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35 New York, NY Cis Woman

Cis Woman

I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 24–48
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 2:59pm
Bisexual, Queer, Sapiosexual
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body type
Strictly vegetarian
Not at all
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from masters program
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and dislikes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), C++ (Poorly), Hebrew (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Bisexual queer heteroromantic non-monogamous kinky submissive top/bottom-switch (yes, I top, but no, I will not dominate you!) good girl pain slut sex geek who moved to NYC a year ago after more than 10 years living in Boston. I enjoy long walks in Central Park with my dog, blues and fusion partner dancing, and teaching sex workshops at conventions and sex shops around the world. I'm into connecting socially one-on-one for emotionally intimate conversations, Netflix, and snuggles with sex geeks, platonic friends, friends with benefits, and romantic partners.

The heavy emphasis on things related to sex in the above paragraph does NOT mean I'm on this website looking for casual sex. I'm primarily looking for social and emotional connections with people who understand me and don't think I'm an alien from another planet who they want to have sex with. I'm only potentially interested in casual sex if you have abs of steel and are sexually dominant. Regardless, I will not set up a threesome for you or fuck you with a strap-on.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a sexological bodyworker (just google it)/ sex coach / sex educator. My long term career goal is to be a sex guru, along the lines of Tristan Taormino, Carol Queen, or Betty Dodson. For me, sex is a lifestyle, a career, and a research topic, not just a physical act. If this is novel to you, we probably won't get along well.

I also work in Healthcare IT. It's....not horrible. It's only for another year or two before I resume full time with the sex coaching work.

I'm probably too old to put this on my profile, but some people seem to find it amusing that my life path has included things like degrees from MIT and the London School of Economics.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Connecting with people rapidly. I'm pretty intense and a bit over the top, so people tend to react strongly to me one way or another.

Leaving awkward voicemail messages, usually ending in "so, um, yeah, that's it. Bye."

Sex. Not just having it, but talking about it, teaching about it, studying it, making other people feel comfortable talking about it, and counseling about it. I am definitely a sex geek but still able to be present in the moment.

Being naked. Unrelated to sex. I don't like wearing clothing when I am not required by law to do so.

Hugs. I love hugging and have been told my hugs make people feel safe, although that is probably biased because if my hugs made someone feel icky or weird, they would probably run away instead of sticking around to tell me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My huge grin and dimple.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: I'm a vegetarian who doesn't like mushrooms, olives, pickles, or lettuce.

Authors: Neal Stephenson, Neil Gaiman (comics and novels), Philip K. Dick, Paolo Coelho, Ann Bannon, Nick Hornby, Tristan Taormino, Alistair Reynolds, Pat Califa, Poppy Z. Brite, Terry Pratchett, Laura Antoniou
Specific Books: Anal Pleasure & Health, Pomosexuals, Family Jewels, Opening Up
Genres: Is "snarky and/or dystopic slice of life, be it fiction or (auto-)biography, set in a city I've lived in but preferably London" considered a book genre?

Movies: Big Lebowski, Princess Bride, Preaching to the Perverted, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Monty Python's Holy Grail, Better Off Dead, Hackers, Out of Sight, Zoolander

Music: ska (all waves but, within the third wave, trad only), rocksteady, skinhead reggae, early punk, instrumental surf, and bands such as: Velvet Underground, Pixies, Slackers, Pressure Cooker, Flaming Lips, Amon Tobin, World Inferno/Friendship Society, The Jam, The Buzzcocks

TV: I watch a lot, especially fictional procedural crime shows while going to bed, but no reality tv. As for what I really enjoy, insert shows popular with geeks here, including, for example, Buffy, Firefly, Lost Girl, Doctor Who, and Farscape but not Star Trek. I also gravitate towards SyFy and USA original series, or similarly straight-faced self-aware cheese like Arrow and Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. Also love Scandal, Black Mirror, & House of Lies
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my dog
disposable black latex exam gloves
a Hitachi or equivalently strong vibrator
purple (the color)
mindfulness / somatic awareness
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Sex, sexual dynamics, relationship dynamics, gender and gender expression, BDSM related dynamics, the use of breath in relation to sex .... notice a trend here? I'm not always horny, but my interest and thoughts include considerations of the broader context in which sex and sexuality manifest.

My career as a sex educator and coach. Making progress on my DVDs, books, youtube channel, websites, and building my private practice.

My puppy! Cypress is a 4 year old pitbull-weimaramer mix who is so insanely sweet and affectionate...and has a crazy amount of energy. We spend a lot of time walking around Central Park.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Blues dancing, walking and snuggling with my dog, watching cheesy tv, diddling around online, or going to a fetish/bdsm/sex convention at which I'm teaching workshops.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Not very private, but I really miss being a full-time sex worker, which I did for several years up until I moved to NYC.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
* You are genuine and emotionally available. If you are in one or more relationships, all partners know that the relationships are open (and the true nature of your other relationships). You (and your partners) are good at communicating feelings and expectations without requiring people in relationships with you to guess what is going on with you. "Using your words" is sexy.

* You think that coming over to my place, walking my dog with me in Central Park, ordering dinner in, snuggling up on the couch watching a movie or tv show, having rough sex, connecting emotionally, playing with the puppy, and sleeping, not necessarily in that order, sounds like an ideal basis for a relationship and doesn't bore you. If you need or want a girlfriend up for going to vanilla/generic bars and clubs, that's not me. That said, if you want to take me rock climbing, social partner dancing, skiing, to yoga class, or out to a social gathering that doesn't revolve around alcohol (or events that are at bars but entertaining even if you're sober), I would enjoy that too.

* You are not turned off by chicks "with meat on their bones." I love my body, am a bit of a nudist, and was in Juggs magazine in the Feb 2009 issue, but I am not thin. If I were full-on fat, I would embrace it, but my current physique would also be a disappointment to chubby chasers.

* You would honestly consider a long term open relationship with a slutty woman and revel in her sluttiness instead of expecting her to change (Saying she can be as big of a slut as she wants with women only does not qualify!).

* You're local to me. I'm not big on traveling beyond the 5 boroughs and Westchester for dates.

* You bring something to the table and think you can push my limits in some way instead of strictly being interested in the ways in which I would push yours. I'm not interested in helping you "take a walk on the wild-side" or "explore."

* You understand that I teach sex on a professional basis only....and I'm not on this website looking for clients.

* You are not looking for someone to merge your life with but are looking to emotionally connect with someone. Becoming an insular couple-unit-pod is a relationship model that does not appeal to me, but I would like to have emotionally intimate connections with partners who value their independence.

* You're kink-friendly and/or sexually open-minded. My name on FetLife is BiDyke...what's yours?