Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

LetsGetInnocuous

26 Phoenix, AZ Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:48am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Asian, Middle Eastern, Black, Native American, Indian, Pacific Islander, Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
Height
7′ 11″ (2.41m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Very often
Drugs
Often
Religion
Other, and very serious about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on med school
Job
Student
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Maori (Fluently), Urdu (Fluently), Sardinian (Fluently), Occitan (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
***
I want to start with a disclaimer that I'm tired of receiving endless pictures of boobs, asses, and vaginas. I'm not a piece of meat and don't appreciate the constant demands of bloppyjays and hammerjammers. It's presumptuous that all I want to do is have sex. So next time just try talking to me like a human being, because I have more to offer than just my amazing hairy body.
***

Despite my feeling that my previous profile was G.O.A.T., and can be seen linked below, I think it gave the (85% accurate) impression that I'm inscrutable. Trust me ladies, I'm scrutable. I love being scruted. Scrute away.

Old profile:

http://imgur.com/a/x5J0n
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a student. The classes I take are all sciences. Physics, chemistry, biology, that sort of thing. I will make every attempt not to bore you with the details if you prefer not to be! Unless you are smarter than me, which I will pretend to enjoy while secretly nursing insecurities about how you're going to leave me for the guy that non-ironically learned Latin "just because he thought it was interesting." WE ALL SEE THROUGH YOU, CHAD.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I got ranked Gold Tier in this season of League of Legends, so yeah, I guess you could say that things are getting pretty real.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sassy and proud
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have an extensive Blu Ray collection, but they're all of the orgy scene from "Eyes Wide Shut" on a loop. Apparently you can re-watch Blu Rays? No one told me this until very recently. In any case, if you want any Blu Ray discs of that scene on a loop (144p, lowest youtube quality to get maximum run-time), I will happily barter them to you for tacos or small dogs.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
LOL MY MUSIC, FRIENDS, FAMILy, L(OVE, FOOD,. Adn sLEEP (oMg I LoVe SlEePiNg dOn'T tElL nObOdY lol i"M sO lAzY!)

If you read that sentence and now hate my guts, congrats, we might be compatible!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Trying to be clever, and as a result I make many of the worst jokes you've ever heard. You will need to be comfortable with this, as I probably won't become funnier anytime soon. I will apologize, but let's be honest: I'm not going to stop being terrible and will assume that you secretly love them despite groaning or making faces. Some of them you won't even recognize as jokes, as they're just me purposefully trying to ruin social situations. But deep down, we'll both know the sad truth: nutella is more fattening than peanut butter.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working on whatever I tend to be studying, which borders on obsessive about scientific minutiae in ways that are not necessarily helpful. The other night I was dreaming about calculating the solubility constant of gold chloride in water, and thent his mysterious fox showed up because I'd recently eaten a Guatemalan insanity pepper (also known as the Merciless Pepper of Quetzalacatenango) and tells me that I need to find my soul mate. I follow him across the desert and my spirit guides -- wait, no, that was an episode of The Simpsons. Anyway, if I recall, the episode ends with a cargo ship full of hotpants crashing, and the end credits roll over the song "Who Wears Short-Shorts?" What a hilarious non-sequitur, right? Oh, those Simpsons!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are Kory Stamper, associate editor at Merriam-Webster, who will one day provide me with many strong sons when the red comet brings tiding of Azor Ahai's return.

Also, there's a certain amount of requisite respect that I've come to expect that I realize is not always super common. If you have some strongly held personal belief on whatever partisan issue, and can't imagine being civil to someone that believes "x," then I'm probably not the person for you. I entertain notions I don't agree with all the time. I give the benefit of the doubt when possible. If you can't return that, then we probably won't get along super well.