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27 Sacramento, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-55
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 5:39am
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
6' 2" (1.88m)
Body Type
Full figured
Not at all
Atheism and it’s important
Dropped out of Two-year college
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
About me?
I've tried to join the ninja turtles 6 times. They keep kicking me out because I'm not a fucking turtle.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm here to meet people, not have an existential breakdown okcupid, take it easy.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I can cook but I'm afraid I'm more of a trophy bride, I can look good on your arm and rock that "we are totally hipsters, but I'll admit it" Party-flannel (mini man-bun optional)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That my face is eerily similar to the Wanted sign for Carlos the Snake.
There's a 50 dollar reward, that's enough to own a saloon apparently.

...I'm not allowed in Texas for this reason.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a lot of historical biographies, cook books, and a lot of fiction.
I'm currently outlining a book of my own, but it may never get finished. I'm fine with ending my mid life crisis in 20 years by accepting I'll never finish this book.
Books are important....
Don't fuck people who don't own books.

Devil's Rejects
You're Next
Friday the 13th
It Follows
Mad Max
SCENIC ROUTE (This movie is amazing. Josh Duhamel is there in his handsome glory)
I like horror movies.


I love passionate music. Usually towards the extreme spectrums.
You can usually find me at a live show.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-American Sign Language
-My Dog
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I really want to build a Viking long ship.
By hand.
Like the manliest coffin.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Planning to take over the world with my pal Pinky.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This is where I exaggerate the size of my penis but real subtle isn't it?

Hey internet strangers, it's 20 inches, made of gold and I ejaculate cinnabon icing.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Do you need a reason? I'm not gonna attack you.

You are a fan of bbq, beards, vikings or metal.

My kik is LawlessWarlord

My number is 916 239 9907. Text me.