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39 Jamaica Plain, MA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 35–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 7:19am
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body type
Mostly vegan
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from Ph.D program
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and has cats
English, French (Poorly), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
“Pour me a glass of wine.
Talk deep into the night.
Who knows what we'll find.”
- Over the Rhine, "Born"

Those lyrics say a lot about what I seek in my friendships and relationships. I tend to be drawn to one-on-one gatherings in which conversations achieve depth and emotion. I strive to really get to know who people are and what makes them tick. I seek out friends for life and put little effort into expanding my list of mere acquaintances.

I love the seasons and changing weather. I love the way the light of day and the dark of night can feel so different from one day to the next. I like curling up to watch a movie with my cat, a blanket, and a partner (although I don't do this nearly enough these days - to some extent because I am lacking the "partner" part). I love a long brunch date with a good friend. I love stopping for a moment to appreciate the intense hue of a deep red wine in my glass at the end of a long day. And, oh, how I love climbing into bed with freshly laundered sheets - especially if there is a thunderstorm raging outside and the man I love already there warming the sheets.

I have taken over 12,000 photographs in the last eight years but would not call myself a photographer; I just enjoy exploring myself and the world around me through that medium. I love snowboarding, as much because of the excuse to be out in the brisk air and up in the mountains as for the exhilaration of the sport. I completed the NYC marathon in 2011 because it was something I had long wanted to do and it was an opportunity to raise funds in memory of many friends and family members who have battled cancer. I took up salsa dancing in 2012 and loved it (although after a year I stopped taking classes because it was a bit disappointing to be learning a sensual and social dance with no one with whom to share it). I recently started rock climbing again and remembered how much I love it. I am a decent chef but definitely not a snooty gourmet. I buy local and organic when I can but am not neurotic about it. I am vegan at home, usually settle for vegetarian when I go out, and just do the best I can when traveling in meat-centric countries or eating at the French embassy (a story in and of itself). In other words, I'm not neurotic about this either. That said, I recycle everything I can and swapped out the stock, gusher showerhead in my apartment for a low-flow version as soon as I moved in (in part to make me feel less bad about my love for long showers).

I often laugh out loud at the quirks of my fellow humans, and I myself am quietly quirky and full of layers. I am not flashy or dazzling or the ‘next big thing’, but I am honest, curious, energetic, and 100% me. I understand what the phrase "salt of the earth" means, and I crave people who fit that description or at least get it. I seek a life that contains both the warmth and depth of the friendships I made during an earlier phase of my life in Upstate NY and the energy and passion of my recent years in NYC. (I am a very recent transplant to the Boston area.)

What does this all mean? It means that I have an incredible affinity for the things that make this life amazing, but I have had trouble wrapping my hands around that beauty because it has seemed so fleeting so far. I'd love to change that.

There’s another verse from that same Over the Rhine song that says a lot about how I approach relationships:

“Intuition, deja vu
The Holy Ghost haunting you
Whatever you got
I don’t mind.”

We all have ghosts and skeletons and fears and needs. Anyone who can’t admit that is much worse off than those who can. I’ll learn to live with yours if you’ll learn to live with mine. But at the foundation of it all has to be mutual love.

What is more amazing than falling head-over-heels in love? It's AMAZING. I've experienced it more than once, but in each case either the intense love wasn't reciprocated or the rest of the puzzle pieces didn’t fit. Is it possible to have that amazing kind of love AND a good fit - emotionally and logistically - for both partners? I'd like to believe that there is a man in my future with whom it will all feel 'right', on good days _and_ bad. But, if you've read this far, I don't think I have to tell you that finding that person is a hell of a lot harder than ordering takeout. If you can relate to, though, that's a good start for us.

I am looking for someone who will be a great friend – someone who wrestles me to the ground in play as we walk through the park and laugh and who wrestles the frown off my face at the end of a really tough day. I crave someone who is as curious about my life and the stories I have to tell as I am about his. I am looking to be with someone with whom I can have a great time on all levels, who will enjoy that I can be wickedly sarcastic at times and emotionally vulnerable at others, and with whom I share a mutual respect and strong physical attraction. No less importantly, I am looking for someone who isn't intimidated by a woman who is intelligent, who is successful, and who has dreams for her future but who also sometimes just craves a long, strong hug from someone she loves and who longs to have someone in her life who genuinely cares how her day went and takes the time to ask. Might you be right for me? If you have gotten this far into my profile and are still interested in finding out, (1) congratulations (!) and (2) please do drop me a note.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If we are talking about OKC dates, apparently it is that my photos are true to life and my profile describes me accurately. (I've had multiple dates tell me this independently.) Yup - I am all for truth in advertising.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: A bit here, a bit there. I read a ton at work all day, so I rarely can find the focus to embrace a book at the end of the day. That said, I did recently read Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer after reading his NYTimes piece ( based on the Middlebury College commencement speech he gave ( He is not going to appeal to everyone but certainly is someone who has something interesting to say.

Movies: Mostly artsy flicks such as Drive, The Artist, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Amelie, and Blue Valentine. Three relatively recent picks: Tyrannosaur, which I thought it was brutal but brilliant; Amour, which was achingly beautiful and sad; and Beginners, which was somewhat predictable but still touching in its portrayal of some very personal moments and of the characters' fears and needs. On the other hand, I was a bit disappointed by Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing; the Emma Thompson / Kenneth Branagh version from 20 years ago (good grief!) is still my favorite. Artsy/drama flicks aside, I also have a soft spot for movies from the various Marvel Comics series, and I loved the original three Bourne movies (perhaps because I have a bit of a crush on Matt Damon). And Monty Python hits the spot sometimes, too.

Shows: I haven't watched broadcast TV regularly since I was a teenager, so I just watch the occasional series through Netflix: Mad Men, The Wire, Six Feet Under, Better Off Ted.

Music: Pretty diverse: Nick Drake to Nick Cave, Peter Gabriel to Pink Floyd, Mumford and Sons to Massive Attack, The National to The Temper Trap...crap - I've run out of cutesy pairs. Let's just say lots, including recent stuff even though this list makes me seem rather old school. A good voice saying something worth saying is what usually counts, but the beat and mood matter, too. Or just the sound - I have an odd soft spot for medieval choral music even though I don't believe in any sort of god. I'll happily listen to lots of things. I really enjoyed NYC's live music scene when I lived there and am enjoying gradually exploring Boston's scene.

Food: just about anything if it can be made vegetarian and preferably vegan (my default but not exclusive mode - it's not as hard to adhere to as you might think) - Mexican, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Indian, etc. I don't mind if you aren't strictly vegan/vegetarian, but I would hope that you are open to eating such food and would require that you are at least aware of what you are eating and have thought about why you eat it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
…why some guys think a long OKCupid profile that actually says something about my interests and what is important to me is a bad thing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I just moved to Boston, so there isn't a typical Friday yet. In the past, though: having beers with coworkers; meeting a friend for dinner; climbing at a nearby gym; hearing some live music; eating leftovers and curling up with my cat. I'm not exactly into the high-society party scene, but there are lots of possibilities. That said, although I gravitate toward somewhat mellow activities on the average Friday night, if you spend most of your free time watching reruns and falling asleep on the couch, we probably aren't a good match.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I always manage to choose the slowest checkout line at the grocery store.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
(a) You are intrigued by what you read above.
(b) You actually made it through my whole profile.
(c) At least most of what is written in these two links makes sense to you: and
(d) You are NOT looking for someone who paints her nails and wears high heels and short skirts every Friday night. (I am orders of magnitude more likely to be decorated with scrapes and bruises from rock climbing or other adventures than with nail polish.)
(e) You answered the question about whether logical people annoy you with an emphatic "no."
(f) You are within the age range I listed in terms of what I am looking for.
(g) You live close enough that building a meaningful relationship would be feasible even though I don't own a car. (Zipcar is great but won't solve the problem of a significant mile distance if you aren't on a compatible mass transit line.)

Please note that I don't respond to one-liner emails or automated OKC emails telling me "So-and-so likes you!" I am looking to meet someone who is willing to put in some effort - starting with email #1. You don't have to write me a tome, but I would appreciate it if you could give me some indication that you can form complete thoughts and complete sentences that don't contain the word "baby" and that go beyond "Nice pics."