I have an extensive profile because a profile is about who and what you are. I happen to be a complex being. If you are not comfortable with a boy completely open about his sexuality then I suggest you browse another profile. This profile is a record of me and an depth window into my life.
Yes... I know my profile is long. While it only scratches the surface of who I am I tried my best to be upfront, honest, and transparent about who am. This way if you message me I feel you already know me and I'm not going to intimidate you or scare you off, you know what you are getting into ;)
Artist, Designer, Photographer, Scientist, and Engineer.
Exploration and experimentation is the driving force in my life. I am an established artist (Sculpture, Photography, Glass, Light and Optics) working in technologically advanced sculptures and 2d works and have created artwork for a few well know events, bands, celebrities, TV shows and movies. I have contributed to major elements of the Burning Man festival, helping literally thousands of projects get lit up including multiple large scale artworks, art-cars, camps, bikes, and costumes.
I have a fascination with Light. I don't have a particular reason or origin for this, my brain just constantly thinks about the scientific properties and artistic potential of photonics and optics. It straddles the fine line between obsession and fetish.
I am also a professional photographer. I never leave the house without my camera, and recently upgraded to an amazing mirrorless interchangeable lens camera that is compact enough so I can take my best equipment with me wherever I go. I am currently expanding my portfolio of portrait and figure work including classic nude and erotic photography. My profile does not capture my professional work so if you are interested in shooting with me I invite you to check out my website.
Here you can see my light sculptures, photography, and artist statement on my website to get a better idea of what makes me tick.
^^^ Yup... that's my full name. I really have no issue with linking my profile with my personal and professional life. I'm rather upfront and really have nothing to hide. I'm me.
My Fetlife ID is Boyinoakland
Sexual Identity and Orientation.
I’m not the stereotype male persona. I do not identify myself as a Cis-male. While I do not look androgynous, I feel androgynous, gender queer if you will. I am not overly masculine or feel strongly one way or another about my male identity; I just try to be me. I am rugged and strong, but drawn to cute and colorful. I surely have a strong, manly, and masculine side that is outwardly present when you first meet me. But while I do not identify as female or trans, once you get to know me my feminine side becomes more apparent. I am happy when I can be comfortable around those where I can be myself and feel balanced.
I am very open to sexuality. While I am attracted to many who identify as female, I am not opposed to playing with boys and those in between (and have) if there is a rare physical and mental attraction. So I am Queer, or more better defined as Pansexual.
I'm Queer, not Bisexual. This means I am attracted to those who I find attractive. I am primarily attracted to female and androgynous types. I like Girly Fem types (without a princess complex), Tomboys/boyish types, I LOVE Androgynous types, Queer types too. I also have a thing for girls with short hair, tattoos, and piercings, but not a requirement at all. I like a thin, average, or confidently curvy girl. I am generally attracted to people around my age or younger, but if you're sexy you're sexy and age means nothing. Race is no issue at all. What's most important in qualities are confident, smart, daring, and a good personality.
As for Boys I am VERY PICKY, but feel free to contact me. I am not into Manly Men; again I find Androgynous types hot. I am open to Trans folk and Gender Fluid. But honestly it's rare for me to be attracted to anything but skinny/toned white boys.
Relationships, Partners, and Polyamory.
I have considered myself Poly for a while, and only become involved with long term partners that are comfortable with me keeping the connections I have and honor my freedom to make new connections as they happen.
I am indeed single, while I am currently involved in multiple meaningful relationships with wonderful and sexy friends, I do not have a partner/girlfriend.
Trust, honesty, and communication with partners are non-negotiable requirements for me. I only have sexual contact with those who have been recently tested and meet my strict standard, and I am indeed picky. If I reach out to you it means I see true potential between us and it is my hope it is seen as a compliment. I always use protection with sexual contact unless we have an established bond with each other where I can [literally] trust my partner with my life.
Kinks, BDSM, and Sex Stuff
I am a Switch in every sense of the word.
I am Dominant because I am submissive. I am a sadist because I am a masochist. I am a top because I am a bottom. These are not contradictions, nor is it hypocrisy. My life revolves around experience, skill, knowledge and experimentation.
Being a Switch is not Black and White, I am a Gray that becomes lighter or darker in relation to those around me. As I appear at first as a tall, strong, masculine guy I tend to attract exclusively submissive or vanilla girls so more often than not I take the Dom route, and quite enjoy it a lot. But when I am approached by cute girl that it confident, firm, and assertive you might as well slap a collar on me; I’m yours. But ideally I seek a fellow switch, one to harmoniously rebalance one another’s wants, needs and desires.
Regardless if I am in a Dominant or submissive role I get off on pleasing my partner. As a sub I will give and do whatever my Domme desires of me, use me as they wish, their toy, their slave, their pet. I want to relinquish my power, I want them in control, to take me, use me, mark me, and take me to beyond.
When I am in a Dominant role it is more complex. I know what my sub wants because I have been there, in their shackles, in their mindset; I understand. As a Dom I am getting off on pleasing my partner as I see fit, using them as I wish in absolute control, but also by fulfilling their desire to surrender, guiding their journey into subspace. Likewise I seek partners that find pleasure in making me happy and fulfilling my needs.
I am not into humiliation and degradation in a traditional sense. I will tease you, boss you around, objectify you as my toy, tie you up, cover you in my cum, and call you a slut/bitch/whore/cunt because I like you, but never in a negative manner. I will NOT call you stupid/worthless/ugly, point out your flaws, make fun of you, or have you do anything you don’t really want to. I respect my partner, I want my partner to respect me, and I want to be able to respect myself.
I enjoy bondage and pain. Usually I am the one in control, but it is always nice to find a partner that enjoys having power over me. I like to know I can trust the person in control, and never doubt I am safe; to be restrained or fully immobilized, to fully surrender, to fully trust, to just be. The joyful helplessness knowing you are not in control, powerless, with no responsibility other than to exist and submit to what is to come. I also proudly admit I love a girl using a a strap-on with me. I like progessive pain and restrictive bondage. I like being flogged, spanked, scratched, bit, and so on. But I like to build up to more intense sensations, and do not enjoy a sudden escalation of a surprising out of context punch or whip. I want to feel the intense sensation that is pain; I don’t enjoy being violently hurt. As a Top I treat my partners in the same manner.
I have a high pain tolerance. I identify as a masochist that is also a sadist that wants to share with others the joy of pain. When topping it means everything to me to have my partner fully submit and trust me to mark and color their body as my canvas and give them the sensations and mentality they yearn from me to provide. I love how it makes me feel; alive. I love the endorphin it releases and the odd happiness and peace that washes over me. I have been known to laugh a lot more than whimper. I also love being marked. My skin is very susceptible to coloring, I have pale skin and simple nail scratches leave a nice line, while toys and implements leave clearly defined marks. I heal VERY quickly, so marks that last over a week have to be deep. I crave this, being heavily marked, being able to "feel" it for days, watch them change color and progress. I have an attraction to the beauty of them. I love the connection and trust I feel as I am marked, and especially enjoy the conscious my minds enters, the lovely Subspace.
I am certainly an exhibitionist and a voyeur. I am no stranger to the camera nor playing in groups or in front of others. Not only do I like getting naked playing with my partners in front of others like at Bondage A Go Go (BAGG) ,The Upper Floor and SFCitadel, I also enjoy playing in a group. I love threesomes, more-somes, and fun kinky gatherings among friends. Being poly and pansexual goes hand in hand with creating a positive environment were we can all play, fuck, cum, and have a fun sexy time without drama or jealousy. There are a lot of fun positions and exciting dynamics when more than than just two of us playing. But just because I am an exhibitionist does not mean others have to be so. I am fully respect my partners who want to play intimately together one on one, or in just the privacy of the bedroom, or are camera shy. I am not out to change anybody, nor am I about to stop being being myself.
New Play Partners and Friends
New Real Life Friends: I like meeting people. I especially like creative folk. If you want to meet up just ask or you can bump into me at the SFCitadel, BAGG, Mission Control, or The Armory/Upper Floor. I like going new places that mix good drinks and craft beers, play good music were where there is still a place to talk, or going on adventures in the Bay. Otherwise I do a ton of non-kink stuff as you can see below, if any of that sounds interesting send me a message.
New Play Partners: If you feel we might have potential don’t hesitate to message me, I love it when someone makes the first move, plus it is unlikely that I have seen your profile as I rarely browse profiles on this site. I would enjoy meeting:
-a fellow Switch for ongoing balanced play.
-a Dominant girl to push my limits, control me, mark and use me...
-a fun Submissive girl to have some fun with bondage, rope, marking, training...
-a cute girl (or the right boy, or any gender) that just wants to have some kinky fun.
I should mention again that play is only possible after establishing mutual trust and respect. I am not looking for a quick fuck or fling. Right now I have multiple partners I share my life with, keeping them safe means keeping myself safe. While I am admittedly picky [if you haven’t already] please read the end of my Sexual Identity and Orientation section at the top to see my sexual preferences for partners. Send me a message even if you think you’re not my type, I am pansexual and most of my partners have been outside the box on what I “thought” I wanted.
Random Stuff About Me
I am an introvert. I am quiet, observant, and a people watcher.I am just as comfortable staying at home as I am in a crowded event. I make conversation with those who interest me, not out of boredom for small talk. I am quiet because I am constantly thinking. I am a very good listener and conversationalist once I get an idea of what you are all about. And get me talking about something that interests me or ask me what I am thinking about and I will go on and on. Many times I really need a person to just listen as I think aloud.
I speak my mind but am very easy to get along with.
I am loyal and protective; I will always stand up for myself and friends. Avoiding anger and violence at all costs, I will gladly defend myself and fight for others when it comes down to it.
I am a night owl.
I am usually pretty good at making people laugh, always good at cracking up my friends and making light of or relishing in an awkward situation.
I think my Viking ancestry is pretty bad-ass. I'm a American mutt with Norwegian/French/Irish blood.
I have a slight Bostonian accent.
I’m 6ft 3in tall, 178lbs.