Long married with kids, extended family, and friends. Husband has also long had a female lover (secondary?) who is a lovely woman. I've dated a few people, mostly men, over the last few years while we've been polyamorous.

I'm idly interested in meeting someone local, male or female, for an intimate relationship that includes friendship. ("Idly" means I'm not likely to take initiative to message anyone, but if you message me and we have some interests in common, I will respond, and if there's a connection and interest, I will put energy into the relationship).

I am interested in people:
a. whose other partners (if any) are reasonably comfortable with polyamorous relationships (so yes, your other spouse or lover would have to know about me and me about them and be open to at least occasional communication with me),
b. who are committed to "equal" relationships including friendship, mutual respect, honest and open communication, and
c. who like to sexually play and explore a bit on the dominant bdsm side of things orrrrrrr might like to explore touch and spiritual sexuality
d. have a fairly active life for themselves with time to fit me in on a reasonably regular basis eg. once a week in person. (And can deal with the fact of my own rather full life).
e. can see themselves making a committment to the relationship, even though it is not "full time". (this would mean that it's not something that you see as easily expendable eg. when you find yourself with a monogamous partner :-))

Me? Left of centre politically, community minded, energetic but fairly peaceful, calm person. I like to form deep friendships with a few good male and female friends, and while I enjoy a fun party and love new, interesting activities, I get my energy from my quiet time. I have become a fan of scheduling but also like to keep things open for possibilities. I love talking about religion, spirituality, psychology and relationships/power/ control issues and how they all tie together. I'm more inclined to Buddhist and Taoist and more recently, New Thought thinking (yes, I have serious metrospiritual tendencies. I like some activity and go through cycles of more and less physical activity. I like doing "fun" and "exciting" things imbetween my curl up on the couch and "veg" nights. I enjoy being out of doors (beach/camping/woods) as long as it's reasonably comfortable. I volunteer in my communities. I'm told by some I have a good sense of humour, though I think of myself as being more reserved (at least until I'm really comfortable). I'm told I'm attractive. I'm way more conservative on the outside than on the inside where I'm fascinated and interested in people whose lives appear more dynamic (particularly in relation to what mine appears to be at the moment).

As a side note: I filled out most of the OKCupid questions about 4 years ago or so. I suspect some things have shifted since that time, but am not interested in spending the time to check in on that. Most of the rest of this profile was written 2-4 years ago and it still pretty much reflects who I am and what I'm about.

Quick note on Quick Matches: I haven't been doing them. If you want to see if I'm interested in you, please email me instead.

Working full time, guiding and assisting my kids (less so lately as they've started to meander farther from the nest), a bit of volunteering here and there, dating on and off, reading and thinking about religion/ spirituality/ kink/ politics/ relationships (it's a cycle), learning another language (French), eating out a lot with friends, plus miscellaneous projects. Most recent course: French Other recent things learned...choir/voice, reiki, belly dancing, kundalini yoga. Considerations for the future: aikido. other dance.

Writing, reading, being a friend, mothering, pretty much anything I decide I want to do well (of course, that may beg the question...since I suppose I might decide not to want to do something I can't do well...I wonder if I do that? hmmmmmm), multi-tasking, procrastinating on financial stuff, casual hostessing on short notice, fitting in play time and new experiences

My hair? My grin? Some people say I have a sense of calm and peace at certain moments. I'm pretty relaxed and easy to be around unless I need to make sure something is "happening" eg. hosting an event or something, in which case I do make sure things are taken care of and match my energy to that need.

Books-- I used to read a lot but am finding that most of my recent reading is on spiritual themes, if at all. And from the net.

Movies... Liked Juno, Shortbus, Little Miss Sunshine, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. But I don't watch much tv or movies.

Music...Variety but not rap, and low tolerance for country. Love World music (Indian, African, Andian ?, Eastern). Spanish guitar. Checking out chant/healing sound. Leonard Cohen. Neil Diamond. Rhythm and Blues. The Arrogant Worms for Canadian laughs. Getting into folk.

Foods...."ethnic" (Indian, Thai, Greek, Sushi, Mexican....it's all good....but pasta is wearing thin). Mangoes.

OK, where on Mazlow's needs hierarchy do I answer this question so as to make it interesting on a personal's site: food, water, warmth, loving touch/relationship seems not to say as much.

Hmmm...things, not people.... A toothbrush definitely. Tea (surprising but true...even though it isn't really a thing...so maybe a big mug for tea....jasmine green, chai or Earl Grey, mint, white tea, Cream Earl Grey. Vanilla Rooibos.) Something warm, cozy and comfy...clothes, blanket? Maybe Chocolate, but is that a "thing"? when you only have 6 and you don't really want a consumable in the group. OK...on the premise that we have lots of things but can't do without 6...... 1. a computer...I love to connect with the world through the computer (ok, this needs to be updated...my love affair with my computer is waning...it might be quite healthy to give it up and enlightening. but oh nooooo...how impoverished would life be then? :-) ) 2. a mug for hot, cozy drinks, like chai latte's LARGE (not grande) 3. a comforter to snuggle under, both with and without someone else 4. books 5. something to create and play music on...it doesn't matter what...with only 6 main things I'd have lots of time to play and learn. 6. oh yes...and aforesaid toothbrush.

Not thinking. And relationships. And how to do something better (I'm working on not thinking about this latter one as much as well).

Watching a movie or going out to dinner. Extra kids/people over....or alternatively kidless and going out with friends for dinner. Occasionally at a play (oooh, if you wanted to go to a play wit me, that would be fun!) or music night.,,Friday's have no definite pattern.

Already said above. I'd do a better pic but I've already had the experience of being approached on another site by my kids' soccer coach without him knowing it was me (I think) and I had way too much kinky stuff on there for me to come clean about my identity. Especially given that his profile was pretty tame. Oh yes, I'm definitely hoping to work toward more openness and honesty in my life overall....but in some forums....they just don't need to know what you've done in the local dungeon. ;-)

Update: I've realized I have no idea how to date women. I've had friendships that have been oh so close but I've not known how to take it to a physical, more than friends level. I've also dated women as part of a relationship with her male partner or my male partner but have realized that that's less than ideal as to relating to that woman (at least in those past circumstances). If I'm going to date women, I think it needs to be a more one on one thing and generally separate from the men. How do I go there? Not sure yet. But it will come some day.

1. you know me and want to say Hi C-C-...and various other chitchat. 2. you think you'd like to chat a bit....who knows where life goes? 3. you want some info about local poly/kink community info, because I kinda like helping people out to get connected to each other (call me the "Yenta" of group connections)