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CJ_SnakeHips

30 M Carrboro, NC

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 21–50
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Jul 29
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$60,000–$70,000
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), German (Okay), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(Big Update: I finish graduate school this semester and will be moving to Portland, Oregon in July for a really rad job. Hooray!)

I'm constantly amazed by the awesomeness of my life. It's full of amazing friends and lovers, fulfilling work, fun hobbies, music, and dancing. I hope for a world where we all take good care of each other so everyone feels welcome at the awesome party we build together.

I wear a lot of hats that I really like: I'm an academic, I'm an opera singer, I'm a dancer, I'm a stand-up comic, I'm a writing coach, I'm an arts fundraiser/organizer. It feels like my plate should be full, but I'm still hungry to explore the world and all the wacky, creative people in it.

[also, I wrote this when I first joined in January and I was just thinking I'd revisit it and do some editing, perhaps to tone down the ebullient positivity and capture that perfect tone of OKCupid snark, but you know what, fuck it, this is totally who I am, and yeah, I am this happy, so come play in my world, it's a super fun place]

Also, the awesomeness of my life is partially because of me being awesome and putting a lot of work into it, other parts of it are because of awesome people who surround me, but the opportunities and circumstances I have are also informed by HUGE amounts of white, cis-male, hetero-presenting, credentialed/institutional, class, and able-bodied privilege that I have. I do my best to be a strong ally who uses this position in a way that's helpful to others, and I'm still working hard on speaking less and listening more. Also fuck white supremacy and fuck the patriarchy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm exploring and answering questions. In my professional life, I do this about music, mostly about jazz and it's interactions with dancing bodies. In my personal life, I'm exploring my own mind, body, and heart. I'm trying to listen closely to what they want and to explore the extremes of what they're capable of.

I'm helping. I'm helping people write better. I'm helping people experience music more meaningfully and critically. I'm helping folks raise money to make awesome music. I'm helping people move their bodies with joy and confidence. I'm helping people laugh and smile.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Dancing, especially with a partner. Generally anyone who trusts me to hold them in my arms is gonna have a great time. I'm working on learning to follow well and to be more of a badass dancing solo. For the sake of keywords: I particularly love swing dancing (lindy hop) and blues dancing, but I'm up for dancing anywhere to anything, just ask the people staring at me on the subway platform.

Teaching. Pretty much any job I've had that I've liked involved teaching. I have a knack for it and it makes me feel like I'm living a life of service, which is super important to me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My body. It's probably dancing, it's often the only one.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This is going to be a project for awhile I suppose, so let's start working on the music section. This is my passion and my profession so I like a lot of music. I'll do this as a series of top 5 lists:

Top 5 Composers: (All Genres)
1. Charles Ives 2. Beethoven 3. Duke Ellington 4. Mary Lou Williams 5. Allen Toussaint

Top 5 Singers: (All Genres)
1. Marvin Gaye 2. Fritz Wunderlich 3. Aaron Neville 4. Jan DeGaetani 5. Bessie Smith

Top 5 1930s Swing Bands:
1. Chick Webb 2. Count Basie 3. Fletcher Henderson 4. Charlie Barnet 5. Jimmie Lunceford

Top 5 Big Band Arrangers:
1. Fletcher Henderson 2. Van Alexander 3. Edgar Sampson 4. Sy Oliver 5. Benny Carter [edit: how did I not put Don Redman front and center on this list?! I totally fucked that up.]

Top 5 New Orleans Musicians: (All Time)
1. Louis Armstrong 2. Art Neville 3. Professor Longhair 4. Mahalia Jackson 5. Jelly Roll Morton

Top 5 New Orleans Musicians: (Contemporary)
1. Big Freedia 2. Meschiya Lake 3. ReBirth Brass Band 4. Tuba Skinny 5. Ellis Marsalis

I'll keep working on this...

[update: by "I'll keep working on this..." it turns out I meant: "hey, I've got a full life to live and dancing to do and a dissertation to write, so fuck listing out all this shit...I like a bunch of movies and books and such. I also like a lot of food, you can find out what when we go on a date and I order or cook it!"]
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My awesome wife, loving friends, great dancing, good music, laughter, avocados.

Also allyship.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Music, music, music, dancing, dancing, love, relationships, comedy, sex, food, race, politics, travelling.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dancing and/or telling jokes
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People think I'm confident and secure in my body. Sometimes it's a "fake it 'till you make it" kinda thing.

Also, I unchecked "casual sex" from my looking fors. I'm still totally up for sex with someone I've recently met and may not know for very long, but I've been realizing that, for me, sex isn't a "casual" experience. It's beautiful, it's intense, it's super fun. It's a truly awesome thing and I've never experienced it as "casual", not sure I would enjoy it half as much if it were.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to hang out and enjoy a good conversation or a night on the town. Or if you need a snuggle buddy-I'm great at cuddling. Finally, if you'll actually believe me that I'm in a healthy, loving marriage and that my wife and I both enjoy establishing, maintaining, and supporting each-other in forging new relationships with varying degrees of sexual and emotional intimacy. I don't like getting pegged as just another married guy trolling for sex. I'm trolling for connections, conversations, and nights out with fun people...ok, and also sex, sex is great!!

[Update: I've re-checked casual sex because I've become more interested in seeing if sex works for me as a light, fun activity where intense emotional intimacy is welcome but perhaps not necessary for pleasure. So, fun "not a big deal" sex is becoming increasingly appealing to me, but not to the exclusion of "big[ish] deal sex."

Also, if clear and intentional discourse about desire and consent is important to you. Being very explicit and clear about what I want and asking the same of a partner, especially when sex is involved, is a really big deal for me. So, if interrupting date chit-chat or sexy times for a potentially awkward conversation about likes, dislikes, intentions, and boundaries would be a big turn-off for you, we are likely not a good fit.