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24 M Austin, TX

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 2:27pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
I feel like a part of me has died ever since my Netflix account stopped being an accurate representation of myself.

My roommates fill it with shitty low budget action movies and crime dramas, my sister fills it with rom-coms and Lifetime type films, and then my 2 year old nephew uses it to watch Thomas The Train. The last one I'm not actually that upset about.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm an independent assassin-for-hire†. My job has me leaving town for weeks or months on end to Mexico¹, Israel², or Prague³, taking out political targets╘. Which makes me the guy standing in line, at the airport in a tactical turtle neck, holding an expense report.
I’m really good at
Getting drunk and making up fake history for the foreign tourists brave enough to wander by the capital building late at night.

Also, I make an amazing grilled cheese.*
The first things people usually notice about me
My bitchin' name.

My ability to simultaneously look like 30+ people you've met before. Thanks for telling me I'm an atypical white guy nicely...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books; I like maps, history books, and historical autobiographies. I also like sci-fi, fantasy, and mystery.

Movies; Yes.

Shows; Archer, House, Game of Thrones, Parks and Recreation, Scrubs, Workaholics, Walking Dead, Top Gear UK. Basically anything online, because I don't have cable.

You'll never find someone more apathetic to the type of music you listen to. I'm sorry if "Music is your life", so let me clarify. I love listening to music and going to shows. I'm not picky in any way. I like being able to find things I like in wide ranges of genres, and love even more when people want to introduce me to their favorite bands/artists. I don't get to surf around looking for new ones as much anymore.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Things I want to build, create, or do that I just don't have the ability to at present time, for what ever reason. They get filed away and brought up at a later time. I literally can't sleep some nights cause my head is just churning some idea about a automated cable cutter or something even more boring to most people.
On a typical Friday night I am
Helping GI Joe defeat Cobra.

In a wooded glen somewhere, punch-dancing my rage away to 80's synth-rock.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You enjoy hookah and are curious to try a meticulously crafted bowl that will smoke better than any other you've ever tried.

You want to be around me while I single handedly(read: drunkenly) solve all the world's issues, before snapping back into sobriety, deciding "fuck it", and just playing Mario Kart instead.

You want our first meeting to be people watching in the park.

Notes and References:

†-I work for a software company
¹ -Pennsylvania
² -Alabama
³ -Ohio
╘ -Training people how to press buttons.

*grilled cheese sandwich may not be up to any or all individual's taste preference, ethical/moral, health, religious, or whatever crap, standards you might have. If you actually make it to the point of getting to taste said fantastical piece of dairy heaven and are not thoroughly blown away, you may choose any fitting reparations, including but not limited to; interpretive dance, errand running, costume wearing, or silly voice making. Offer not valid in Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, Mormon Enclaves, or anywhere the average temp drops below 15.5C(60F) for more than a month out of the year and that isn't within an economically viable range of the Rocky Mountains, on a case by case basis.