been laughing my ass off, reading some of the mens profiles.
I thought I would address some common themes.
"no drama, please."
OK, I'm a Woman. I will not only come to you and tell you how some girl dissed (yeah dissed!) my outfit, but I will tell you just how awesome my snarky reply was. I will then, wait to see the awesome look of approval on your face.. if it doesn't come, I'll go to the kitchen, start baking and try to not cry. ha..I'll probably cry. so much for no drama, right?!?!
"Im honest, I expect you to be, too"
Whats a girl supposed to do? You think she is going to look at that and go, "aw damn, I guess I don't fit his criteria".. um no.
and.. I have been around the block. If a guy is stating he is honest, you should run. Honest people don't tend to feel the need to state it. I didn't follow my own advice, last time, and now my heart hurts.
"my kid is my world"
yes, I get it, you all say it... It's like me saying I have a vagina.. It is figured!.
"if you have slutted around POF, own it"
Here are some of my many POF stories.
After talking to a man for a few days, I agreed to meet him. we met at a bar. He was already there, drinking, when I showed up. We had a great time and agreed to go out again. sealed with a kiss. The next day I get a very angry call, from said man, accusing me of making him fall off the wagon, after 7 years. It was his idea to meet at the bar.. But I was nice. I wished him luck on his bender and never spoke to him again.
The time I accepted a date by the wrong man:
I was so excited to finally go out with this man I had been talking to for a month or more. I got all dolled up and got to answer the door. A complete stranger is standing there, happier than anyone has ever been, to see me. It quickly set in that I had somehow mixed up two guys. I, to this day, am not sure how it happened. Both men had just moved to a small Montanan town.. both had just gotten divorced and had two kids.
This man had the oddest personality and wouldn't quit holding my hand...oh, yes, I went on the date. I would have hurt his feelings if I hadn't. I would try to rip my hand away.. and make excuses.. but he would find it.. and capture it, for his own. at the end of the date...after what seemed a lifetime of misery, I go to give him a hug..and he horse lipped me.. and did it so I couldn't pull away.
I call the guy I had wanted the date to be with.. told him what happened (almost in tears) and he promptly took me on some amazing dates.... where I learned that I wasn't into him.. it has been years, and we are still great friends, though.
The ex pro wrestler Juggalo:
While I was living in Texas, I had been talking to a man for a week or so.. He used to be a wrestler (I made him prove it!).. He was super sweet and charming. I accepted a date. We didn't make plans, all I knew was that he was going to pick me up.
He picks me up with a car full of his buddies. Drives me to his house and parks on the lawn. When he gets out of the car, hes twice the size of his pics and his friends are toothpicks, missing all their teeth. I kept a smile on my face and tried to act like everything was fine, as I sent a 911 text to my roomie. we go inside the house and the wrestler shows me his Authentic Replica of Excalibur. I couldn't help myself and asked how it could be an Authentic replica of a sword from a legend? he got really upset and told me he is pretty sure he is King Arthur's descendant.
As i'm sitting there, wonderin who this nut is and what happened to the sweet, funny guy I had been talking to, he and his methed out roomies, start to tell me about the juggalo lifestyle. this lasted about 20 minutes before I stopped finding it amusing and faked massive menstrual cramping.
ok.. here is me:
I know who I am.
I'm funny and sweet. I would give you the shirt off my back, because my first instinct is to be caring and helpful. I know this about myself and I need a man that is the same way. I need a man that is respectful, caring, sweet, funny and knows how to communicate with sincerity. I spend my life finding the best outlook and don't allow negative attitudes to penetrate. If you cant look on the bright side, with me.. go hangout somewhere else. Don't get me wrong.. I'm a tough cookie.. but I choose to always be happy!
I'm a music nut. I have a a burlesque group, 'Fever Fitz Burlesque'..and hopefully soon, a freak show. I have worked in music promotion, been a piercer, a glass blower and owned my own clothing line. I have also had every crappy job you can think of.
I like to be out at events, but I'm a sucker for a really really good, bad movie!
and that is me!