Feel free to skip to the "you should message me if" section now. : )
****And now, War and Peace***
SEE WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING ABOUT BITTER JESTER'S PROFILE! Please note: the following excerpts were all taken from unsolicited emails (as opposed to responses).
"I experienced good puzzlement over a wandering, quirky, and literate profile."
"You are manic and probably talk too fast in person."
"Your profile is hilarious!"
"As for your profile length, I'm sure most would enjoy listening but few to none would REALLY enjoy listening. Get it?"
"I haven't laughed through a profile like this in forever! If even ever."
"I showed your profile to my friend and he said you live with your mother."
And the most recent:
"You lack humility. There isn't anything that's redeeming (tongue-in-cheek or self-deprecating) or counterbalances the pretentiousness. You just come across as extremely arrogant and that's not impressive, or interesting, in the slightest. Your profile contained many errors as well."
"Fuck em. I loved your profile."
Now read the profile everyone's raving about!
I'm interested in finding kind-hearted souls with two parts positivity and one-point-seven parts cynicism. Bonus points for those currently in, who have experience with, or are open to open relationships.
My schedule is crazy and many people have difficulty with that. I don't follow convention in terms of a "normal" lifestyle. I live and work weird hours and don't sleep on a regular schedule. I'm usually up working (or taking a break from working) at 2 or 3 am; that's just me. : ) I volunteer with/for various causes/people/organizations constantly (to a fault, at times) and am definitely a "glass-half-full-but-it-has-a-leak" kinda guy. I love problem-solving and think life wouldn't be worth living if there weren't any kerfuffles to tackle. I also think kerfuffles need to be a pastry.
AND I LOVE THE MUPPETS!! I mean come ON, people!! They were so God damn ahead of their time. Jim Henson was a god among men among feltskins.
I own my own business and absolutely adore what I do. I'm liberal-minded, pro-gay, anti-jerk, and it usually takes a lot to get my feathers ruffled. But I'm also fiercely loyal and will fight for the people around me and tear you down if I see you picking on someone else. I also like to pick on people. I'M A CONUNDRUM!! I love animals of all shapes and sizes, probably won't ever have kids (though I'm certainly not opposed), and if I HAD to choose between losing my eyesight or my hearing I'd lose my vision in a minute. It would suck, don't get me wrong. But it's really a no-contest, imo. I'm always amazed at how much turmoil this creates in others.
I'm an extroverted introvert who enjoys making up crazy and fantastical backstories about random people walking down the street. I like me my British comedy and love science fiction and fantasy. "Pure Nerd" according to OKC.
For the record: While I am currently single, I am also ethically non-monogamous and will very likely remain that way. So what does that mean? In short, it means that I am into open communication and am willing and able to explore new and meaningful relationships (emotional and physical) while not losing sight of current ones. It also means (in my case) that I adore the word "compersion" and experience it with partners with whom I have open and frank conversations. What doesn't it mean? It doesn't mean I'm looking for random, meaningless, or insubstantial encounters or hook-ups with others – quite the contrary. And I'm happy to discuss any/all of this if you find it puzzling or exciting. Monogamy is beautiful. So are tigers. I like tigers. But I don't want one in my bed. :)
I don't believe being "open" is any better or worse than any other type of relationship or sexual lifestyle or identity. I do, however, know that it is perfectly right for me. Simply put: it is who I am.