I am sorry if I showed up on your "Quiver". I have no control over it and it is equally as awkward when you show up on mine. Okc... they can make a quiver box but they can't make "undeclared" a sexuality option.

Figures.

So, realistically you will not "get" or appreciate my humor. It does not relate well without some sort of vocal inflection and even then my ideas are lost on a certain percentage of the population. Don't be upset if you are part of that percentage. Trust me, it's the "norm".

A sickly-sweet, chewy center surrounded by a bitter, crunchy outer shell. Oh... and I'm not here for dating. What a shame, I know.

I haven't yet decided how I feel about others. Sometimes I am very fond of them, other days I can't figure out how they stay alive. This has an interesting effect on my behavior, depending on my mood. It's fun to watch, from a distance.

I don't see value in being outrageous just for the sake of shock value. I am not and have never been someone to shy away from something just because it's a little out of the ordinary but I firmly believe all claims - wild or not - should be based in something resembling reason.

I mean at least try.

I am nosy and persistent, I cry when I'm sad, I like to be alone and I don't trust anyone. I have a little bit of Julie Lawry from "The Stand" and Matilda from "The Professional". That means I'm impulsive and scary. There's a long list of others but it will expose me as the obscure, narcissistic oddity that I really am. Also... you will read this later but I really really like pomegranates.

If we have a higher than 20% enemy rating, I might chose not to talk to you. Don't let that discourage you - let it be an incentive to try harder.

Okcupid may just be the bottom rung, but the staff written tests rock and the social experiment is unparalleled. I am entertained but not... interested. Try to grasp that.

If you find me offensive, I recommend taking a step back and evaluating why. Then write me a REALLY nasty email to explain in detail. Make me important. Okay??

Editors

• CWESQ

Sucking it up.

I am tired of being needed and I am looking for people who can play on the level. I want friends with a taste for reality. I really want to meet interesting people who like to share ideas and change the world. Barring that, anyone who bathes regularly and doesn't make googly eyes at me is fine.

I am trying to make myself the person I want to become... whoever that may be.

I want a dog more than almost anything in the world right now. I need to make a few modifications in my life for that to be a possibility.

I am tending my first real garden. I might be more excited about this than is healthy, but I also have the most amazing fresh lettuce I have ever tasted. So there.

Working with children.

Editors

• rainbowswearing

Withdrawing from society. Convincing people I like them more than I actually do. I spend my free time counseling friends and rebuking unwanted attention from strange men.

I am good at finding practical solutions to most complications.

It may sound cliche, but I am good at learning most new things. I have a short attention span and am more adept at developing a new skill than I am at perfecting an established one.

Making others needlessly uncomfortable. I seem to get a kick out of that on occasion. Also, rocking the worlds of those I get close to. I've been know as highly influential in some circles. Not every circle mind you.

Well initially, I got a high social intelligence score so I guess that means I am good a judging sincerity and honesty in others. Could have fooled me.

I'm a lot. And all over the place. Most people notice I'm messy and confusing (the smart ones anyway).

Some people notice that I'm lonely, but more just think that I'm friendly. Which I am. Irritatingly so.

My expressiveness.

Morbidly intellectual and tragically obtuse - at the same time I still have a heart. My neighbor calls me "alpha and competitive" but he means it with LOVE!

Usually all anyone notices is my dust as I flee. On that note, the best way to sever any potential friendship or contact with me is to make inappropriate advances. If I want your adoration, I will ask for it explicitly. I am only half joking.

Left to Tell, Machete season, Diary, Great Shark Hunt, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Maus, Mancrazy, The Glass Castle, The Missing Piece, The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, Naked. Mostly I read plays... Jose Rivera, Mastrosimone, Inge, Albee, O'Neil and Miller.

Directors like Darren Aronofsky(my hero), Michel Gondry, David O. Russell, Christopher Nolan (for Following and Momento, I assure you), Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Richard Linklater, Lars von Trier, Alejandro González Iñárritu, Pedro Almodóvar. I love indi films, foreign films, thoughtful films, heartfelt films, and I tend to be insufferable when forced to watch what I deem Hollywood crap.

Amanda Palmer, Rasputina, Bob Dylan, Ani Difranco, Clint Mansell, Yann Teirsen, Phillip Glass, Modest Mouse, The Decembrists, Bright Eyes, FLOBOTS, Jason Webley, The Postal Service, Kronos Quartet, Elizabeth and the Catapult, Eggplant, David Bowie, Evelyn Evelyn, Danny Elfman, Kanye West, Natalie Merchant, Damien Rice, Tracy Bonham, Fiona Apple, Regina Spektor, They Might Be Giants, Pink Floyd, Leonard Cohen, Bomani "D'Mite" Armah, Shel Silverstein, Tom Lehere.

Anything good. We all have our own tastes. Mine could be described as expanding. Almost anything with pomegranate. And I am sorry to any vegetarian who finds it offensive, but I love good vegan/vegetarian food and I am not one myself.

Will, wit, desire, caution, communication, tactile stimulation

How I can influence the minds of my generation? Do I know myself well enough to speak emphatically of my beliefs? Will I lose my ambition once I realize it will never bring me peace?

How gross I find a looks based society. DON'T BE SO DAMN INSECURE!

Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

Fridays we'll clean the house, I'll do the laundry and cook a fabulous meal. We'll watch a movie and usually he'll fall asleep on me while I surf the Internet until we both go to bed.

I used to write "looking for someone to talk to" but there's never anybody interesting online Friday nights.

I'm easy - and impossible. I do care, but I'd rather not and I'm only as mean as you make me. If you understand all that, then you're doing much better than I am.

Occasionally I am completely incoherent. Cope.

I am much less appealing than I may seem at first.... as shocking as that must sound.

Deergoose is indigenous to my island.

I absolutely LOVE Okcupid couples (when they both have profiles and especially when they met here). I think they're adorable in every way even if they have their drama.

I have more in common with the squid-brained police officer on Invader Zim than I'd ever admit in person. "PLEASE don't leave me on land..."

You know what self control means and you don't consider yourself desperate. I mean that's just preliminary. Maybe I should say DON'T message me if you can't meet those basic requirements. Other than that, I like long, involved conversations with like minded people. I like creative people who enjoy language. Don't let the brusqueness fool you, I am pretty friendly if I don't find you offensive.

If you'd like to influence the changing tide of the world - and need help. If you're compassionate and considerate and not so lonely that you ever need someone. If you plan to travel and want some company. If you can forgive me being in love with someone else. If you want to bake some cookies or roll some sushi. Basically, if you're not a DICK.

Yes, my logic is functional. Yes I consider myself liberal. And NO I don't worship the western model of economic success. If you can't grasp that - kick rocks.

If you want to correct my spelling and feel no particular urge to convert me to capitalism... then whatever. I can take it. If you're bored and lonely, I am a great pen pal - JUST LEAVE THE WEBCAM OFF!! Jesus. Some men and their junk.

I don't know... might as well try it. I took down the key questions so now you don't have to be scared.

In all seriousness though, if you are at all of the queer-friendly, jew-loving, hippy-hugging, nature-walking, garden-tending, free-thinking, future-minded sort, feel free to send a message. (Sarcasm demanded that I end that with FUCK OFF but if people took me with the seriousness I asked for at the beginning of this paragraph, it held the potential of devastating my fan base.)