And you realize that those blinding, burning sparks you desired--and feared--have forged another link in the wondrous chain of human connections of your life.
There are no regrets, only love.
"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other."
--Rainer Maria Rilke
Exactly. We can't escape solitude. But we can mock the universe that made this law by loving someone else from the depth of our unbreachable solitude to the depth of their unbreachable solitude.
“If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”
The truth of those words (whether Bob actually uttered them or not) rings stronger and stronger every day.
The great myth of the modern dating world is that I'm going to find someone who's easy and amazing.
Sure, I can find her...at the end of the rainbow, standing next to the Easter Bunny in a herd of purple unicorns.
Good luck to me on that.
But I don't want easy. I want amazing:
I want a big, messy life full of Love.
If it has problems, contentions, disappointments...so be it.
The one necessary agreement is honesty.
There's no such thing as sex or relationship problems.
There are only honesty problems that happen to involve sex and relationships.
Wants and desires are great: they make me human.
But expectations are the seeds of resentment and demands are the seeds of conflict.