Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hey guys! I'm Brandon. Let's see, what else... There has to be more
than just my name... Well, I live in south philly and I love it. I
work for a restaurant in center city and I love it. I have a black
cat named Barky and I love him. And I'm single! Which I don't
really love. (I sometimes don't hate it either..)
I guess I'm here looking for someone who can pay all my bills and
take me on fun vacations.
Well, vacations would be fun, but my ideal mate and I would equally
contribute to the vacation fund.
Speaking of ideal mate.. He would be attractive (and by that I just
mean someone I find attractive. And that can vary greatly to what
"normal" people find attractive) he would also be funny. Or at
least understand all my stupid jokes. I do tell a lot of them. If I
were a muppet I would be fozzy bear. (Wakka wakka) ideally, I would
like to find someone who has time for me. I don't work a typical
schedule so I would like to find someone who was flexible. If you
wake up at 6 every morning, we may run into some complications as
I'm much more of a night guy. Not that I sleep all day, I'm just
usually up later than most. I like all kinds of guys but when I'm
in a relationship, I only like one guy. You! (If you're lucky) not
into the whole open relationship thing, at least I'm pretty sure I
wouldn't be into it. But never say never, huh? So if you think
you're up for the challenge, send me a message. You never know what
might happen next!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently I'm enjoying my life. The past few years since my last
relationship have been eye-opening to say the least. I know this
sounds cliche but I've really learned a lot about who I am as a
single guy and who I want to be as a boyfriend. As bad as my last
relationship was I'm very thankful it happened. Because of that
rough time I've grown to really love myself (almost completely!).
I'm working on it every day and I'm the happiest I've ever been in
my life. For real! I workout almost everyday and have put some
really great positive people in my life. But I have room for a few
more. As long as they're not big on complaining and feeling bad for
themselves. I don't really have room for those guys.. So much
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at fast forwarding through commercials. Like, I'm a
fucking pro! Other good things are finding the positive in any
situation. And I can do it in a non-annoying way. I promise I'm not
one of those overly positive-bubbly-guys. Just a normal(ish) guy
who doesn't like to dwell on bad junk.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I guess people usually notice my huge tits! And I don't blame them,
I've got a great rack! But after that I hope they notice that I
have a "everything can be funny" type of personality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm admittedly a tv junkie. Mostly funny shows. Like snl, 30 rock,
parks and rec, bob's burgers, Seinfeld, strangers with candy, Broad
city, inside Amy shumer, Roseanne, alf, etc. But I also have a
thing for the housewives. I know that might be a big turn off for a
lot of yall but I just can't help it! They suck me in every
As far as books, I like any autobiographical novel written by funny
women. And funny men. Of course I liked Tina Fey's book, mindy
kaling, Rachel Dratch, Jane Lynch, Sarah Silverman, Chelsea handler
and those that followed. But I also liked Dan Rather's book "Rather
outspoken" (and clever, if I may) and "what remains" by Carole
radziwill. Speaking of housewives, I also read Brandi glanville's
book. The whole thing...
For movies I again like funny movies. Romy and Michelle's high
school reunion, clueless, space balls, Robin Hood: men in tights,
superstar, wet hot American summer, and dumb and dumber (ps, I did
not see dumb and dumberer or dumb and dumber to.. I love the
original too much and don't want to be left with a bad taste in my
Speaking of tastes in my mouth...
I am a meat eater. I love beef, chicken, chili cheese dogs, bbq
junk and bacon. But I sneak some vegetables in there too to balance
it out. I'm not a super picky eater but I don't really like a lot
of fish. Especially sushi. I've tried to like it but I'm just not
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Well, boys. Sounds so junior high, but I spend a lot of time
thinking about y'all. I'm kinda boy crazy. And I have a pretty wild
imagination. Just seeing a cute boy on the street can send my brain
into imagining a whole life together. Like our wedding, mundane
fights over nothing and what an ikea trip would be like. But I
swear I'm not crazy!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either working or hanging out with some friends at dinner or a bar
or both. Or, having a night in to myself. Where ill watch bad tv,
order worse food and do a lot of organizing and moisturizing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I watched "The Carrie Diaries" and not just to make fun of it. I
actually enjoyed it. Please don't look at me... I'm so mortified!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have an open sense of humour. If you don't take EVERYTHING so
seriously. I like to have fun and so should you. Say hey, we'll
grab a drink and see what happens. You never know...
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.