I am serious living, fun loving, and polyamorous.
My Self-Summary
Long married with kids, extended family, and friends. Husband has
also long had a female lover (secondary?) who is a lovely woman.
I've dated a few people, mostly men, over the last few years while
we've been polyamorous.
I'm idly interested in meeting someone local, male or female, for
an intimate relationship that includes friendship. ("Idly" means
I'm not likely to take initiative to message anyone, but if you
message me and we have some interests in common, I will respond,
and if there's a connection and interest, I will put energy into
the relationship).
I am interested in people:
a. whose other partners (if any) are reasonably comfortable with
polyamorous relationships (so yes, your other spouse or lover would
have to know about me and me about them and be open to at least
occasional communication with me),
b. who are committed to "equal" relationships including friendship,
mutual respect, honest and open communication, and
c. who like to sexually play and explore a bit on the dominant
bdsm side of things
orrrrrrr might like to explore touch and spiritual sexuality
d. have a fairly active life for themselves with time to fit me in
on a reasonably regular basis eg. once a week in person. (And can
deal with the fact of my own rather full life).
e. can see themselves making a committment to the relationship,
even though it is not "full time". (this would mean that it's not
something that you see as easily expendable eg. when you find
yourself with a monogamous partner :-))
Me? Left of centre politically, community minded, energetic but
fairly peaceful, calm person. I like to form deep friendships with
a few good male and female friends, and while I enjoy a fun party
and love new, interesting activities, I get my energy from my quiet
time. I have become a fan of scheduling but also like to keep
things open for possibilities. I love talking about religion,
spirituality, psychology and relationships/power/ control issues
and how they all tie together. I'm more inclined to
Buddhist and
Taoist and more recently,
New Thought thinking (yes, I have serious metrospiritual
tendencies. I like some activity and go through cycles of more and
less physical activity. I like doing "fun" and "exciting" things
imbetween my curl up on the couch and "veg" nights. I enjoy being
out of doors (beach/camping/woods) as long as it's reasonably
comfortable. I volunteer in my communities. I'm told by some I have
a good sense of humour, though I think of myself as being more
reserved (at least until I'm really comfortable). I'm told I'm
attractive. I'm way more conservative on the outside than on the
inside where I'm fascinated and interested in people whose lives
appear more dynamic (particularly in relation to what mine appears
to be at the moment).
As a side note: I filled out most of the OKCupid questions about 4
years ago or so. I suspect some things have shifted since that
time, but am not interested in spending the time to check in on
that. Most of the rest of this profile was written 2-4 years ago
and it still pretty much reflects who I am and what I'm
about.
Quick note on Quick Matches: I haven't been doing them. If you want
to see if I'm interested in you, please email me instead.
What I’m doing with my life
Working full time, guiding and assisting my kids (less so lately as
they've started to meander farther from the nest), a bit of
volunteering here and there, dating on and off, reading and
thinking about religion/ spirituality/ kink/ politics/
relationships (it's a cycle), learning another language (French),
eating out a lot with friends, plus miscellaneous projects. Most
recent course: French Other recent things learned...choir/voice,
reiki, belly dancing, kundalini yoga. Considerations for the
future: aikido. other dance.
I’m really good at
Writing, reading, being a friend, mothering, pretty much anything I
decide I want to do well (of course, that may beg the
question...since I suppose I might decide not to want to do
something I can't do well...I wonder if I do that? hmmmmmm),
multi-tasking, procrastinating on financial stuff, casual
hostessing on short notice, fitting in play time and new
experiences
The first things people usually notice about me
My hair? My grin? Some people say I have a sense of calm and peace
at certain moments. I'm pretty relaxed and easy to be around unless
I need to make sure something is "happening" eg. hosting an event
or something, in which case I do make sure things are taken care of
and match my energy to that need.
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
Books-- I used to read a lot but am finding that most of my recent
reading is on spiritual themes, if at all. And from the net.
Movies... Liked Juno, Shortbus, Little Miss Sunshine, My Big Fat
Greek Wedding. But I don't watch much tv or movies.
Music...Variety but not rap, and low tolerance for country. Love
World music (Indian, African, Andian ?, Eastern). Spanish guitar.
Checking out chant/healing sound. Leonard Cohen. Neil Diamond.
Rhythm and Blues. The Arrogant Worms for Canadian laughs. Getting
into folk.
Foods...."ethnic" (Indian, Thai, Greek, Sushi, Mexican....it's all
good....but pasta is wearing thin). Mangoes.
The six things I could never do without
OK, where on Mazlow's needs hierarchy do I answer this question so
as to make it interesting on a personal's site: food, water,
warmth, loving touch/relationship seems not to say as much.
Hmmm...things, not people.... A toothbrush definitely. Tea
(surprising but true...even though it isn't really a thing...so
maybe a big mug for tea....jasmine green, chai or Earl Grey, mint,
white tea, Cream Earl Grey. Vanilla Rooibos.) Something warm, cozy
and comfy...clothes, blanket? Maybe Chocolate, but is that a
"thing"? when you only have 6 and you don't really want a
consumable in the group. OK...on the premise that we have lots of
things but can't do without 6...... 1. a computer...I love to
connect with the world through the computer (ok, this needs to be
updated...my love affair with my computer is waning...it might be
quite healthy to give it up and enlightening. but oh nooooo...how
impoverished would life be then? :-) ) 2. a mug for hot, cozy
drinks, like chai latte's LARGE (not grande) 3. a comforter to
snuggle under, both with and without someone else 4. books 5.
something to create and play music on...it doesn't matter
what...with only 6 main things I'd have lots of time to play and
learn. 6. oh yes...and aforesaid toothbrush.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Not thinking. And relationships. And how to do something better
(I'm working on not thinking about this latter one as much as
well).
On a typical Friday night I am
Watching a movie or going out to dinner. Extra kids/people
over....or alternatively kidless and going out with friends for
dinner. Occasionally at a play (oooh, if you wanted to go to a play
wit me, that would be fun!) or music night.,,Friday's have no
definite pattern.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit here
Already said above. I'd do a better pic but I've already had the
experience of being approached on another site by my kids' soccer
coach without him knowing it was me (I think) and I had way too
much kinky stuff on there for me to come clean about my identity.
Especially given that his profile was pretty tame. Oh yes, I'm
definitely hoping to work toward more openness and honesty in my
life overall....but in some forums....they just don't need to know
what you've done in the local dungeon. ;-)
Update: I've realized I have no idea how to date women. I've had
friendships that have been oh so close but I've not known how to
take it to a physical, more than friends level. I've also dated
women as part of a relationship with her male partner or my male
partner but have realized that that's less than ideal as to
relating to that woman (at least in those past circumstances). If
I'm going to date women, I think it needs to be a more one on one
thing and generally separate from the men. How do I go there? Not
sure yet. But it will come some day.
You should message me if
1. you know me and want to say Hi C-C-...and various other
chitchat. 2. you think you'd like to chat a bit....who knows where
life goes? 3. you want some info about local poly/kink community
info, because I kinda like helping people out to get connected to
each other (call me the "Yenta" of group connections)