Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I listen to Hans Zimmer whilst driving and pretend I'm on the cusp
of some epic event, as opposed to something more mundane like
driving to the store for eggs, or back to the gym because I forgot
I'm Agnostic, which literally means 'without knowledge.' So, I'm
humble enough to not pretend that I know a particular thing, when I
don't actually know it. I'm also a pragmatist. I believe I apply
these two ideologies in almost every endeavor I undertake.
On that note; to my knowledge, a magical bearded white guy does not
live in the sky. And if he does, he's an asshole.
I Elvis as a verb.
I read lots of books but I rarely understand what I'm reading so I
just furrow my brow and pretend. Similarly, when people speak to me
about complicated matters I just nod my head and smile.
I wear my obscurity on my sleeve via malnutrition, tight clothes
and bad tattoos. That way everyone can see how original I am. I
love to dress up like elvis Costello and hit the mean streets of
Portland on a Saturday afternoon and judge everyone who doesn't
look super sad, pensive and poor.
Oh, I'm left-handed. To me that is significant. Though I'm not sure
why. Probably because it's my only shot at being a minority, thus
providing me some much needed street cred.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
After two years traveling the country for work and play, visiting
other countries, and exploring all that I could, I'm moving back to
Portland, readying myself for commitments, and settling down. I may
even get a dog! Because of my disdain for taxes, and Portland's
increasing popularity, I may endeavor to live on the Washington
side. Don't judge me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Getting through airport security really fast
Multi-day wilderness backpacking
NOT bringing anything from this website to fruition
Elvis-ing as a verb
buying shirts that fit me perfectly then shrinking them in the
dryer after one use, rendering said shirts useless
picking things up and putting them back down then picking them up
telling who the good guys are. My people meter is fucking dialed
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm dumber than I look. (And I look pretty feckin dumb.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The Closing of the American Mind
The Closing of the Western Mind
A People's History of the United States
A History of Knowledge
The Untold History of the United States
The Davinci Code
Angels and Demons
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Igby Goes Down
Medicine for Melancholly
Star Wars Trilogy
Lost in Translation
The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Motorcycle Diaries
Reign Over Me
Man On Fire
The Big Lebowski
The Perks of being a Wall Flower
The Daily Show
Real Time with Bill Maher
The Decline, by NOFX
The Black Keys
John Lee Hooker
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
And my Raybans
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
in the gym picking things up and putting them down because I lack
Update: probably on a plane.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've got good birthin' hips
You can tell me how not to fail at Burning Man.
You will be supportive of my endeavor to learn to drink scotch.
(I'm going to Scotland soon so this must happen beforehand.Update:
Went to Scotland. I am now a former scotch drinker. I've moved on.)
Incidentally, I'm going to Paris and am now trying to learn
Please do NOT message me if you watch Fox News for any reason other
than sheer comedic entertainment. Or perhaps if you're researching
idiots, sycophants and crazy people.
Also, If you believe in a magical, bearded white dude who lives in
outer space, chances are we might not go very far.
You take good care of yourself, within reason. Vices are more than
ok, but having a complete lack of concern for your physical,
mental, and emotional health makes for a less captivating
You don't mind that I dropped the F Bomb twice in my profile.
You liked most of the movies I listed I would probably have no
choice but to be very fond of you
you are ok with a slightly abrasive, yet not quite sardonic sense
you didn't have to look up the word sardonic just now.
you were, somehow, able to discern some of the more truthful,
sincere comments from all of the BS I wrote.
you had the interest, gumption, and spare time to actually read all
of the afore-mentioned bullshit I wrote on this silly page.
you want to go snowboarding, backpacking, or have a fondness for
beer, wine, and conversation.
As a side note, it's unlikely I will message you. I'm actually
quite shy at first, which, in part, brings me to this website...
Who are you looking for?
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