Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello! I'm looking to add more people to my life, either as friends
or romantic interests. I am relatively new (slightly over two
years) to polyamory but finding it very interesting; it seems to
fit my fundamental personality, and also my beliefs about the world
and human nature.
I am currently involved with one person. I met jeff___
on here-- good work, OKC
algorithm! Nonetheless, there is definitely still room in my life
for more love and connection.
Some of you may have seen me here before under another name.
Earlier this spring I was doxxed (had my personal information
published online, including excerpts from my OKC profile) by one of
the lovely users on the website where I work. I was pretty freaked
out and hid my profile for several months; now I'm venturing back
out under another name.
My new name comes from an old joke among programmers: "it's not a
bug, it's an accidental feature." Something I have noticed about
people, myself included: every aspect of who we are comes with both
positive and negative attributes.
For example, I have great emotional intelligence (feature) but have
been labelled "too sensitive" (bug). I'm capable of big intuitive
leaps (feature) but sometimes those leaps are incorrect and I don't
realize it for a while (bug). I sometimes procrastinate unpleasant
tasks (bug) but I often do so by cooking or baking for people I
care about (feature).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm born but not dead... there's no telling what I'm liable to do.
(lightly paraphrased from Zora Neale Hurston)
My professional background is in social work, but I have found a
new career doing community management for a video gaming website.
(I promise I am not making that up.) It's a weird life, but
definitely an interesting one! I work from home most of the time,
which means that meeting new people (and generally not being
isolated) is an ongoing challenge. I also spend most of my time
which people younger than I am (20s and 30s) which means that I
don't always have a ton in common with people my own age.
I consider myself a geek and find that I almost always end up in
relationships with programmers / engineers / web architects /
project managers. It's not required, of course, but we'll connect
better if you at least have some background in geek or internet
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Balancing pragmatism and idealism. Being a mom. Finding new ways to
be paradoxical. My job. Telling stories. Remembering your stories
for an improbably long time. Puzzles and resource-management games.
Helping people sort out their thoughts and feelings. Helping people
sort out their closets and basements. (Seriously, you have never
had a cleangasm like you will have with me.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Big smile, big rack, big brain. I like those things about myself,
so I'm okay with having them noticed.
It's also true that I have big honesty (with myself first and
foremost), a big ass, and big emotions. I am not always completely
comfortable with those parts of me, but being human is a package
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
When I was little, I wanted to be a librarian. I never went that
route, but I have spent 3+ years (at various points in my adult
life) working in bookstores. I love talking about books, analyzing
books, comparing books. I'm not a snob, but I do have opinions. I
won't be pushy, though, and I'm interested in your thoughts as
In recent years I have gone to very few movies. I still love
80s-style action movies, though-- ask me about my favorite movie
explosions of all time. I do enjoy occasional romantic comedies,
though I don't expect anyone to watch them with me if they aren't
Overall I think that genre fiction/film deserves more appreciation.
Like a sonnet, the constraints are significant and the artistry is
in how one works within those constraints to create something fresh
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Assuming basic needs (food, water, shelter) are met...
-my medications (silly immune system thinks pollen = doom,
-connections with other people
-being able to contribute to the world in ways big and small
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Everything... and then wondering why I can't stop thinking about
EVERYTHING. It's another featurebug.
To clarify a bit, I think a lot about life, human nature and human
interactions. Who are we? How could we structure our society to
better balance the goals of personal freedom and interpersonal
connection? Am I arranging my life in a way that is consistent with
my values and priorities? Am I so busy trying to *understand* life
that I have neglected the actual business of living?
If all this sounds like boring gibberish, we probably wouldn't get
along (or would quickly run out of conversational fodder). If it
sounds like interesting gibberish, though, maybe we should talk.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Since I have half-time custody, half my Friday nights are spent at
home-- usually chatting online or playing video games. (My son's
bedtime is 8, so I have time to kill after he's asleep.)
The other Friday nights... well, let's just say I try to make the
most of my weekends off!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't consider myself physically beautiful. In my experience,
people typically are first attracted to my mind, sense of humor or
personality; only after that do they begin to find me physically
Most men who message me here begin by stating that they find me
beautiful, which I find irritating. I tend to ignore messages that
begin that way, simply because I think "If your first statement to
me is a self-serving lie, what's the point in responding to you?"
That's quite possibly too harsh, but it's also true.
You may find me reasonably attractive from my photos; indeed, I
assume that you won't message me unless you do. But we'll get off
to a better start if you don't immediately assert that I'm
amazingly gorgeous and stunningly sexy. As one of my bosses used to
say, years ago, "Don't blow sunshine up my skirt!"
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
OkCupid thinks we'd be good together, or if you like what you see.
Be sure to check the questions section-- I have an assortment of
chatty replies over there. :-)
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