Let's talk. Yea, just you and me; a nice little friendly chat. Relax...you have the power button on your computer to keep you safe. If you magically become uncomfortable, you can always close the window or (more than likely) find another journal to read. Truth is, I'm really only words on your monitor's screen...right?

What would I like to talk about? How nice of you to inquire. I would like to talk about the way you think. Not necessarily what you think about, but the process you use to deduce, problem solve, or cope, even. I'd like to believe you're not the type of person to stub their toe and kick the cat, per say...but what do I know? I'm just trying to get to the part of you that actually has value. Don't head off to the pawn shop just yet though.

I am sure you are familiar with the onion adage (if not, stop reading)...that is your head. That's right. I just told you that your head is like an onion. What? Your head IS like an onion. What we have to do is peel away that decaying, undesirable, useless skin and get into the good part; you know, the part that makes you cry. How does one skin an onion, though? My preferred method is the sharpened knife.

If you've been following along with your secret decoder ring (there is NO secret decoder ring), than at this point I'm guessing you are either in the mood for a sexual exploit of some sort (most likely involving oral pleasures, things that have a sharp edge, and tears) or onions. Maybe I was using some elaborate design to corrupt your thoughts? Haha, words on the screen, remember?

So, if you and I are finally at some sort of understanding in this moment, I would bring about the point of this conversation...

...nevermind, there is no point.