If we're honest, we can always follow our heart because whatever difficult place our hearts may lead us to, honesty can always lead us back out.
"Love with your heart. Use your head for everything else."
I was reminded today that life, and OKC, are not about finding anything or anyone; life, and OKC, are all about the search. The finding does not matter.
Have you seen the movie "Her"?
Besides the fact that it is an excellent movie, it is the best movie about relationships in a long, long time.
If you have dismissed it because the story is about a man falling in love with his computer's operating system, please put aside your prejudices. That conceit is just a point of departure for looking at the nature of relationships. (Besides, he's falling in love with Scarlett Johansson, not a computer operating system.)
The fantasies we have of sex and romantic love are no more real than falling in love with an operating system.
The truth is that, great as sex and romantic love are, neither is a cure for loneliness.
Getting wrapped up in looking for "the one" or looking for "the one night stand" can both be selfish and destructive.
Believing that either sex or romantic love (or both) is a cure for loneliness and the demand to make this current sexual encounter, this current romantic relationship the cure for loneliness is likely the cause of all the strife in our relationships.
There is no such thing as holding onto a relationship. It is like trying to grab a fist full of stars...a fantasy forever out of reach no matter how much we demand it, want it, reach for it.
The only thing we can actually do is to fully experience the relationship as it is, right now.
Bringing the demand that this new sexual encounter, this new romantic relationship cure our loneliness only dooms the sex, dooms the romance because we can never be present for the experience of what that relationship truly is if we are looking for something in it which does not exist.
I hope you are fully present today for whatever you are doing.