching toward a psychology degree online. Super cushy.

Reading odd books.

Unraveling things and making them into new things.

Incognito suburb exploration. Ugh.

Chilling with my dog. He is the Lassie to my Timmy. Though I remain unconvinced that he would spring into action if I fell down a storm drain.

Shopping at thrift stores with my shades on.

Trying to turn shyness into a superpower.
I’m really good at
Knitting and sarcasm. Coffee maker-whispering. Standing on one foot. Dusting. Finding cool stuff on the ground. Climbing swingsets and large rocks. Balancing a broom on one finger. Not playing any instrument. Hiding. Involuntarily memorizing zillions of movie quotes. Driving with animals in the car. Late blooming.

And if you haven't noticed, I'm a fucking windbag when I'm typing.
The first things people usually notice about me
The bewildered expression, I imagine.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: John Irving, the ever-chiched Vonnegut & Salinger, Roddy Doyle, Tennessee Williams, Nabokov, Caopte, the occasional Poe story (Hop-Frog is brilliant. Midgets, booze, and fire.), violent fairy tales, & anything I've ever read or not read by Roald Dahl.

Movies: Wes Anderson's handiwork, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Unconscious, Little Miss Sunshine, The Devil's Backbone, Pan's Labyrinth, Amelie, Pulp Fiction, Blazing Saddles, Life of Brian, Heathers, Leon the Professional, Sleepy Hollow, Billy Elliot, Kill Bill, The Commitments, Despicable Me, Up, Addams Family Values, Mystery Men, Blues Brothers, The Big Lebowski, Young Frankenstein, Raising Arizona, O Brother, A Goofy Movie, Shaun of the Dead, Rango, Penelope, Fight Club, The Sandlot, The Producers, Clerks/Clerks II, Trading Places... pretty much anything I can salvage a quote from.

Nathan Lane's voice never fails to cheer me up.

TV: Simpsons, Venture Brothers, Boondocks, Futurama, Pepper Ann, King of the Hill, The Amazing World of Gumball, Arrested Development, MST3K, the Adventures of Pete and Pete, and any serial killer documentary on the Discovery Channel.

Laugh tracks are my least favorite thing in the universe. I don't care how good a show might seem to the sheep who fall victim to the Pavlovian effect of hearing other people shit their pants with sleazy mirth while watching the bumbling dickholes who sign up to act on those things. I have illogical burning hatred for them. Sue me.

My nonsensical musical taste:
White Stripes
Franz Ferdinand
Raconteurs (anything that Jack White breathes on, really)
Janis Joplin
The Presidents of the United States of America
The Who
Ok Go
Mighty Mighty Bosstones
The Kills
Dropkick Murphys
Flogging Molly
Scissor Sisters
Talking Heads (my favorite band in 2nd grade, for some reason)
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem
Weird Al on bad days

Opera is crazy and fascinating, though I cannot sing.

Food: Terrible, terrible things.
The six things I could never do without
Music, sleep, trees, ink, carbs. Number six is a wildcard. Maybe Scottish accents or potatoes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Calvin & Hobbes philosophy. Broken headphones. Made-up sports. Jungle gyms. Very long words. Hedgehogs. Where the hell my contact lens case is. Looting thrift stores for cheap books and shoes. Coffee with so much sugar it tastes like frosting. Bringing the garter back into the fashion mainstream. And a lot of Simpsons quotes end up in there too.

Not to mention the term "curvy." A perfectly good adjective for the hourglass female body, schemingly ruined by cruddo teen slag mags attaching it to chubbulent girls. I'm taking it back; just wait.
On a typical Friday night I am
avoiding herds, staying cozy, or (if the weather permits) running around outside with a good person or two.

I like child-free playgrounds in the middle of the night, but my local ones are swarming with delinquent 8th graders after dark. If there are any decent ones in the area I'm open to suggestions.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a neurological disorder called misophonia, which causes a lot of typical everyday sounds to be uncomfortably loud or unpleasant to me. Thus, I don't really go for bars or crowded restaurants, and prefer eating outside like a hobo and drinking bourbon out of a teacup at home like a crazy person. I prefer to chill in nature, or stay somewhere quiet and watch cartoons really loud. Music is the only thing I enjoy at virtually any volume. To symbolize the disorder, I recently got a tattoo of earmuffs.

Also, I'm the only one in my family who can do a cryptogram and this profile is way too long.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
you're kinda ashamed of how much you know about The Simpsons, and if you just made too many tacos to eat by yourself.