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53 M San Diego, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Not at all
Other, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Esther Perel on "desire":

If we're honest, we can always follow our heart because whatever difficult place our hearts may lead us to, honesty can always lead us back out.

"Love with your heart. Use your head for everything else."

I was reminded today that life, and OKC, are not about finding anything or anyone; life, and OKC, are all about the search. The finding does not matter.

Have you seen the movie "Her"?

Besides the fact that it is an excellent movie, it is the best movie about relationships in a long, long time.

If you have dismissed it because the story is about a man falling in love with his computer's operating system, please put aside your prejudices. That conceit is just a point of departure for looking at the nature of relationships. (Besides, he's falling in love with Scarlett Johansson, not a computer operating system.)

The fantasies we have of sex and romantic love are no more real than falling in love with an operating system.

The truth is that, great as sex and romantic love are, neither is a cure for loneliness.

Getting wrapped up in looking for "the one" or looking for "the one night stand" can both be selfish and destructive.

Believing that either sex or romantic love (or both) is a cure for loneliness and the demand to make this current sexual encounter, this current romantic relationship the cure for loneliness is likely the cause of all the strife in our relationships.

There is no such thing as holding onto a relationship. It is like trying to grab a fist full of stars...a fantasy forever out of reach no matter how much we demand it, want it, reach for it.

The only thing we can actually do is to fully experience the relationship as it is, right now.

Bringing the demand that this new sexual encounter, this new romantic relationship cure our loneliness only dooms the sex, dooms the romance because we can never be present for the experience of what that relationship truly is if we are looking for something in it which does not exist.

I hope you are fully present today for whatever you are doing.
What I’m doing with my life
I am an art student.

I went from being really good at what I do (teaching) to being really, really new at what I do (creating art).

Scary as hell.

I'm used to being the curve-wrecker in a class not the curve chaser.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Matching up likes and dislikes seems unimportant to me in having meaningful relationship between human beings.

Perhaps it’s because of our educational system that we’ve come to believe in this type of comparison. We’ve been taught that cofmpatibility by comparison is the best way to go through a system of grades and tests and checked-off boxes and beefed-up resumes that is very good at limiting opportunities by process of elimination.

This system works quite well for keeping an exclusionary educational system functioning; but, for establishing a true human connection, it just does not work.

The pop culture artifacts we like and dislike, in my experience, seems not important.

How we treat each other seems to be everything.

If we...

...have a strong, mutual physical attraction
...enjoy being together, alone, doing nothing
...respect each other...

...I'm sure we'll figure out something to read, something to watch, something to listen to, something to eat that we both like.
The six things I could never do without

If I have those, I don't need any more.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 37–53
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're willing to brave the fire, with no guarantees, to find...whatever you find.