Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


28 Oakland, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 20–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:22pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Trying to quit
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Has cats
English, C++, LISP

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Laugh, love, fuck, and drink liquor
Help the damn revolution come quicker

But if I'm being honest I mostly watch television and plan my Dungeons and Dragons game.

What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Opening a Vietnamese version of Benihana called "Phở Sizzle."


I live in Oakland with my partner, the beautiful, the delightful lieslweapon, and I spend a lot of time with my wonderful and elegant girlfriend, meeagan.

My relationship was once described by the great Jamie DeWolf as "poly as fuck." And our particular brand of polyamory has very few rules. If you want to date one or more of us, just for sex or for romance and cuddles, be you of any sex, gender, or orientation, cis or trans, castaways, cutouts, and kinksters, we take all comers! (Wink.)

Oh, and if you're travelling, and you want to crash with me, check out my Couchsurfing profile!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
People have told me that I'm good at teaching things, which is great because I love teaching things!

If anyone out there wants to learn juggling, Morse code, quantum physics, computer programming, how to drive a stick, how to make a delicious Sazerac, or why R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)" is the greatest song of all time, definitely drop me a line.

And I love learning new things, too, so if you've got something to teach me, let's trade, maybe?

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
To judge by the messages I get on here, they notice how hot my girlfriend is.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favorite Movie: books

Favorite Food: milk steak

Favorite Log: yule.

Favorite Yul: Brynner.

Favorite Brenner: David.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
Group sex
Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind
Donald Glover

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to be less of a white, male, cis douchenozzle.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Capitalism, and why it's such a huge bummer.

How do you diagram the sentence "The bigger they come, the harder they fall."?

What price (if any) should I pay for the Bottle Imp?

What if we went out and taught language to apes in the wild? Would they teach it to their children? Would they develop idioms? Myths? Cities? Could we still call them "animals"?

Wampeters, foma, and granfalloons.

Collective intelligence. Could an ant colony "think" as a singular consciousness the way we do? If it did, could we talk to it somehow?

Anything and everything on

Who wrote the Voynich Manuscript?

Garden path sentences and plausible gibberish. Though, a lot more people have written about this than I have.

So if the 'I' isn't where I think, does that mean it's spelled "Teimocyl"?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Wei wu wei.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
All genres of modern music sound like Pokémon attacks to me. Electro-grime, dark wave, psytrance. I'm almost certain my Drowzee used that last one on a Nidorino, and it was super-effective.

Also, one or more of the following statements is true of me:

I once spent two days in Cook County jail.

I once had a dream that I was a vampire, and that Buffy and I went to live together under the sea, because no one could accept our love for one another.

I have a tattoo of Calvin and Hobbes on my back.

I honestly think D.E.B.S. is a great movie.

I once helped Britt Daniel from Spoon purchase marijuana.

During my first acid trip, I became convinced that Steven Hyde from That 70s Show was taking over my mind.

I high-fived Peter Sagal at a Jonathan Coulton concert.

I went to a brothel in Nevada once, but all I could afford was a (free) hug from a porn star.

You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Drop the 'if'.