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36 Salem, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
May 12
5' 6" (1.68m)
Body Type
Buddhism and laughing about it
Dropped out of University
Doesn’t want kids
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Yeah I know, I keep adding to this thing in sporadic spurts that now the damn thing is starting to read like a fucking disjointed novel. I only add I never subtract. I have no shame in what I've done in my past. I just keep moving forward and adding to my present while being intrigued in what the future may or may not hold.

Sad to say I feel if you do not have the time or patience to read through all of this then you really don't have all that much interest in getting to know me in any meaningful way. Fortunately I believe in the golden rule and I'm more than happy to return the favor. It's a win-win situation in working toward our mutual benefit of not giving a shit and not really missing out on anything all that great.

Also my profile and what I have here needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I'm a comedian, an idiot, a clown, I have a snarky biting sense of sarcasm, satire and maybe some tiny little bit of wit. If what I have to say gets your panties all up in a bunch that much, then hey we both win out because we really wouldn't be a good couple. Also I've answered a shit ton of those question thingies. So if you want a better glimpse of the type of guy I really am then go through those. At least there it's a bit clearer that I'm being a smart ass.

If for some odd reason you do happen to find me appealing, then show it, in some way. Either write something or at the very least make use of that wink thingy. I'm getting a bit tired of making an effort to write something thoughtful only to be ignored. I consider that rude, inconsiderate, uncivilized and it's getting on my nerves a bit. So I'm just not going to bother with any of you beyond drawing attention to myself.

Which is actually working. Sort of, kind of that is. Seems the females on here aren't exactly the brightest bulbs. Lacking the reading and comprehension skills needed to take in the piece as a whole but would rather look and judge based on one part.

Ok, fair enough, but if your going to do that, then my judgement of you will be based on nothing more than your tits and ass. I'm on here because I'm new to town and don't know anybody. What's your reason and excuse for being here?

I'm an odd, quirky, eclectic sort of guy. Some might say that I look a little creepy. Though I've been told it's a cute kind of creepy, sort of like Gulum from Lord of the Rings.

Okay, more wonderful intriguing tid bits of the Boob. I do like and enjoy writing from time to time. Though be warned I'm not nor ever have been an English Major. So my punctuation will and always has been extremely atrocious but with the power of spell check this won't be to much of an annoying headache to read. It is also a W.I.P. so I'll keep adding to it when the mood strikes me or I get bored and find something else to entertain myself with.

I'm a pretty open book, have no shame and don't believe in presenting facades or ruses to the people I meet. I do at times censor myself to an extent, but this is more out of respect to the person I'm with and value their company and don't want to be unduly offensive when it's not necessary. It's more about using a different word list from my vocabulary. I don't hide who I am.

The reason people can't be honest with others is they tend to not be honest with themselves. The only thing I can't, I won't tolerate and hate with extreme contempt and prejudice is intolerance. I rarely believe in victims. More often than not your just a victim of the label you place on yourself. An example, if your a woman and think men have a better life. Is it because they actually do or is it because you just see yourself as a woman and are comparing the crappy parts of your life to the good parts you think you see in men? This applies to almost any and every label you can think of.

For myself I've found that once you stop seeing yourself as a label and start seeing a human being in the mirror life has a way of being much more pleasant and enjoyable.

I don't like "groups" once a group forms lines start to become drawn and it quickly becomes an "Us versus Them" sort of mentality.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Right now I'm taking a leap of faith in my life. I just moved to Austin to reboot and try and get something going. My primary aim is to try my luck and see what it takes to be a stand-up comic. I've never been to Austin till I moved here. I'm a firm believer in that things workout the way they're suppose to when they are meant to. Call it what you will, fate, destiny, or god's plan. I just know this is what, where and when I'm suppose to be doing with my life right now.

As of late I'm really starting to question the "Domesticated Primate" lifestyle. It's only been a little over a week since I've reintroduced myself into civilized society. It's been a rather novel experience thus far but I'm starting to question whether or not it's really for me and if I keep it up I'll be genuinely happy doing so. It's a conundrum for me mostly because I feel that the zookeepers charge too much for a place to sleep, I sort of resent that. My lifestyle before wasn't anything all that great or glamorous but for the most part I was quite content with it. About the only reason it sucked was the place and area of the country I was living in did a really good job at sucking. Austin is a much better and enjoyable place to be.

I'm starting to think that if I keep poking about and adding crap on here I'll disclose so much about myself that there may be no point in e-mailing me to get to know who I am. Or that I'll just keep going and banging away at the keyboard and then it'll become "He was sounding so great and appealing up until he said THAT." The latter part I don't think will be much of a worry at this point. If you read the "message me if" section you'll probably agree that line is fairly accurate and I pulled it off quite handsomely and did an admiral job of it.

On the flip side maybe you'll believe and take me as being genuine when I say I'm really not looking to get laid. ;) About the only thing you may find annoying about it is that I present and portray it as something of my own free choice, rather than me simply being an asshole who has a snowballs chance on the matter.

That however is something of a false assumption that relies on the idea that I don't know how to behave myself and I'm completely lacking any skill at being something of a charmer when I really want to be. Let's put it this way, when I was going to school for photography, I very quickly learned that talking women out of their clothes and taking their picture wasn't exactly the most difficult thing I've ever done. I discovered it relied on nothing more than, presentation, motivation, and being a good salesman. I had worked on another art project a few years prior that involved making molds of women's breasts.

So don't presume I don't know how to approach and treat women to talk them into something I'm really wanting. I'm not trying to present myself as being an deluded egotist on this matter. I do have the pictures to prove it and can put my money where my mouth is.

Besides one of my many charming traits is being a bit of an egotistical ass from time to time. :p
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
At figuring things out. I've been teaching myself computer animation. I'm a mostly self taught artist, photographer and writer. I say mostly because I've taken classes in art and photography, but I pretty much run with things and explore on my own, I see the teacher more as a consultant and someone to get me started. I have no problem jumping into things and figuring them out as I go. This is the third time moving to a new city not knowing anyone or anything about it.

Alright let's clarify and extrapolate on just how good I am at figuring shit out. For the last two years of my life I was living on $200 a month. I was living in an R.V. inside of an industrial building. I was the caretaker of the property and only worked 30 hours a month at $10 an hour. Ten of those hours were for rent the rest was paid to me. During that time I was able to maintain my smoking habit, never dug around in ash trays outside of businesses. Was able to have and maintain a cell phone. Was able to maintain my coffee habit and went out regularly to partake in it. I was able to maintain good grooming habits such as bathing and shaving. Did my laundry on a regular basis. I was able to feed myself and never went to bed hungry. I walked or rode my bicycle everywhere I went. This was a choice, I had a van, but I don't like driving, and I only drove the thing about once a week to two weeks. In fact there was one day I went out to drive it and the battery had gone dead so I just said fuck it and didn't really bother with it after that.

For the most part I was able to maintain my life pretty much as any other normal person does. You wouldn't have known how I lived by looking at me nor suspect that was how I was living, unless I told you.

I think being able to do that pretty well qualifies me as being really good at figuring shit out. If you disagree I'd love to hear your views and reasons as to why that is the case.

Oooh, oooh, it appears that out of any and all talents that I have and may or may not be all that great at, I am really, really, really, really, really, reeeeeeaaaaaallyyy, good at pissing women off. Not just like a little upset, or a bit mad, but like royally fucking pissed off. Think Tasmanian Devil, Oscar the grouch, and Animal, all wrapped up in a nice package, while amped up on speed, meth, crack and coke all at once. You'll need to read on down to the very bottom to the "message me if" section to get what I'm talking about.

The very first time doing an Open Mic and doing stand up I did that bit, along with some other stuff in a related and similar vein and walked a table full of girls. Something like 5-10 of them. And the look of utter seething hate and unbridled rage on their faces was fucking priceless. I laughed hysterically over that shit for a week straight. Well I'm still laughing about it but just not as much. My maniacal Evil Genius laugh doesn't quite have the same edge to it as it did that week.

But that's what makes being on Ok Cupid sooooooo much fun for me. It's bringing back the inner Evil Genius Super Villain that so much wants to breath free and break out into a song and dance number.

I know, I know, you ladies are setting there shaking your heads saying, "He's an asshole, such a fucking asshole. Just when I thought a man couldn't be a bigger asshole I find this guy."

I know right, just when you think it couldn't get any better, BOOM!, something comes along that out does all the rest.

I'm totally awesome!!!!!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not really sure. It seems to me to delve to much into this question is to descend into narcissistic praise and deluded glory. Oh, wait, that's what this whole profile thing sort of boils down to doesn't it? Now I just feel like a dirty whore or a used car salesman.

I suppose that when people first look at me they think, "That's one creepy, effing, weird little bugger." Though now that I'm living in Austin I'm not sure if that is a bad thing or more of a selling point. I haven't been here all that long so the jury is still out on that question. I'm just going on past experience.

The next thing is, if I'm given a chance to talk for any length of time is that I'm some what intelligent, engaging, entertaining, interesting, witty and sarcastic. I'm assertive, firm, and a bit opinionated in what I believe in. Though not to the point where it's set in stone. I like and enjoy a good debate. So if you can present a sound logical well reasoned argument I am willing to admit that I'm wrong and change my views accordingly.

After that it would be that I'm an odd mix of eclectic conundrums and seem to be something of a paradox.

Oh, and perhaps from time to time, I come across as being a bit full of myself. Though don't let that fool you. I'm well aware that I'm not the greatest thing since sliced bread. I can make fun of myself just as well as I can of others. If you hadn't noticed the screen name, I know that I'm a BooB and a bit of a wondering idiot. The ego is what keeps me going and falling into an inescapable pit of depression or at the very least being stuck in it for very long.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Well crap, this is the most vague and general question one could ask. Let's start with books the best way to answer that is to list my favorite authors, Terry Pratchett and Robert Anton Wilson. Those are my absolute favorites. The list of books that I've read in the last 6 months to a year would be extremely long and annoying to put up here. Most of the stuff I read comes from Project Gutenberg so late 19th to early 20th century literature. I like fiction mostly. Though what's most important is that it is a good story that is engaging, interesting, and makes one think. Currently I'm trying to read "Naked Lunch" by William S. Burroughs. Though I'm not finding much time as of late to do much reading.

As for movies, I'm a really big movie guy. It really depends on my mood at the moment as to what I'll watch and enjoy. I really enjoy CGI, VFX, and animation so there are times where I'll watch a movie solely for the eye candy. I've become somewhat jaded to most of what Hollywood puts out these days. Finding that going to the Redbox is a more enjoyable experience and I don't feel like I've just wasted money. However the one thing that gets me out to the theater without fail is when Pixar comes out with a new movie. The only exception was when I went out to see "Tron: Legacy". Like I said sometimes I just like the pretty eye candy.

Music, now this is a bit tougher for me. I do like and enjoy music I'm just not super into it. I'm weird like that. I tend to need the audio along with the visual. That said, my two favorite bands are They Might Be Giants and My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult. Though I've been getting into Benny Benassi and Daft Punk a bit. Mostly for the music videos but I enjoy the music as well. I'm very eclectic when it comes to my tastes. From classical to lounge to alternative to industrial to classic rock to 80's to country (but only if you don't consider Johnny Cash a genera all to himself) to some rap. Basicly if it's fun, quirky, upbeat or angry and aggressive I'll most likely be into it.

Ok I'm just a wee bit peeved with things. After answering like a bazillion of those stupid question thingies I took a gander at my "personality" stats and it comes to find out that I'm ranked as being less well read. Not just a little, no they make it look as if I'm illiterate. So here is my big flying fuck you too at the Ok Cupid personality assessment bot.

Robert Anton Wilson - The Illuminatus! Trilogy, Cosmic Trigger I: The Final Secret of the Illuminati, Prometheus Rising, Everything Is Under Control: Conspiracies, Cults and Cover-ups

Terry Pratchett - The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Equal Rites, Mort, Sourcery, Wyrd Sisters, Guards! Guards!, Eric, Moving Pictures, Reaper Man, Witches Abroad, Small Gods, Lords and Ladies, Soul Music, Feet of Clay, Hogfather, Jingo, The Last Continent, Carpe Jugulum, The Fifth Elephant, The Truth, Thief of Time, The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, Night Watch, Going Postal, Thud!, Making Money, Unseen Academicals, Strata, Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman), The Carpet People, Johnny and the Dead
I've damn near read everything this man has put out, and I intend to do so within my lifetime.

Douglas Adams - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - A Study in Scarlet, His Last Bow, The Hound of the Baskervilles, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, The Return of Sherlock Holmes, The Sign of the Four, The Valley of Fear.

Aesops Fables - 2 different translations/collections.

Agatha Christie - Secret Adversary, The Mysterious Affair at Styles, there are numerous others but I can't point them out from a list.

Alexandre Dumas - The Count of Monte Cristo.

Algernon Blackwood - Four Weird Tales, The Wendigo.

Arthur Machen - The Angels of Mons, The Great God Pan, The Hill of Dreams, The House of Souls.

Bram Stoker - Dracula

Brothers Grimm - Household Stories.

C. Collodi - Adventures of Pinocchio.

Lewis Carrol - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Phantasmagoria and Other Poems, Sylvie and Bruno, The Hunting of the Snark, Through the Looking Glass.

Edgar Jepson and Maurice Leblanc - Arsene Lupin, 813, The Blond Lady, The Confessions of Arsene Lupin, The Crystal Stopper, The Eight Strokes of the Clock, The Extraordinary Adventures of Arsene Lupin Gentalman Burglar, The Golden Triangle, The Hollow Needle, The Teeth of the Tiger.

George Grossmith - Diary of a Nobody.

H. G. Wells - The Invisible Man, The Island of Doctor Moreau, The Sleeper Awakes, The Time Machine, The War of the Worlds.

H. Rider Haggard - King Solomon's Mines

H. P. Lovecraft - (shorts and novellas) A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson, At the Mountains of Madness, Azathoth, Beyond the Wall of Sleep, Celephais, Cool Air, Dagon, Ex Oblivione, Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family, From Beyond, He, Herbert West - Reanimator, History of the Necronomicon, Hypnos, Ibid, In the Vault, Memory, Nyarlathotep, Old Bugs, Pickman's Model, Polaris, Sweet Ermengarde, The Alchemist, The Beast in the Cave, The Book, The Call of Cthulhu, The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, The Cats of Ulthar, The Colour Out of Space, The Descendant, The Doom that Came to Sarnath, The Dreams in the Witch House, The Dunwich Horror, The Evil Clergyman, The Festival, The Haunter of the Dark, The Horror at Red Hook, The Hound, The Lurking Fear, The Moon-Bog, The Music of Erich Zann, The Nameless City, The Other Gods, The Outsider, The Picture in the House, The Quest of Iranon, The Shadow Out of Time, The Shadow Over Innsmouth, The Shunned House, The Silver Key, The Strange High House, The Street, The Temple, The Terrible Old Man, The Thing on the Doorstep, The Tomb, The Transition of Juan Romero, The Tree, The Unnamable, The Very Old Folk, The Whisperer in Darkness, The White Ship, What the Moon Brings, The Shunned House.

Hugh Lofting - The Story of Doctor Dolittle, The Voyages of Dr. Dolittle.

J. Walker McSpadden - Robin Hood

James De Mille - A Strange Manuscript Found in a Copper Cylinder.

James M. Barrie - Peter Pan.

Jonathan Swift - A Modest Proposal, Gulliver's Travels.

Jules Verne - Around the World in 80 Days, The Underground City.

Kenneth Grahame - The Wind in the Willows.

L. Frank Baum - All of the Oz books.

Mary Shelly - Frankenstein

Oscar Wilde - The Picture of Dorian Gray

P. G. Wodehouse - A Damsel in Distress, A man of Means, A Prefect's Uncle, Love Among the Chickens, Death at the Excelsior, Indiscretions of Archie, Jill the Reckless, Mike, Mike and Psmith, My Man Jeeves, Not George Washington, Piccadilly Jim, Psmith in the City, Psmith Journalist, The Adventures of Sally, The Clicking of Cuthbert, The Coming of Bill, The Gem Collector, The Intrusion of Jimmy, The Little Nugget, The Little Warrior, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories, The Man with Two Left Feet, The Politeness of Princes, The Pothunters, The Prince and Betty, The Swoop, The White Feather, Three Men and a Maid, Uneasy Money, William Tell Told Again.

Marcel Allain and Pierre Souvestre - A Nest of Spies, A Royal Prisoner, Fantomas, Messengers of Evil, The Exploits of Juve.

Robert Louis Stevenson - The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Treasure Island.

Rudyard Kipling - The Jungle Book

Sax Rohmer - Brood of the Witch-Queen, The Golden Scorpion, The Hand of Fu-Manchu, The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu, The Quest of the Sacred Slipper, The Return of Dr. Fu-Manchu.

Other than the works by Prachett and Wilson, everything else is on my e-book reader and what I've read within the last year. But that's not everything.

So yeah, Fuck you Cupid bot if I'm not well read, asshole.

Oh, my most favoritest movies and shows.

The Venture Brothers
Invader Zim

I bet you can't guess why.

I also think that Dr. Girlfriend is super fucking hot and I spend my nights awake and alone wondering if I'll ever find a woman who is just as good or better than her.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Coffee, cigarettes, a good book, a good conversation, a good movie, and my computer. Those are in no particular order and I'm sure there are other things I could never do without that I'm not thinking of like air. I've found that often times one does not fully appreciate what it is they have until it's no longer there.

I'm starting to discover I can really do without more and more crap that I use to think was important to me. Such as movies and to a certain extent my computer and books. Not that I don't use them or appreciate them but I'm finding that there is much more out there in the world that keeps me pretty busy, occupied, and entertained as it is.

So let's revamp the list a bit. Because I'm discovering all I really want and/or need in life is the following.

(Those two are constantly battling it out in who will be king of the mountain. It depends on which one I don't have at that moment. We always want what we can't or don't have.)

(Because the above two, taken in large enough quantities cause me to tweak out and food restores some balance back into my life. Plus my tummy tends to get a bit pissy with me if I don't pay attention to it and I really don't need that hassle.)

A shirt on my back and other assorted clothing like apparel.
(Because social conventions and weather conditions seem to want to force their views on what they deem appropriate upon me. Not that I would go around in the nude, I like pockets too much. They're handy and sadly I'm not a female marsupial.)

Lastly a comfy place to sleep. So long as it's not a slab of stone, I'm not at all very picky. For the last three weeks I've been sleeping on a love seat. But here is a list of other things I've slept on for extented, i.e. weeks at a time.

A folding lawn chair.
A lazy boy recliner.
A thin mat on the floor.
A futon.
The back seat in my old van.
The world's comfiest full size fake leather couch. (This was when I literally lived in a coffee shop. The greatest fucking time I've had.)

And once upon a time an actual bed.

Those are the things I NEED.

Now these are the things I would like to have or WANT to have.

Good company and good conversation.

A compact, point and shoot, digital camera, with a fairly decent optical zoom, and at least 10-12 megapixel or better and is able to do +/- EV bracketing. I like my SLR but it's a major pain in the fucking ass to lug around and muck about with. Also, it's not the camera that makes the photographer. I've been selling some of my photo work online and the irony there is my best selling photo is a shot I did years before I ever took a photo class with a fairly generic point and shoot. Yea, for me in going to school and spending all that money!!!!!

A genuine smart phone. It doesn't need to be all that super smart but it needs to at least be half assed intelligent. My current phone, it goes to the same school, but it rides the short bus to get there. A low end android phone will suite me just fine. It just needs to have a real OS, touch screen, GPS, camera, have a real keyboard preferably a slider and a memory card slot. I want it mostly because I like to do things as the mood hits me. I'm working on trying to be a more outgoing, friendly go with the flow sort of guy. Things don't workout to well in that regard when your fussing with a laptop and need to find a place with Wifi access.

Then there is having a sketch book and note book along with varying bits of artistic supplies. I'm currently plotting and scheming on flopping my happy ass somewhere on Guadalupe and trying to make some money off of my artistic endeavors. Actually I'm usually pretty happy camping out at a coffee shop and spending the whole day drawing and working on a piece so long as I have coffee and cigs. That and it's a great way to meet peoply critter thingies that sometimes turn out to be rather interesting intelligent creatures. Sometimes they turn out to be female and kind of cute.

That's about all I really need and want in life.

Though I'm thinking having a camping hamock, sleeping back, and a kayak/canoe would also be really really handy to have in the near future.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life, the universe and everything. After that it's all about just what is 42 the answer of. Then I wonder why there is something nesting in my belly button, and if I'll ever catch it. Been living there since '96 or '97, sort of like that elusive roommate you never see but there's evidence of their cohabitation.

How much I'm trying to be a more friendly, open, outgoing, go with the flow kind of guy. Which is rather hard to do, and a bit of a switch considering I've been a reclusive, misanthrope for the last ten years. I think I've been doing fairly well, say a moderate to fair amount of improvement considering the circumstances.

As it is, old habits die hard. So while I'm open to meeting new people and friendly and conversational with them. I've been spending a great deal of time thinking about how people are really a bunch of brainless inconsiderate asshole a good portion of the time. Especially when they go out in public. They just don't seem to realize they are not the only asshole out there in the world.

So these are the groups of people I've come to learn I really really hate.

People who use a public bathroom and seem to forget that they are not at home and there are quite possibly other people waiting for you to get the fuck out of the god damn bathroom.

People who wonder about as if they are lost and clueless as to why there are there in the first place. Especially annoying if the place is busy and there is a long line. They've been staring at the menu for the last 15 minutes and still can't figure things out. These people seem to also enjoy standing right in the middle of the walk way/through fair of the place. They also can't seem to stand still for any length of time but sort of wobble or meander about. So it becomes a fun game of dodge the fuck head and hope they don't bump into you causing you to spill coffee or anything else everywhere and on you.

Assholes on the bus. There are a good number of people who ride the bus who seem to think they are entitled to their own private personal space. Which is fine when the fucking thing isn't full and has plenty of seats left. What gets me is when it starts getting full people set there with either their bags and shit in the seat next to them or they set there right on the aisle seat being this passive aggressive obstacle to getting to a seat that pretty much says "fuck you." That's a bullshit thing to do to another human being. Nobody should have to stand up to ride it unless there is absolutely no more seats left. If your the sort of person that feels that they absolutely have to have their own little private Idaho of personal fucking space. Then get a car or a fucking bicycle and keep your god damn, inconsiderate, douche bag ass of the bus.

That's the short list. I'll keep you posted as to more people that piss me off to no end.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
It depends, what I really enjoy most is good company and good conversation. So where ever I can find one or both of those is pretty damn good for me. I'm pretty open to trying new things and meeting new people.

Eh, what? It's friday? What month is it? I have a really really bad sense of time. The only reason I can tell a.m. from p.m. is that big ball of light seems to appear at fairly regular and consistent intervals. It's kind of handy to have around.

Other than that, I'm usually either clueless or just not that concerned with the time, day or date. Unless I have plans or there is something I'm suppose to be doing somewhere and I can't just ignore it or put it off till later when I'm in the mood or bored.

I'm pretty good with seasons, if that counts for anything.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no shame, but that's not exactly private. Secretly I'm an introverted recluse but when I have an appreciative audience of one or more I really break out of my shell.

I don't wear boxers, briefs or anything at all. I'd wear a skirt because I enjoy a good healthy breeze and claim that I was Scottish and walk around with that insecure, hyper aggressive, fuck you if you say anything about it attitude. But I'm 5'6" and on a good day weigh 120 so that would last all of two seconds. Plus I live in Texas where breezes are rare and gales are common. I don't think the public at large would enjoy or be appreciative as I would be if I wore a skirt.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Given that my preconceived notions based on prior experience in how the two genders will respond to me, I already know how this will go. Sadly I've not been proven wrong and this presumption still holds up. This section of my profile will only be applicable and useful to the males out there in the online world.

Because women have no fucking balls or initiative when it comes to looking for a mate. They'll bitch about not being able to find a decent guy. Though if you can't find a thing that means your looking which is a verb thus denoting action and implying that your doing something. The simple truth is, women put in the bare minimum in doing anything then proceed to set on their dead lazy asses and casually pick through the shit that happens to float their way.

They are nothing more than "Beach combers of love".

If your still reading this then chances are your male. Otherwise your probably a pissy female who's getting her panties all up in a bunch right now and more than likely not going to e-mail me any more than if I had made effort to be a nice guy with this. So I'm really not missing out on anything either way, now am I?

Now on to the message me if portion of this whole thing.

1) You acknowledge and understand the fact that I am a smoker. I smoke cigarettes very regularly. I also smoke pot every now and again. I'm staying clean at the moment not for employment but there is a company doing clinical trials for drugs that I'd like to be involved in so need to be clean for that. Either way you are NOT going to get me to quit or change me in any way in regards to my smoking habits. If you try to do so you'll find out real quick all of the fun creative ways in which I can tell someone that they can go fuck themselves.

2) I am new to the Austin area. I moved here on 5-03-11. As such I'm still in the process of getting settled in and adjusted to being here. I'm also still in the process of finding a job. So I'm not exactly in any sort of position to be dating any one as it is right now. Also I do not own a vehicle of any sort. Including a bicycle though that will change in the near future. This is by choice and I have no desire to own a car in any shape way or form. So you need to live in Austin and somewhat near a bus route. Otherwise you need to be willing to drive.

Ah, a much needed update for item number two. Prospects and possibilities on the procurement of monetary units is starting to look more promising in the near future.

3) Don't assume that since it says I'm bi on my profile that it is an even 50/50 split between males and females with me. On the Kinsey scale I fall some where between a 1 or a 2. For the lazy who can't figure out what google is, this means if your a guy you have between 10-20 percent chance I'll be interested in any way. It's even less if your entertaining the notion I may get into bed with you at any point in time. I'm extremely picky when it comes to guys. I do believe in casting a wide net and keeping an open mind to possibilities however. With that said I"m not a big fan of absolutes and not particularly fond of straight or gay people as far as intimate romantic relationships go.

(note to self: filling out online profiles while in a bad mood might not be the best of ideas. Though I'll do it anyway because I have no problem being a bit dickish in public from time to time. See my most private thing I'm willing to admit section. Plus I like to vent and rant.)