Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*A word of warning: this is gonna be some long-ass business!*
Hi, I'm that weirdo who never knows how to introduce myself short
of stumbling into peoples lives... I think I'm a nice guy, and you
can ask me what you want... Actually please do ask something as we
are supposed to be on here to get to know new people.
It does throw me off a bit when people say 'Don't start a
conversation by saying Hi! How are you?' What do you want me to
say? Do people seriously come to you in real life and say
"Gleeblegloob" instead of Hi? Don't be silly. I, unlike them and
possibly you, don't take it as offensive or boring as it is a
perfectly acceptable greeting in the Western Hemisphere.
We can't all be that shy can we? Well yes. I am very shy at first.
This is why I just look at people at the moment. Take it as a first
message, and say hello or start a topic. I know that may sound
boring or a cop-out, but I genuinely don't know how to start a
conversation on this sort of thing, (without saying 'Hi!') but once
I get going I get going!
To myself, I think I look quite good (I've looked better though)
but to most I probably look like a Bulldog chewing a Wasp but as
long as you're cool, I'm cool.
I have now pitched up in Leeds, however you will find me in lots of
places including Manchester (down t'road) and London (dahn sarf)
and other towns and villages that take my fancy (suggestions
That's me. Now let's get it on.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am doing a lot... but currently I'm looking at a Laptop.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
See, I could go the creepy creep man route and come out with
something cheesy and noise like 'Get your clothes off, and I'll
show you what I'm REALLY good at!' But then that would come across
as.. Oh who am I kidding?! We all want to say some terrible line
like that! Come on! Have some fun for once in your life!... And I'm
actually a pretty good cook.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
OK, I'm bald. bald as two Coots. Unfortunately I have Alopecia *cue
Violins please* which makes me not only bald on my head, but bald
EVERYWHERE (yes there!) I don't even have eyelashes it's crazy, I
mean I used to have one of the coolest Afros and a hip, cool and
trendy beard * before Hipsters existed and now I'm completely bald
my confidence went a bit and I end up on dating websites... *stop
with the Violins now* I make up for it by copious amounts of
hats... lots of hats... I now like hats... hats.
*Check out the 'Message me if...' section for more beardy fun.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Films: BACK TO THE FUTURE!!! That is all. Actually I like a lot of
films, mostly comedy and sci-fi because I'm a massive geek, but I'm
not adverse to the odd shocker! I hope the lady out there isn't
adverse to the odd 'shocker' either! *holds fingers in position*...
Too far? Now we know our boundaries.
Music: Excuse me a moment.... Wait on a sec, I'm just getting
something.... Ahem! BOW DOWN TO MY MIGHTY SWORD OF ECLECTICISM!!!!
*holding sword aloft, whilst thunder crashes and lightning is...
lightening?* I actually do love all types of music - even Country!
It's just particular songs I don't like, so whatever floats your
boat will be sunk by my Battleship. HMM! HMM!
If you have Spotify check out this:
Books: Like films on paper... My favourite book is Day of the
Triffids. Read it. It has everything.
Food: Anything goes, except Shellfish. I would make it my duty to
curse your entire family before dying of anphylaptic shock.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no order whatsoever:
Cigarettes ('Jazz' or otherwise)
This is strictly for survival, you do know this? And if we strike
up regular contact outside of our machines, you WILL have to
provide at least three of these six items to me at some
..OK, Friendship, Music and Water will have to do.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I have been recently thinking about some things, including:
Why do Elvis impersonators always go for the fat 1970s Elvis?
What would happen if a Horse and a Bull successfully mated? Would a
Unicorn come out?
If we have Special K cereal, is there a Normal K cereal?
When people see a Ghost, they are usually clothed in the period
clothing they died in... What if you died naked? Would you be a
Why are raspberry flavoured things like ice pops and slushies all
BLUE?! When was the last time you saw a blue raspberry in the
If the plural of a sheep is 'sheep', why isn't the singular a
Why aren't finished buildings called 'builts'?
If The Queen reached 100, would she send herself a telegram?
Does anyone know the answers? Let me know...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I do what most people do on a Friday night... If I'm out playing,
I'm out playing... Player. I don't know where that came from, I
must be channeling my inner 1993 Gangsta'
However, if you're in the areas I am (Yorkshire/Greater
Manchester/London) and you need someone to spend a Friday night
with (concerts/festivals/bars/your house) - send a message! - I
will try my best!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If you read my answers to questions, you will see who I am... With
some (unproven) Science, (questionable) Facts, and (whacked-out)
Philosophy that some may deem 'Private'... I try to comment on all
questions, but if you have something to ask let me know.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Message me if you must, but don't be one of those people who start
a conversation and then just go completely blank after a couple of
messages (alas, this happens all too often). Either don't start a
conversation or at least give a reason to finish it... I mean, it
annoys the bejeesus out of me when people don't finish their
I believe that free things should be free, so if you like me don't
do that 'star' thing, because I won't see who you are - just drop a
hello or a full stop if you can't talk!
Additional: I have noticed from these 'match up' things, that a lot
of my highest matches are Bisexual Ladies... Whilst this is very
good, and I have very much love for the LGBTQ community, why is it
that on a lot of Bisexual Ladies' profiles it usually says 'All
types of girls welcome to message/chat, but only certain men who
blah blah' (usually have some superficial trait or some such
noise)... I would really like to know why that is... We don't all
turn into drooling perverts at the mere mention of a little Lady
Love you know! :-)
Additional Additional: What's all this nonsense about
Beards/Moustaches?! I know its all the rage these days to look like
a Grizzly Bear in an Amish village, but think about it people, does
a beard make them any more witty, intelligent or a better person in
general? Or are you just following fashion. It's the fashion isn't
it? Check out a person, not a beard for Jeebus' sake! Or watch
'Portlandia' to see how silly it all is.
Additional X 3: I have also noticed that Vegetarians are the least
racially frightened and most easy-going people on here... You go
you Herbists you!!!
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.