So. Me:

I don’t especially like drastic or sudden changes, yet I still find myself secretly yearning for them.

I'd rather be the table than the chair.

I never slurp the leftover milk from my cereal bowl.

I’ve devoted more time that I care to admit to things most people care little about.

I’d rather receive a physical letter than an email.

I find that the randomness of nature and life only magnifies their beauty.

I think love is more powerful than we know, yet we continue to demonstrate how little we actually know about it.

I can’t stand gummy bears.

I used to want to be a dinosaur when I grew up. I’ve since outgrown this aspiration. Mostly.

I always catch myself believing that I can accomplish the most in the least amount of time.

I have a profanely intense love for antiquated and "used" things.

I’d rather buy a magazine than read a blog.

I’m still not sure what I’ll be when I grow up.

Trying to figure it out, really, which is where everyone is when you really think about it. For me, the pursuit of success is nuanced and open to personal definition.

Also, I'm in ardent pursuit of adventures of all sorts and kinds, as well as reasons and opportunities to nerd out in truly outrageous style. If you know of any, please, holla.

The things that seem to be commonplace, but really aren't that common anymore, in my opinion. Things like conversation - the kind of meaningful interaction where you don't just talk at someone without actually listening to what they have to say.

I also take great pride in being able to cook. Microwave dinners are most definitely not a part of my life.

Additionally, if you want to know oodles about stuff that's the height of trivia nonsense, I'm your dude.

If they're noticing me in public...probably tattoos? Random strangers will approach me and grope my arms to get a better view. Can't help but feel an odd mixture of pride and violation.

Well, this could take up a lot of space if my nerdy brain is given carte blanche!

So, instead, let's develop a little formula, shall we?

When it comes to entertainment, if it's something that makes you think (especially while making you laugh), is at least a tad quirky or offbeat and (many times, though not always), isn't always what's inanely popular, then chances are that I'll like it.

On the other hand, if it's puerile, derivative, frivolous, and overly concerned with its own trendiness, then I will most likely not be into it. Simple as that.

...of course, at 3:00 am, everyone likes a little bit of frivolity, right? Right.

Friends: No one is a failure so long as they have these. (Right, Clarence?)

Food: I don't/won't/can't trust someone who doesn't enjoy good food. There's something so innately human about it that you must be a monster of mythological proportions if all you do is shrug and point at the menu.

Books: Likewise, if you don't have at least one favorite book, I'm inclined to believe you have no soul.

Music: Know what else is weirdly irritating? When you ask someone what kind of music they like and they say something akin to "I dunno, lots of stuff." So. Grow some conviction this year and leave the vacillation behind. And stuff.

Art: Surely, you must find beauty in creativity; if not, what exactly do you think about?

Maybe it's for the reasons above that if you don't have passion for something, I'll tend to regard you as something of a barely-functioning corpse. Sure, you exist, but do you actually live?

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

Doing something supremely nerdy - like trying out a new recipe or trying to beef up my katamari - all with the aid of the choice microbrew of the moment.

Well, I'm ethically non-monogamous which, especially on this site, seems pretty controversial and is frequently maligned and misunderstood. Still, I prefer to be up front about it. If you're curious or skeptical, you could consult my girlfriend, AlwaysQuirky, who I'm pretty sure is more than qualified to weigh in on the matter. ;P

Either way, please don't be quick to assume that I'm contacting you simply in order to "bone." Plenty enough guys do that to her enough for me to know it's in poor taste. Instead, I'm always in the market for making new friends or finding people with common interests to hang out with. If something should progress, neato, but if not...also neato! Not so bad, no?

...you think thinking is fun and doesn't give you wrinkles. Or, at the very least, you aren't intimidated by that prospect.

...you know how many cups of sugar it takes to get to the moon.

...you're curious/shocked/amused/bemused/befuddled by the notion of non-monogamy.

...you have a favorite book you think I should read.

...you've actually scrolled down this far.

...you know what "befuddled" means.

Dealbreakers:

-People whose own dealbreakers include people who've been married before.

-Anyone whose interests sections are really just lists of things that annoy them or that they "hate".

-People who declare themselves to be "awesome" or some similar self-aggrandizing label. This is something other people say about you; saying it about yourself just smacks of desperation. Simply put, if you have to say you are, you're not.

-Anyone with pictures of themselves posing with guns. This might be penis catnip for some lonely militia dude, but not for Batman and I.