Just an average guy living in his Mum's basement and working as a
trolley boy at Woolies. Gold diggers are welcome to apply...
As a a taken guy, I'm not here for a drunken hookup behind some
shitty club. Rather I'm here to meet interesting people who're up
for chatting about the world, the meaning of life, psychedelic
drugs, Miley Cyrus...
But seriously, I'm just looking for real connections with real
people. If you've got something more to say beyond your favourite
pair of shoes, I want to hear from you. For real.
What I’m doing with my life
After taking a break from teaching the 14 year olds of the world
that there is more to life than taking selfies during Period 5
English (only partially successfully), I decided to spend some time
travelling and working around North America. I blew away the people
of Montreal with my ability to count to 10 in French and managed to
avoid breaking any bones with my impersonation of an ice-skater in
Ottawa. Now I am back in the world of Melbourne so that I can save
up to do it all over again.
I’m really good at
Falling over whilst skating
Looking like I'm working when I'm actually not
Confiscating mobile phones from eighth graders
Calling out all the bullshit in adverts (and annoying the people
around me while doing it)
The first things people usually notice about me
My gym-junkie, fist pumping, Ed Hardy wearing bro' attitude to
life. (Alas I have yet to upload the requisite topless selfies...)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Breaking Bad, The Wire, Six Feet Under, Requiem for a Dream, Lost
in Translation, To Kill a Mockingbird, 1984 and Sharknado because
that was perhaps the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life,
ever. Mostly though it's wanky arthouse and foreign films that no
one else wants to go see.
I'm really not fussed about food, I love eating most things. Except
tomato soup and tomato juice. They are my kryptonite.
My music taste is quite varied but usually tends toward the
electronic, indie end of the spectrum - think Sigur Ros, M83,
Skrillex, Haim...Though I do try to live my life like Lil' Wayne.
The six things I could never do without
Cafe's and lattes
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life and the meaning of it all
How to escape the bullshit consumerist and materialist messages
we're sent everyday
Where the best cafe is in any particular city
How do I keep accumulating fluff in my belly-button.
On a typical Friday night I am
Composing 'hey babez' and 'I want to be in u' messages to people on
OKCupid because I'm told they have a 100% success rate.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Growing up, Sunday night's would invariably involve watching ABBA
music videos thanks to my parents obsession. The scars are still
You should message me if
You are brave, or perhaps foolish, enough to do so...