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26 Lakewood, OH Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Used up
Strictly anything
Trying to quit
Atheism, and laughing about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Less than $20,000
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name is Ryan and I adore long walks on other people's beaches and candle light dinners.

I play D&D, which I am not ashamed to admit.

I'm painfully sarcastic and I like to make bad jokes for my own amusement. Mostly puns. Terrible puns.

Tested as ENFP if those letters mean something to you.

According to Okcupid "you appear to be “more geeky” than straight men your age." Probably.

I swear to the God I don't believe in I'm not as boring in person.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Probably drinking too much and being weird.

Trying to find my first ex-wife.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Actually forgetting how old I am, being cynical and swearing a lot in conversation.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sideburns and/or my glasses? Or my stupid tattoos. Frequently told I look like Macklemore or that one guy from that movie, Fear and Loathing, you know the guy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Most anything by Kurt Vonnegut, Chuck Palahniuk, Jack Kerouac, Tolkien, Charles Bukowski, and H.P. Lovecraft.

The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, The Big Lebowski, Taxi Driver, Wet Hot American Summer, This is England, Drowning Mona etc.

Louie, Peep Show, 30 Rock, Tim and Eric Awesome show, Workaholics, Squidbillies, Strangers With Candy, Parks and Rec, Comedy Bang Bang, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, and that's basically it.

I like a whole bunch of different music. Aesop Rock, Sole, Beach Fossils, Slow Magic, At The Drive-In, The Mars Volta, Atmosphere, Against Me!, Phantogram, Horse The Band, Ween, The Jonbenet, Soul Coughing, Cat Stevens, Crystal Castles, Kvelertak, Nujabes, Grimes, Widowspeak, Nick Drake, Blockhead, The Misfits, Purity Ring, Skalpel, And So I Watch You From Afar, The Bronx, WHY?, a myriad of shit.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How being a mammal is awkward.

Why humans are bad animals.

How annoying those fucking swipe left ads are.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Potentially at a bar or at a show.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I enjoy dancing and could teach you how to dougie (I actually could). I also steal wheat pennies from my work.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you think Tim and Eric are hilarious and hate slow/stupid drivers.

You must absolutely only chew with your mouth closed, this is important to me.

Also if you hate sports, because I despise them and couldn't care less.

If y'all wanna ride bikes around der Cleve or sneak into old abandoned buildings, I NEED TO TAKE MOAR PICTURES.

I have a tendency to send messages when I'm drunk, so sorry in advance.