Smarts > Hots
TL;DR - I have a full-time job (that I love), a car (that I like as a friend), don't live with my parents / grandparents / cult, have all of my teeth (and hair, even in places that hair should never be!), haven't murdered anyone recently, thinks life is hilarious, doesn't take himself too seriously (not nearly as seriously as a giant, bold TL;DR would seem to indicate, at least), and enjoy long walks through post-apocalyptic, radioactive, zombie-infested wastelands. I'm a nice guy (albeit easily excitable when it comes to meeting new people... I'm not very good at subtlety), I'm kind to strangers, little kids, and people who might need that crumpled dollar bill in my pocket / wallet / fanny pack (no, not really... can you imagine?) more than I do, andddddddd I tip well.
Also, I'm probably smarter than your last boyfriend.
I'm looking for a girl / woman / female / lady who is a smart cookie that likes to "bore me with the details" of whatever topic(s) she knows a bit (or even a lot!) about, tries her best at whatever she puts her mind to, has a healthy streak of cynicism -- given to her by the curve balls that life throws at / to us on occasion, perhaps -- (which tends to also give us a strong sense of humor and self, natch), who likes to laugh and be made to laugh, both together and apart, prone to ridiculous flights of fake mustache wearing, and who puts her whole heart and mind into things... The sort of girl that leaves me wishing I could be next to her, even when I'm at work for 11-12 hours at a stretch, and vice-versa. Above all else, kindness goes a long, long way with me.
You've got quirks and idiosyncrasies, and so do I, so let's smoosh 'em together and make something amazing happen.
P.S. Owning (or at least a love for) a Husky would be super awesome, as would being familiar with / curious about / eager to try out Cards Against Humanity, but now I'm just being picky.
P.P.S. ...Please enjoy Walking Dead and/or Game of Thrones, because I don't want to be "that guy" watching them all on his own every Sunday night!
P.P.P.S. Is there a record for the longest "TL;DR" ever, you think...?
Well, Okcupid, we meet again... Slightly more thoughtful than before and a little better off (and only somewhat weary), I suppose.
And... As a wise man once said: "Sorry I'm not better lookin'."
Words to live by:
"The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody." -- Kurt Vonnegut
"Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade's gonna suck." -- The World According to Facebook
"You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus." -- Bartleby, Dogma
"You're an island of reality in an ocean of diarrhea. " -- Jason Mraz, Details In The Fabric
"She got a big booty, so I call her big booty." -- 2 Chainz, Birthday Song
And more recently...
"There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -- Leonard Cohen, Anthem
There's a reason some animals eat their young, you know.
I am left-handed and right-brained. Like bear.
I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi...
No, wait, that's not right. I was born on a snowy April Fool's Day in 1982.
I am not simple, but I am not "deep and mysterious". Being complex and pretentious solely for the sake of it is pointless and frustrating for everyone involved.
I've lived quite a life thus far (and maybe you have, too, dear reader), and either you'll want to hear about it, or you won't. No harm, no foul, either way. I would certainly love to hear about yours, for what it's worth.
I don't hold grudges and resentments about the less-than-perfect things, though, and I won't make anyone jump through hoops just to hear a story or two.
I certainly hang on to the good parts (and good people, too), though, for as long as I can... Don't go thinkin' it's all doom and gloom around here!
I am not nearly as somber as this profile probably makes me out to be, heh.
I was raised to act a certain way, and treat people around me with a measure of respect and kindness, even if I don't know them from Adam (or Eve, I suppose, in this case...).
A girl with a clever mind, a warm smile and a kind heart is pretty much my Kryptonite.
I call if I say that I'm going to, I write if I say that I'm going to, and I'll be there (wherever "there" happens to be) if I say that I'm going to be.
And if I write, well, I hope you like to read.
I am a dreamer, a thinker of large and lumbering thoughts, fair and balanced (nothing like Fox News, luckily. My apologies to any hardcore, dyed-in-the-wool Republicans reading this), easy like Sunday morning when you get to know me, and a hopeful romantic, I guess you could say.
I am also a habitual profile stalker... Sigh. Not in a creepy, "I wonder what you'd look like without your skin." sort of way, but of the picking out of small details and "What do I say besides just simply 'Hello'?" variety.
So... Hi, I'm Michael.
I am bacon, bacon, and more bacon!