CliffsNotes: Born in Pittsburgh, PA. Teen years in Albuquerque, NM.
College at Northwestern (Evanston, IL). Now... Silver Lake. Writer
("My Boys" on TBS). Dog person. Cheese lover.
I try to keep my side of the street clean... and take things one
day at a time. I know where I'm going and I definitely know where
I've been. I have giant goals but try to keep myself free from
giant expectations. I believe in progress... not perfection.
And I believe time wounds all heels.
Stuff I dig? Football and "Top Chef". Coq Au Vin and New Mexican
green chili cheeseburgers. Taylor's and Tommy's. I've stayed at
Blake's in London and the Motel 6 in St. George, Utah. (Hey, they
always take dogs.) I love Blue Note jazz and the Ramones. Motown
and Bowie. Oldies and Queen. Flew to Albuquerque a few weeks ago
just to see Iron Maiden... and am so not afraid of the 5th
Dimension. Totally down with New Order and the Cocteau Twins.
Food field-trips and the Rose Bowl Flea Market? Huge.
Not a mama's boy... but I do take the old lady to a Steelers game
every year. (Steelers/Skins 10-28-12.)
You will not come home to find me buried beneath a pile of empty
Bud cans. I do not play video games. I do not have a tattoo. (Would
that "Van Halen" look good now... on my shoulder? Exactly.) I do
not wear body spray. I do not spray tan. I have a ton of t-shirts,
but none that say "Affliction". Or "Mayhem". Or "Christian
You will never receive an email or a text or an old Polaroid of
my... you know. Not sure when this became a thing, but... we're not
Not a fan of corporate pizza. I do not understand Applebee's,
Chili's or the Olive Garden. (I do, but I don't.) And I do not
believe in "Men's Health," "Details," or "Esquire."
I'm the train they call the "City of New Orleans".
Trust me, I'm listening. Always.
You. Independent. Responsible. Confident... yet humble. Thoughtful.
(That's a big one.) And someone who's not afraid to say, "F#*% it,"
every now and then.
In short... a work in progress. Like me.
THE KEY: A sense of humor. God, if you can make me laugh... that
would rock. Massive points for that.
At the end of the day, I'd love to hang with someone who vibrates
at a similar frequency. And is willing to fight for it.
What I’m doing with my life
I wanna grow up to be... be a Debaser. Debaser. Debaser.
I’m really good at
...at... at... uh... you know. Whatever. Stuff. Actually, I'm good
at finding things like the Bee Gees' "How Can You Mend a Broken
Heart" on YouTube. (You're welcome.) And going to see Morrissey.
I'm great at that.
The first things people usually notice about me
My Louboutins. Then the makeup. Then the wig.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Top Chef, Canele in Atwater Village, The Big Lebowski, LOST, Animal
on Fairfax, Beatles/Who/Clash/Replacements, Wurstkuche, Shaw Bros
Kung Fu films, Lazy Ox, Project Runway, the bar at the Edendale,
Bourdain's "No Reservations", the Grill 'Em All truck and the taco
truck on Alvarado (just north of Sunset), Rush and just about
everything recorded in the 60's.
The six things I could never do without
1 - The Rose Bowl Flea Market
2 - The Grand Tetons
3 - Sonic Youth
4 - The Hollywood YMCA
5 - New Mexican green chili
6 - My dog Ozzy. He's a cattle dog.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
... the loveless fascination under the Milky Way tonight. 2) The
Grove trolley. The Americana trolley. I mean... where do they
REALLY go? And do I really wanna go there?! 3) Seriously... can
they do something about the parking lot at the Silver Lake Trader
Joe's?! 4) I need to get inside the Celebrity Center. Just to see
it. I bet it's rad. 5) Life is so brief... and time is a thief when
you're undecided. And like a fistful of sand it can slip right
through your hay-yay-yands. 6) The Shakey's Pizza near Santa Monica
& La Brea is not a Shakey's. It's a portal to the seventh plane
of Hell. 7) I haven't been in the Beverly Connection in, like,
On a typical Friday night I am
... on the couch. Just hammered. Blotto. Silly. Completely purple.
In my underwear. Watching "Deadliest Catch" on the ol' Tivo. With a
giant pizza. And a box of donuts. In my underwear. Blech!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I do not know what to do with women who throw faux gang symbols
with their hands when taking photos. If you and your friends do
that... you know, by the pool at Mandalay Bay... it's a pretty good
sign that I should stay the f*ck away from you.
You should message me if
... you are my mother. And can lend me $10,000. And are willing to
support me while I stay at home to make a non-living watching ESPN.
And... and... your crazy, tattooed, jobless, alcoholic "ex" is
still lurking around in the background. Because I love dealing with