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BlackXRed

53 M Harrisonburg, VA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 35–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Jun 5
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Native American, White, Other
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Job
Education
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
4/11/2013 update: This is all kinda old. Haven't updated in quite some time. Right now largely working on regaining my self-confidence after some emotionally rough times that sucked the wind out of my sails (to mix metaphors :) ). _R_

I'm a warm, wide-open (perhaps less than I think I am) person and a perpetual optimist--often to my detriment. Very visually-oriented and a bit distractable, I'm one of those people who get captured by the play of shadow on a wall, intertwining vines crawling up a tree, etc. Unsurprisingly, I'm mainly an artist in the non-work world and my daughter seems to have picked up on that. She draws more than I ever did at that age. Ask me for a link to a web page of my art (mainly oils and pastels) if interested. I'm also very into music (playing and listening), sometimes play too many video games with my kids, and enjoy most outdoor activities (camping, canoeing/kayaking, biking, hiking, etc.). I also tend to have serial passionate hobbies where I immerse myself in a subject until I reach at least a level of competence.

I am artistic, eclectic, and loving
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
The past eight years or so has been a time of major change for me. Most of it has been a time of growth--some of which was much-needed--but at times I wonder how often pain is a necessary ingredient for growth. I hate to think so but it feels like it at times. In the process of all this I'm figuring out some things that are very important to me in relationships: honesty, openness, kindness, respect, trust, ability to commit (if relevant), connection, balance, and, most importantly to make it all work, communication. I know what I want in the long run but I'm still figuring out the short-term.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Art, looking at things from a unique angle, and cuddling,... :)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'd think it might be my (green) eyes or that I smile or laugh easily--which doesn't come across in posed photos--but I don't really know. I'll have to ask.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I mainly read science fiction for fun and history for serious. But, at any given time, i could be reading anything. I was called "Bookworm" as much as my given name when I was little. I listen to most types of music--except for what passes for R&B these days--but lately have been listening to Apocalyptica a lot (4 Finnish cellists playing metal covers). I play guitar and bass and, to a lesser degree, keys and drums. Recently my 14-year [now 16] old son came down and jammed with my band. It was neat seeing the groove finally kick in--you could almost see the light turn on. [Band broke up since I wrote that and I'm now looking for another interactive musical outlet again.] I love almost all Asian foods (and foods from many other cultures) and like to cook, particularly cooking with others--whether they're helping or just talking to me--while having a glass of wine, a good beer, or a very dry martini.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My kids, love, companionship, touch, art, music, and nature. (7)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The intersection of evolution and environment and its effects on human behavior. Even though it often doesn't matter, I'm fascinated with trying to figure out why people do what they do. I often can't understand it. And I'm amazed how people can hold extremely contradictory views/emotions/... in their minds--cognitive dissonance--yet their brains don't explode. (I see it in myself and I see it in others.) And an obvious related observation that keeps popping up for me is how people view the world so myopically. For example, when something that is likely to elicit an emotional response is described to someone, how rarely they're able to think outside their emotional boxes (cages?) and be able to see it from the speaker's point of view. Likely because, in everything that we do, we effectively filter it through our past experiences. It would be so much easier if we could read minds. (And wouldn't that seriously change society!) :)

[6/10 addition] While I think that theoretically polyamory is an ideal for the sexes to interact, I think both evolutionary and environmental vestiges tend to get in the way. Humans seem to be on the cusp between monogamy and polysomethingorother and it tends to cause conflicts in every culture that I've been able to research. While I'm curious about poly aspects, I have no problem being monogamous (and likely prefer it--but then I've never been in a relationship with sufficient trust/security to explore the other much. In the long run, no matter what, I prefer "until death do us part." I have no interest in having serial/sequential partners.]
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Depending on which week it is, I'm usually either home with my kids or meeting friends for a drink [less likely lately].
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
It's not really a private thing but something folks should know--I'm a horrible housekeeper (but I'm (agonizingly slowly) working on it). (And I think parenthetically (as well as like to alliterate).)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Pick one or more: You're nice/kind/warm. You're honest. You're quirky but sane. You like, or at least understand, oblique humor. You're open-minded and non-judgmental. You have a zest for life but like comfort too. You're fun to talk with. You feel like it. You have any questions. (I'll answer almost anything as honestly as I can.)

Note: I am not interested in a long-distance romantic relationship. I'm not sure what my distance barrier would be but 1000 miles was waaaaaaaay too far for a sustainable long-term relationship as I found out.

Note 2: I show as online much of the time because I rarely shut browser tabs and they're open either here or at work or both. Don't take it personally if I don't respond quickly.