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28 Astoria, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18-30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 7:37am
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
6' 3" (1.91m)
Body Type
Average build
Atheism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
English (Fluently), Japanese (Somewhat), Latin (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Born in Detroit, raised on curry, found my passion in words, invented stories out of sticks and stones, had several birthday parties, was scared of the basement, saved a dog once, met the voice of Master Shake twice. You get it.

I've been told that I look like Danger Mouse (the rapper), Neil DeGrasse Tyson (the science guy), and some guy's friend's brother (an astronaut cowboy). I clearly look like Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.

I'm a big guy. For you. No hotheads allowed.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I was going to turn this profile into a choose-your-own-adventure, but that saga deserves its own profile.

Meanwhile, I'm looking for a career right out of college as an English major with a minor in film. Go ahead, ask me a word, and I'll give you one in response, or just ask me about movies (which I call frogurt).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Frogurt, writing, writing while watching frogurt, reading about frogurt that involve writing, riding frogurt about reading, and being a friend to all children and animals.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Possibly my intimidating stature, but don't worry, I am easily dropped with a sock full of quarters. But please, only quarters. I'm not a fan of nickels.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - Lolita, The Thin Red Line, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...though mostly I read subtitles on foreign-language movies which look like books if you squint.

Movies - Rather than rattle off my saber of sharply esoteric film choices, I'll just tell you the directors I enjoy: Tarkovsky, Kaurismaki, Kubrick, Kurosawa, Fassbinder, Kiarostami, Nolan, Tarantino, Jodorowsky, Cronenberg, Ozu, Hou, Wong, Truffaut, Malick, Bay, Welles, Bresson, and sometimes (why not?) Hitchcock.

Shows - I've watched The Simpsons far longer than I should have and still do. Been down The Wire while I was Breaking Bad with Sherlock. And of course, anything by PFFR and/or Tim and Eric. Anime in general has my vote this November with a life-long devotion to Yuru Yuri.

Music - I enjoy songs about dragons, vikings, warring with demons and gods, groin-grabbingly transcendent love, forbidden love, dancing and having a good time with friends, face-smashing, skull-bashing, and achieving your dreams in relation to hearts or tigers.

Food - I prefer stuffing myself with popcorn, but I understand that other food can be good as well. Halal makes me holler, and fried chicken gets my ticker stickin'. I love all world food equally, because it's the current year.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My ability to write, my ability to laugh, others' ability to acknowledge my right to live, my skill in not inducing murder in others, and my living conditions.

And I guess I need another one, so...glasses?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
a robot, a witch, a vampire, a ghost, an alien, a monster, an angel, and a zombie. Two lesbians ten years apart and an ageless love. Mutant police in the future. Death and her boyfriend. A bisexual Native American woman and her pedophilic lesbian supermodel roommate and best friend.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
riding my motorbike into the fifth dimension to the eternal beach where the life dolphins play in sweet-pink waters.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a crush on Venus Xtravaganza. Tragedy what happened to her.

I also appeared in the Onion, sports section to be specific. So you know I'm fakely athletic.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you want to see a lot of baby races and discuss them in-depth. I like to think that I'm a good conversationalist on that topic, and experience has borne that assumption out.

You like planned events and on-the-fly box socials.

Or if you're just a nice person with no part of your brain protruding from your skull. Ironic, I know.