Your mood is about to irrevocably improve as a result of finding this profile. "I hated OkCupid and secretly much of humanity," you'll say to yourself, "but then I found a stunt driver in a scorpion jacket who was violently unstable." Cue the synthpop.

Ice cream. Cinnamon churro ice cream or, even better, Washington Apple Pie ice cream. I recently opened a tub of apple pie ice cream and went to town until there were only a few bites left. Then I forced myself to put the tub back in the fridge, because I didn't want to live with the shame of having finished the whole thing.

In all seriousness, I'm a pretty lucky bastard. I love my work, I love my community, I love my life--plenty I'd like to improve, but even more to be grateful for. The commute to Thousand Oaks isn't actually the worst thing ever, because I get to sing in my new car. I'd tell you more about what I'm working on outside of work, but I'd rather show you. I like LA, but I'd prefer to spend fall and winter in NY.

I fucking love sweaters. Not even kidding. I have worn them as recently as May 29. Don't hate.

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Squirting chocolate syrup all over your naked body. Actually, I have never done this. But someday.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it, would a post-structuralist buy the soundtrack? If you attend yoga class but aren't wearing Lululemon, does it count? And if you're wearing Lululemon, do you have to go to yoga class, or can we do our own thing here at home?

Also: Chomsky, policy, and how to be more honest, more patient, and more compassionate.

Sex is nice, and pleasure is good for you. I like this article from Feminspire: Why I Never Play Hard to Get.

I also JUST found this: The Betch List

Once upon a time, it was smuggling Berkeley pledges through a West LA drive through at 3AM after they drunkenly crash a stolen Winnebago. They called me "the most epic bro ever." Yes, this did actually happen. (Who lies on OkCupid? Losers. That's who.)

These days I take it easier. The occasional podcast, the occasional video. I like to take the metro downtown to grab sliders and a cocktail, or head to Century City to catch a movie, nerding out with my phone, but other times I just kick it with my friends. The cat's good company, too, even if she is schizophrenic.

I like when friends hug.
Some squeeze and others embrace
Warm affirmation.

#gentleHaiku

It is crazy hot that you're successful, but there's nothing hot about working 60 hours a week.

If you message me first, that is really sexy.

In the end, there are two types of people: those who laugh at penis jokes, and those who are a little too stiff for my taste.