Talk deep into the night.
Who knows what we'll find.”
- Over the Rhine, "Born"
Those lyrics say a lot about what I seek in my friendships and relationships. I tend to be drawn to one-on-one gatherings in which conversations achieve depth and emotion. I strive to really get to know who people are and what makes them tick. I seek out friends for life and put little effort into expanding my list of mere acquaintances.
I love the seasons and changing weather. I love the way the light of day and the dark of night can feel so different from one day to the next. I like curling up to watch a movie with my cat, a blanket, and a partner (although I don't do this nearly enough these days - to some extent because I am lacking the "partner" part). I love a long brunch date with a good friend. I love stopping for a moment to appreciate the intense hue of a deep red wine in my glass at the end of a long day. And, oh, how I love climbing into bed with freshly laundered sheets - especially if there is a thunderstorm raging outside and the man I love already there warming the sheets.
I have taken over 12,000 photographs in the last eight years but would not call myself a photographer; I just enjoy exploring myself and the world around me through that medium. I love snowboarding, as much because of the excuse to be out in the brisk air and up in the mountains as for the exhilaration of the sport. I completed the NYC marathon in 2011 because it was something I had long wanted to do and it was an opportunity to raise funds in memory of many friends and family members who have battled cancer. I took up salsa dancing in 2012 and loved it (although after a year I stopped taking classes because it was a bit disappointing to be learning a sensual and social dance with no one with whom to share it). I recently started rock climbing again and remembered how much I love it. I am a decent chef but definitely not a snooty gourmet. I buy local and organic when I can but am not neurotic about it. I am vegan at home, usually settle for vegetarian when I go out, and just do the best I can when traveling in meat-centric countries or eating at the French embassy (a story in and of itself). In other words, I'm not neurotic about this either. That said, I recycle everything I can and swapped out the stock, gusher showerhead in my apartment for a low-flow version as soon as I moved in (in part to make me feel less bad about my love for long showers).
I often laugh out loud at the quirks of my fellow humans, and I myself am quietly quirky and full of layers. I am not flashy or dazzling or the ‘next big thing’, but I am honest, curious, energetic, and 100% me. I understand what the phrase "salt of the earth" means, and I crave people who fit that description or at least get it. I seek a life that contains both the warmth and depth of the friendships I made during an earlier phase of my life in Upstate NY and the energy and passion of my recent years in NYC. (I am a very recent transplant to the Boston area.)
What does this all mean? It means that I have an incredible affinity for the things that make this life amazing, but I have had trouble wrapping my hands around that beauty because it has seemed so fleeting so far. I'd love to change that.
There’s another verse from that same Over the Rhine song that says a lot about how I approach relationships:
“Intuition, deja vu
The Holy Ghost haunting you
Whatever you got
I don’t mind.”
We all have ghosts and skeletons and fears and needs. Anyone who can’t admit that is much worse off than those who can. I’ll learn to live with yours if you’ll learn to live with mine. But at the foundation of it all has to be mutual love.
What is more amazing than falling head-over-heels in love? It's AMAZING. I've experienced it more than once, but in each case either the intense love wasn't reciprocated or the rest of the puzzle pieces didn’t fit. Is it possible to have that amazing kind of love AND a good fit - emotionally and logistically - for both partners? I'd like to believe that there is a man in my future with whom it will all feel 'right', on good days _and_ bad. But, if you've read this far, I don't think I have to tell you that finding that person is a hell of a lot harder than ordering takeout. If you can relate to http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/01/i-promise-to-touch-you/, though, that's a good start for us.
I am looking for someone who will be a great friend – someone who wrestles me to the ground in play as we walk through the park and laugh and who wrestles the frown off my face at the end of a really tough day. I crave someone who is as curious about my life and the stories I have to tell as I am about his. I am looking to be with someone with whom I can have a great time on all levels, who will enjoy that I can be wickedly sarcastic at times and emotionally vulnerable at others, and with whom I share a mutual respect and strong physical attraction. No less importantly, I am looking for someone who isn't intimidated by a woman who is intelligent, who is successful, and who has dreams for her future but who also sometimes just craves a long, strong hug from someone she loves and who longs to have someone in her life who genuinely cares how her day went and takes the time to ask. Might you be right for me? If you have gotten this far into my profile and are still interested in finding out, (1) congratulations (!) and (2) please do drop me a note.