43, single, never married, no children, looking for a partner for activities such as riding trains in January while not wearing pants, random acts of strangeness, dressing up as Santa Claus for a massive bar crawl, getting dirty, having fun. Willingness to wear tutus in the desert, an absolute plus.
At some point all of those events may happen at the same time. It'll probably be my funeral. Take the money and drink.
So here's the conundrum of writing a personal ad: How do you describe yourself without sounding like you're the most self-centered person on Earth? Careful, too little excitement, and you might seem boring. Fuck, I dunno.
Hi, I'm Mark, I'm amazingly outgoing in social situations, but insanely awkward when having a conversation with someone I'm attracted to. I mean, "I like turtles..." kind of stuff.
So...Wanna ride bikes?
I realize we're supposed to say that we aren't looking for "hook ups", but I really do enjoy spending intimate time with people; everyone deserves to feel loved, and I feel that body contact is a beautiful way to share that. I love cuddling and making out; the feeling when someone you're holding feels totally comfortable, relaxed and at peace is simply indescribable.
That last paragraph probably sounded really hippy or really creepy.
My life is weird right now, I've never been without a full-time job for this long, and it's honestly killing me. But it's also provided me with some amazing freedom, and my nights have been wonderful.
I'm part of several communities that mean very much to me: burlesque, hook suspension, and burners (as in Burning Man). They've all helped shaped who I am as a person, and have given me some of my closest friends.
It was kind of difficult for me to acknowledge that, but then the Dallas Observer gave me a "Best of Dallas" award for it, so....
Tales of the Cacophony Society.
Occasionally, the answer is "wear bunny ears and a tutu".
Burlesque, body suspension, Burning Man, slumber parties, Sunday brunch with bottomless mimosas, running around town in your underwear.
Alternatively, if you find any of that to be offensive, you should probably just move on to the next guy.