Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


35 Portland, OR Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24-37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 18
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and it’s important
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -Ernest Hemingway

I listen to Hanz Zimmer whilst driving and pretend I'm on the cusp of some epic event, as opposed to something more mundane like driving to the store for eggs, or back to the gym because I forgot my stuff.

I'm Agnostic, which literally means 'without knowledge.' So, I'm humble enough to not pretend that I know a particular thing, when I don't actually know it. I'm also a pragmatist. I believe I apply these two ideologies in almost every endeavor I undertake.

On that note; to my knowledge, a magical bearded white guy does not live in the sky. If he does he sounds like an asshole.

I read lots of books but I rarely understand what I'm reading so I just furrow my brow and pretend. Similarly, when people speak to me about matters Of import I just nod my head and smile.

Oh, I'm left-handed. To me that is significant. Though I'm not sure why. Probably because it's my only shot at being a minority, thus providing me some much needed street cred.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Woodford Reserve
TSA pre-check
Ernest Hemingway
Currently H.S. Thompson
POTUS 2016
Time zone management
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Getting through airport security really fast


Yelling at, and degrading the TSA

Being cordially obstinate

NOT bringing anything from this website to fruition

telling who the good guys are. My people meter is fucking dialed in.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm dumber than I look. (And I look pretty feckin dumb.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The Sun Also Rises
All Quiet on the Western Front
Anarchy Evolution
The Old Man and the Sea
The Closing of the American Mind
The Closing of the Western Mind
A People's History of the United States
A History of Knowledge
The Untold History of the United States
The Davinci Code

The Grand Budapest Hotel
Igby Goes Down
In Bruges
Medicine for Melancholly
Star Wars Trilogy
Lost in Translation
The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Motorcycle Diaries
Reign Over Me
The Big Lebowski

Bruce Springsteen
The Decline, by NOFX
The National
The Black Keys
John Lee Hooker
Bad Religion
Thievery Corporation
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Flogging Molly
The Weakerthans
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Donald Trump sound bites
The ability to count
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Planning an adventure that will likely be deemed il-advised by most.
Update: probably on a plane, or listening to ragtime.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I used to stutter
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You do NOT watch Fox News for any reason other than sheer comedic entertainment. Or perhaps if you're researching idiots, sycophants and crazy people.

Also, If you believe in a magical, bearded white dude who lives in outer space, chances are we might not go very far for very long. But I'm open if you are.

You liked most of the movies I listed I would probably have no choice but to be very fond of you

I'm often surprised at how so many people do not see my facetiousness for what it is. I'd like to think I'm laying it on pretty thick but I've received some silly questions regarding my profile. Please have a sense of humor. At least a little bit.

As a side note, it's unlikely I will message you. I'm actually quite shy at first, which, in part, brings me to this website... Cheers.