Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
First off, congratulations and hello! You're reading this, which
means you're alive. That's wonderful! Unless you're just some robot
reading internet code... In that case, you're not getting your
batteries back from me! I need them for the X-Box controller. Suck
If you're human, you're probably reading this because you're
attracted to tiny pictures of me. Good for you!
I am a quiet person who tends to a menagerie of exotic and domestic
animals. I maintain a healthy interest in the stellar, strange, and
amazing. I accept everyone but settle for nothing less than the
best when it comes to me and mine.
I've an atomic-grade wit and a creative spark that's burned many a
boring moment down. I am always working on a personal project or
creative endeavor for myself or for a friend.
I know what I am good at and I keep my life on track at all times.
I am a total asset to those around me. I strive to listen and be
someone people go to when help is needed.
Life is great, it's time to share it. I'm looking for people who
are taking in the awesome and giving back out the worthwhile. We're
here on Earth to either laugh or cry, so we must make our own fun.
The best way for me to be is making others happy, I say. Care to
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am an enterprise installation manager at my career job. I put out
server fires and give customers the keys to new. shiny, chrome
software. All while never getting dressed, because I also work from
At my passion job, I work in the birds department at a zoo. I've
learned a secret language; I know which bird is talking and what
they're saying. I'm friends with the most dangerous bird on Earth,
but terrified of parrots. Ask me why?
At home, I hang out with two dogs, five cats, and have a tense
relationship with a Snapper Turtle I am raising. Imagine Tuesdays
With Morrie, where Morrie is a prehistoric beast that really wants
to eat your fingers. It wasn't enough to help raise zoo animals, I
enjoy the challenge of responsibly raising life at home, too.
I have achieved one goal of having a friend on nearly every
continent. Still trying to break the ice with Antarctica...
I travel every couple years to somewhere new to meet someone
different, but we always end up doing the same spectacular
I work out every day of the week. Weight lifting on odds, running
90 minutes on evens.
I'm a big brother to my next door neighbor. I like helping him with
his third grade homework (finally, math I can do!) and showing him
the Sega Genesis games I grew up on.
I've got a lot going on but I'm always willing to set aside a day
to meet someone new. Saturdays are ideal! It was the best day when
I was a kid, and I've kept that true in these (maybe) wiser times.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making others laugh. my spiritual calling: finding overlooked
comics and movies, my quest; writing, my forte; influencing minds,
my side effect; working on computers. a constant; making personal
gifts for people. my highest wish; not getting bogged down with
petty things, my talent; not being anyone's fool: the golden rule.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I stopped aging 10 years ago. When we're 90, I'll look 75. I'm
banking on that senior citizen center play.
My natural elven ears. I am a leprechaun, but the only gold I aim
to keep is you by my side.
My voice. It's like a much sexier ghost took over my vocal cords.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Neuromancer is my favorite book. I read about vampire hobos, killer
drive-ins, shamans resurrecting inside tumors, Vietnams in space
with bug armies, psycho priests with healing lightning, virtual
reality contests, vampire parasites invading New York, killer
clowns from otherspace, aliens protecting humanity from their own
universe-shattering powers, a story about Buddha fighting Jesus
across time to unlock the secrets of reality, and vampires wiping
out a small New England town (Damn that's a lot of vampire
I'm rereading the original Ninja Turtles comics. They're so
awesome. Shredder blows himself up and his corpse falls into a
dumpster. BRUTAL #1!
School In The Crosshairs
Survive Style 5+
The Last Wave
The Iron Man
I really like movies where people find they're not human, or aren't
meant to run with humanity, because I identify with that sentiment
very much. Nightbreed, Cat People, these types of movies speak to
Utopia: a British conspiracy thriller. AMAZING. Just
GameCenter CX - A Japanese show about a man who is locked
in a room until he beats a video game.
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - Awesome parody of Stephen
King and all things horror.
Rick and Morty
I've invested 15+ years of time in exploring music, mainly focusing
on electronic and experimental genres, which I really love.. It's
probably my most personal pursuit next to movies.
I have listed some songs I like below. It's accidentally a very
international list. Now you, too, can live vicariously off my
Yukihiro Takahashi - Disposable Love
Zuntata - Selflessness (Remix)
Mike and The Mechanics - Silent Running
Kershaw - Wouldn't It Be Good
Time Zone - World Destruction
Susumu Yokota - Song of The Sleeping Forest
Keith Ape - 잊지마 (It G Ma)
Phoenix Foundation - Black Mould
The Associates - Party Fears Two
The Highwaymen - Highwayman
Roky Erickson - Creature With The Atom
Ministry - Stigmata
David Bowie - Cat People
The KLF - Go To Sleep
Rubberbandits - Black Man
MACINTOSH PLUS - リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー
Yellow Magic Orchestra - Music Plans
Spoons - Blow Away
The Ricky Gervais Show
I like dousing steaks in horseradish and burning meats on hot
Ancient Rome by Panini
Et in Arcadia ego by Poussin
Dante's Inferno by Gustav Dore
Bruegel the Elder - The Tower of Babel (Vienna)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Humor, Making you laugh. Making myself laugh.
2. My creative pursuits. If I can't make myself laugh, I can sweat
out something creative and worthwhile.
3. One person to tame the world for. You're out there,
4. Electronic music. Programmed for excellence.
5. The 80's. Everything I like pretty much came from here. Hell,
*I* came from them, so I have no choice.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Does God have a visitation plan set up so we can see our cats in
Hell while we're in Heaven?
Do our puppies go to Heaven or are those just simulation puppies
that God makes for us so we feel better about the lack of naked
ladies in Heaven?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
saying that life, uh... finds a way.
Discussing over burrito feasts how badly America needs Bernie
Getting slamjam drunk on whiskey, staring deeply into my turtle's
eyes, wondering who is really in the cage.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If I've messaged you, you stand out, and I want to hear from
Message me if you're through with being bored and want to do
something fun, memorable, and fucking worth it. I'm always doing
something interesting, and you're invited if you have the desire to
If you haven't messaged me by this point of the profile, you
probably never will, so this is all I have to say to you.
Who are you looking for?
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