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38 • Sammamish, WA • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 25–50
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, short-term dating
- Last online
- Today – 2:21am
- 5′ 8″ (1.73m)
- Body type
- Strictly anything
- Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
- Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
- Graduated from university
- Has a kid, and might want more
- Likes dogs and likes cats
- English (Fluently), Afrikaans (Poorly), Hawaiian (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly), C++ (Poorly)
What are the key questions you need to ask yourself?
- Do you want to meet up with me sometime? (hint: Yes)
- Is this guy attractive enough for me? (hint: ALL my relatives say I am, not just my mom, so this must also be Yes)
Seriously. I've met up with a few people on here, and the consensus is that I'm better than my profile. I can provide references. That may be hard to believe once you hear my rundown:
- Smart? Yes.
- Funny? Yes, please.
- Polite? I just said "Yes, please." Duh.
- Charming? Yes, so wear a belt lest your pants get charmed off. (BOOM, mark down another point for 'funny'! Also smart because who else uses "lest" except smarties?!)
- Sarcastic? My word! Never!
- Fun? No, actually. Just kidding, mark this down for YES as well.
- Confident? I'm confident the answer to this one is AFFIRMATIVE! Plus, I used caps and an exclamation point. Textually, that's as confident as you get.
- Successful? I've got a mortgage. The definition of success.
- Responsible? See aforementioned mortgage.
- Honest? More honest than I'd like to be. Stupid integrity!
- Good in bed? Nope; EXCELLENT in bed. I can sleep for hours uninterrupted. I'm probably the best sleeper I know. (Parenthood apparently changes your priorities here.)
- Showers regularly? Daily.
- Smells nice? Uhh...I believe so...
- Tastes great? That's kind of personal...
- Less filling? Wait...what? Did I stumble into a beer commercial?
- Arrogant? Sometimes. :-/ Where are these qualities coming from?!
- Outdoors-y? Ok, you got me. I'm not really outdoors-y.
- Sports fan? Uh oh...I'm not a sports fan, but I'll go to a game if someone drags me.
- Not Gay? Last I checked...wait, just so we're clear, saying "Yes" here means "Yes, I am not gay despite my impeccable grooming."
- Impeccably Groomed? This is a lie. I'm typically only well groomed. My current scruffy beard may disagree. (Update: my beard has been trimmed, and now has a natural look that has been described as "Spaniard"?!)
How can you pass up a deal like that? Let's chat and grab a coffee or a drink. I like to meet new people, and I'm always a fun date. :-)
"You sound awesome! There has to be a catch, though, right?"
Yeah. I'm married but separated, and a parent of a beautiful daughter born in 2012. We've probably been separated since mid-2013, but only labeled it as such in April 2014. I'm cohabiting and co-parenting with my wife, but basically roommates otherwise (i.e. sleeping in separate rooms, totally platonic). Creating this profile was her suggestion in Sept. 2013.
I'm open and happy to answer any questions about this.
While not ideal for dating, what does this really mean? It's similar to if I was just living with my kid full-time - I wouldn't be bringing anyone home unless things were getting very serious. Everyone has their challenges. If you've found someone here who's 100% ideal with no complications then I hope you're dating them. Except for the fact they're probably an alien infiltrator or something. :-)
Note: I am "The Gentleman" according to the OKC personality test. Aww.
Looking to bring back some sort of personal and physical connection that's been missing, that's been such a key part of my happiness. And defeating the malaise that's slightly dulling my innate-snarky-jackass-ness.
Writing in sentence fragments and parenthesis usage, apparently.
Finally, I'm a very formidable Pictionary player. If you're ever in a life-or-death game of Pictionary, I'm the guy you want on your team.
Another important-ish note: Reading my profile, you'll probably think "hey, this guy is smart, dead-sexy, funny, friendly, nice..." Hmm..."nice" is a dangerous word.
As a rule, I try to avoid being too suggestive in my profile or my initial messages because I respect you, and I understand the garbage most of you have to deal with here. But I'm about to bend that rule. Make no mistake: my ability to be nice doesn't mean I'm a "nice guy"; aka someone who's boring as hell and can't take charge and deliver when and where it counts. I'll take charge. I'll deliver. And I can count. Like...really high.
And I'm really good at it. That's why it's in this section.
Read into that what you like. If you want someone who is capable of and enjoys being "nice" but hate the idea of the typical "nice guy", you've come to the right profile.
Normally? My frequent smile. Or my overwhelming, near-translucent whiteness. Or my large, round head. Or some jackass comment I've made.
After meeting someone from OKC? That I'm better than my profile in nearly every respect. This is for-real serious business, ladies. Ok, full disclosure - one date said I was merely as good as my profile. Ehh, I'll take it.
Or maybe it's the two tickets to the Gun Show I'm frequently handing out. AKA my impressively masculine physique. (!)
Note: "(!)" is the punctuation mark for sarcasm. The more you know.
Movies: I'm a sucker for sci-fi and action movies - The Matrix, Avatar, recently Pacific Rim. I used to be one of those assholes that totally nit-picked every stupid thing in a movie; I've found I enjoy movies a lot more if I really make the effort to suspend disbelief. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy "serious cinema" - it just doesn't pop into my head when I think 'favorites'.
Also, the end of Fast and Furious 6 had the greatest twist in cinema history, hands-down. I'll fight anyone who disagrees.*
Shows: Haven't been watching much TV recently. Most of the usual suspects are here, though - Game of Thrones, Mad Men, etc. Update: OMG Game of Thrones is driving me bonkers!!!
Music: Not country. Everything else, though - but I was raised on 90's west-coast gangsta rap. :-o
Bacon Pancakes New York (link)
Food: I love almost all types of food, but I'm probably way too much of a fan of burgers. I should probably list that as one of the things I could never do without...I've been called American junk food connoisseur. Probably not something I should be putting here.
*Verbally. Maybe. Probably not. I'm a lover, not a fighter.
Video Games (because they provide my livelihood, they're fun, and I'm like, totally bad-ass at them).
A fast car (or "vehicle", when flying cars ever become the norm).
An opportunity to excel.
Note: I am proud I resisted the cliché'd urge to list "air, water, blah blah blah look at me I'm so clever." At least my clichés are sincere!
Note^2: I am somewhat less-proud I failed to resist the cliché'd urge to list "sex". Typical man. Ahh well.
How annoying it is that hyperlinks don't seem to show up on the mobile version of this site...thus, this section of my profile (and some other sections) make much less sense on mobile. :-/
Who the $%#@ builds a Stonehenge?! (link) I guess this should be in the music section?
Also, seriously? Guys, this is why we can't have nice things. (link) :-/
Wow, this is awesome (and disturbing)! (link) A woman sketches out naked pictures of guys that send her offensive messages for a little "reverse objectification". Nice!
These Dating Tips for the Feminist Man. (link) Lots of things there I aspire to be, and usually succeed - but it can be a challenge.
Otherwise, I really wonder who my daughter will become and how I can help her be the best person she can be. And how she's so much of a cuter/smarter/more advanced baby than all of her peers. I know you're not supposed to compare babies, but it's hard not to do when yours is clearly the greatest.
What it means to be separated yet cohabitating and co-parenting.
HILARIOUS. Did you see how I took a question asking about what I might be doing on a Friday night, the goal of which is to reveal what sort of social activities I might enjoy, what a date with me might entail, or how busy my social calendar is...and I flipped into a referendum on the meaning of existence then followed-up with a confirmation of my belief in my own existence!? DEEP!
Ehh, I've seen some people that have had good answers to this question. I am not one of them.
I stole this from another profile (but said thanks!) because it does a pretty good job of capturing how I attempt to live my life: Fuck Yes or No (link) And now...I'm seeing this all over OKC. I guess I'm a "Fuck Yes or No" hipster, as I liked it before it was cool.
That my wakeboarding picture is of one of the less-than half-dozen times I've been out wakeboarding. I'd like to go more, I just need to make friends with someone who has the whole setup, apparently.
That I've rounded my height up a half-inch or so as a begrudging acknowledgement to the importance of that stat when it comes guys and online dating. There: my one, slight, somewhat falsehood.
That I took the Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue pic for a charity gaming event, and NOT because I just love what a passive-aggressive jerk Barbie is to all her "friends" in the game. Really.
Also, that I participated in a couple of Air Sex competitions. Didn't win though (I was robbed!). I might have access to video evidence...
...you have a snarky comment. Or a non-snarky comment. Or any feedback, for that matter. I'm fun to chat with.
...you typically intimidate your partner(s) from an intellectual, emotional, or attitudinal perspective; i.e. you're unafraid to speak your mind and ask for what you want. If you're physically intimidating (i.e. I'd be concerned you'd attempt to beat me up and take my wallet)...well, way to go but that's not really my thing.
...you're interested in a casual meet-up to talk, potentially over drinks or a meal. I like meeting people even if nothing more than meeting a new person comes of it.
...you want to discuss the process and artifice of online dating.
...you want to put together an awesome PowerPoint. (link)
Or if I sent you a message. Even if it's to say "Sorry, you may be too much man for me" or "I can't stand your hobo-esque beard". Despite my tone, I am an adult, and I can handle the fact that not everyone can recognize what a good choice I am. ;-) I promise I'm not one of those jackasses that will get irate and rude with you because you were nice enough to be unambiguous in your communication!
And of course, if you want two tickets to the Gun Show.
I'm sure this is going to come back to bite me once it's revealed my "guns" are merely decent. Hey, they're at least as good as Will Ferrell's in Anchorman. :-/
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