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28 M Oakland, CA

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 20–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:27pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Trying to quit
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Has cats
English, C++, LISP

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When I was a kid, I secretly dreamed of abandoning the world of material possessions and becoming a MATH HOBO! Riding the rails, and scrawling brilliant proofs on the sides of box cars with charcoal.

That dream has yet to fully materialize. But ya know, I'd settle for an Erdős–Bacon number and some sweet vacations.

Don't love the term "bi", but I'm some kind of queer. I like to think of myself as heteroflexible.

I like Burma Shave signs.

What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Opening a Vietnamese version of Benihana called "Phở Sizzle."


I live in Oakland with my partner, the beautiful, the delightful lieslweapon, and I spend a lot of time with my wonderful and elegant girlfriend, meeagan.

My relationship was once described by the great Jamie DeWolf as "poly as fuck." And our particular brand of polyamory has very few rules. If you want to date one or more of us, just for sex or for romance and cuddles, be you of any sex, gender, or orientation, cis or trans, castaways, cutouts, and kinksters, we take all comers! (Wink.)

Oh, and if you're travelling, and you want to crash with me, check out my Couchsurfing profile.

Also, the following people are awesome and we frequently awesome with them (no particular order):
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
People have told me that I'm good at teaching things, which is great because I love teaching things! If anyone out there wants to learn juggling, Morse code, quantum physics, computer programming, how to drive a stick, how to make a delicious Sazerac, or why R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)" is the greatest song of all time, definitely drop me a line. And I love learning new things, too, so if you've got something to teach me, let's trade, maybe?

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is that my hand is on their ass.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favorite Movie: books.

Favorite Food: milk steak.

Favorite Log: yule.

Favorite Yul: Brynner.

Favorite Brenner: David.

Favorite David: that's where it gets complicated.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Group sex
My collection of textbooks by David Griffiths
Psilocybin mushrooms
Donald Glover
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The Collatz conjecture.* Khinchin's constant. The Ehrenfest paradox. The Fischer-Griess Monster. Bell's theorem. Loschmidt's paradox. The Banach-Tarski paradox. Lychrel numbers. The holographic principle. Boltzmann Brains. Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

How do you diagram the sentence "The bigger they come, the harder they fall."?

What made The Bloop? (Resolved! Icequake!)

Big numbers.

What price (if any) should I pay for the Bottle Imp?

What if we went out and taught language to apes in the wild? Would they teach it to their children? Would they develop idioms? Myths? Cities? Could we still call them "animals"?

Wampeters, foma, and granfalloons.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Collective intelligence. Could an ant colony "think" as a singular consciousness the way we do? If it did, could we talk to it somehow?

How am I not myself?

Anything and everything on

Who wrote the Voynich Manuscript?

Garden path sentences and plausible gibberish. Though, a lot more people have written about this than I have.

So if the 'I' isn't where I think, does that mean it's spelled "Teimocyl"?

(* Possibly resolved? A natural generalization of the Collatz Conjecture is algorithmically undecidable.)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Wei wu wei.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
All genres of modern music sound like Pokémon attacks to me. Electro-grime, dark wave, psytrance. I'm almost certain my Drowzee used that last one on a Nidorino, and it was super-effective.

Also, one or more of the following statements is true of me:

I once spent two days in Cook County jail.

I once had a dream that I was a vampire, and that Buffy and I went to live together under the sea, because no one could accept our love for one another.

My car is named "Vera" after Jayne's gun in Firefly.

I have a tattoo of Calvin and Hobbes on my back.

I honestly think D.E.B.S. is a great movie.

I once helped Britt Daniel from Spoon purchase marijuana.

During my first acid trip, I became convinced that Steven Hyde from That 70s Show was taking over my mind.

I high-fived Peter Sagal at a Jonathan Coulton concert.

I can solve a Rubik's Cube in under 3 minutes.

I went to a brothel in Nevada once, but all I could afford was a (free) hug from a porn star.

You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Drop the 'if'.