Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(Big Update: I finished graduate school in North Carolina this
spring, and I moved to Portland, Oregon in July for a really rad
I'm constantly amazed by the awesomeness of my life. It's full of
amazing friends and lovers, fulfilling work, fun hobbies, music,
and dancing. I hope for a world where we all take good care of each
other so everyone feels welcome at the awesome party we build
I wear a lot of hats that I really like: I'm an academic, I'm an
opera singer, I'm a dancer, I'm a stand-up comic, I'm a writing
coach, I'm an arts fundraiser/organizer. It feels like my plate
should be full, but I'm still hungry to explore the world and all
the wacky, creative people in it.
[also, I wrote this when I first joined in January and I was just
thinking I'd revisit it and do some editing, perhaps to tone down
the ebullient positivity and capture that perfect tone of OKCupid
snark, but you know what, fuck it, this is totally who I am, and
yeah, I am this happy, so come play in my world, it's a super fun
Also, the awesomeness of my life is partially because of me being
awesome and putting a lot of work into it, other parts of it are
because of awesome people who surround me, but the opportunities
and circumstances I have are also informed by HUGE amounts of
white, cis-male, hetero-presenting, credentialed/institutional,
class, and able-bodied privilege that I have. I do my best to be a
strong ally who uses this position in a way that's helpful to
others, and I'm still working hard on speaking less and listening
more. Also fuck white supremacy and fuck the patriarchy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm exploring and answering questions. In my professional life, I
do this about music, mostly about jazz and it's interactions with
dancing bodies. In my personal life, I'm exploring my own mind,
body, and heart. I'm trying to listen closely to what they want and
to explore the extremes of what they're capable of.
I'm helping. I'm helping people write better. I'm helping people
experience music more meaningfully and critically. I'm helping
folks raise money to make awesome music. I'm helping people move
their bodies with joy and confidence. I'm helping people laugh and
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Dancing, especially with a partner. Generally anyone who trusts me
to hold them in my arms is gonna have a great time. I'm working on
learning to follow well and to be more of a badass dancing solo.
For the sake of keywords: I particularly love swing dancing (lindy
hop) and blues dancing, but I'm up for dancing anywhere to
anything, just ask the people staring at me on the subway
Teaching. Pretty much any job I've had that I've liked involved
teaching. I have a knack for it and it makes me feel like I'm
living a life of service, which is super important to me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My body. It's probably dancing, it's often the only one.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This is going to be a project for awhile I suppose, so let's start
working on the music section. This is my passion and my profession
so I like a lot of music. I'll do this as a series of top 5
Top 5 Composers: (All Genres)
1. Charles Ives 2. Beethoven 3. Duke Ellington 4. Mary Lou Williams
5. Allen Toussaint
Top 5 Singers: (All Genres)
1. Marvin Gaye 2. Fritz Wunderlich 3. Aaron Neville 4. Jan
DeGaetani 5. Bessie Smith
Top 5 1930s Swing Bands:
1. Chick Webb 2. Count Basie 3. Fletcher Henderson 4. Charlie
Barnet 5. Jimmie Lunceford
Top 5 Big Band Arrangers:
1. Fletcher Henderson 2. Van Alexander 3. Edgar Sampson 4. Sy
Oliver 5. Benny Carter [edit: how did I not put Don Redman front
and center on this list?! I totally fucked that up.]
Top 5 New Orleans Musicians: (All Time)
1. Louis Armstrong 2. Art Neville 3. Professor Longhair 4. Mahalia
Jackson 5. Jelly Roll Morton
Top 5 New Orleans Musicians: (Contemporary)
1. Big Freedia 2. Meschiya Lake 3. ReBirth Brass Band 4. Tuba
Skinny 5. Ellis Marsalis
I'll keep working on this...
[update: by "I'll keep working on this..." it turns out I meant:
"hey, I've got a full life to live and dancing to do and a
dissertation to write, so fuck listing out all this shit...I like a
bunch of movies and books and such. I also like a lot of food, you
can find out what when we go on a date and I order or cook it!"]
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My awesome wife, loving friends, great dancing, good music,
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Music, music, music, dancing, dancing, love, relationships, comedy,
sex, food, race, politics, travelling.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dancing and/or telling jokes
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People think I'm confident and secure in my body. Sometimes it's a
"fake it 'till you make it" kinda thing.
Also, I unchecked "casual sex" from my looking fors. I'm still
totally up for sex with someone I've recently met and may not know
for very long, but I've been realizing that, for me, sex isn't a
"casual" experience. It's beautiful, it's intense, it's super fun.
It's a truly awesome thing and I've never experienced it as
"casual", not sure I would enjoy it half as much if it were.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to hang out and enjoy a good conversation or a night on
the town. Or if you need a snuggle buddy-I'm great at cuddling.
Finally, if you'll actually believe me that I'm in a healthy,
loving marriage and that my wife and I both enjoy establishing,
maintaining, and supporting each-other in forging new relationships
with varying degrees of sexual and emotional intimacy. I don't like
getting pegged as just another married guy trolling for sex. I'm
trolling for connections, conversations, and nights out with fun
people...ok, and also sex, sex is great!!
[Update: I've re-checked casual sex because I've become more
interested in seeing if sex works for me as a light, fun activity
where intense emotional intimacy is welcome but perhaps not
necessary for pleasure. So, fun "not a big deal" sex is becoming
increasingly appealing to me, but not to the exclusion of "big[ish]
Also, if clear and intentional discourse about desire and consent
is important to you. Being very explicit and clear about what I
want and asking the same of a partner, especially when sex is
involved, is a really big deal for me. So, if interrupting date
chit-chat or sexy times for a potentially awkward conversation
about likes, dislikes, intentions, and boundaries would be a big
turn-off for you, we are likely not a good fit.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.